14/08/2026
DROP THE MASK
When I first trained with Sarah Yuan Sa Yu at the Beat Retreat, my intention was very specific.
I wanted to work with Veterans experiencing Complex Trauma, using an approach developed around military experience.
After using The Military Approach CATCH PTSD or a few years, I quickly realised something.
Trauma doesn't only belong to people who have served.
The same nervous-system responses, the same fear, anger, hypervigilance, intrusive thoughts, emotional shutdown and survival patterns can affect civilians too.
So my work grew.
And although I work with both men and women (and children ) there is something particularly important to me about creating a space where men can tell the truth.
Not the polished version.
Not the version they think they're supposed to tell a therapist.
The raw version.
The uncomfortable version.
The version where they might say:
“I've done things I'm ashamed of.”
“I've hurt someone.”
“I've behaved in ways I don't want to repeat.”
“I don't understand why I react like this.”
“I don't know how to stop.”
And yes, sometimes those conversations are difficult.
But listening without judgement does not mean excusing behaviour.
It means creating enough safety for someone to finally stop hiding from themselves.
Because if a man is terrified of admitting what he's thinking or how he's behaved, how is he ever going to examine it?
How is he going to understand where it comes from?
How is he going to learn another way of responding without reactioning.
How is he going to become the partner, father, son or friend he actually wants to be if we refuse to look at.
And we cannot expect men to heal while simultaneously telling them that vulnerability makes them weak.
I'm not asking you to be less masculine.
I'm giving you permission to be human.
✅You can be strong and still struggle.
✅You can be angry and learn what your anger is trying to tell you.
✅You can have made mistakes and still take responsibility for changing.
✅You can tell the truth without being reduced to the worst thing you've ever done.
And from my perspective -
Understanding is not excusing.
Compassion is not permission.
And accountability is part of healing.
My therapy room is a place where we can talk about the things that are difficult to say out loud.
Because sometimes the first step towards changing a behaviour is finally being able to say:
“This is what I've been doing. And I don't want to be this person anymore.”
Drop the mask.
You don't have to pretend you're okay.
You just have to be honest enough to begin.
It's all I ask ....
Jacquelyn Haley
Anxiety, PTSD & Trauma Therapist
Clinical Hypnotherapist
www.anxiety-ptsd.co.uk
