13/07/2026
It wasn’t until I’d walked past her several times that I realised what she was doing.
My friend, curled up in the corner of the sofa in our Airbnb after our long coastal walk, was reading her Kindle. But every time I passed behind her, she subtly lowered the screen, ensuring I couldn't catch any of the text. Naturally, this provoked my curiosity, and eventually I couldn't resist asking if it was a good book.
She sighed and and grimaced at me "Oh Claire, it's utter trash. I'm so embarrassed. That's why I love my Kindle so much… No one can see how low-brow my reading choices are."
Ah! So now I needed to know what she considered trashy literature!!
Turns out it encompassed a broad range. Smuttiness, freebie Kindle deals, weird, hyper-niched subgenres that would never hit the mainstream, you name it, she would lap it up. But only in secret.
Her hidden hobby reminded me of a comment my husband had made weeks earlier after hanging out with a friend.
“Did you know that Ben waits for his family to go to bed before he games?”
My husband has always loved computer games. It’s thanks to him that I devoted a good couple of paragraphs of my book Burnout to waxing lyrical about this as a respectable form of rest. Well-made games have storylines, puzzles, beautiful scenery with perfectly matched music. Not only is this sensory experience enjoyable and engaging, but he’s described to me how overcoming game challenges feels like a stress release, giving him a sense of satisfaction that may not have been so forthcoming from work that day.
But gaming is another hobby that many adults feel they have to justify. Ben (not his real name!) feels comfortable doing other hobbies when his family are awake: walks, table tennis, reading the paper and so on. But gaming feels like something that needs to be hidden away.
There are now rumblings of fatigue with our self-optimisation culture. We saw that in the Steven Bartlett furore a few weeks ago when we picked-apart his reaction to drinking three glasses of wine. Once a year the Global Wellness Summit makes a statement about wellness trends, and this back-lash was exactly what they predicted for 2026. As a result, brands are moving away from products that are about pushing for personal bests, and are leaning into the joy and wellbeing that comes from activities instead. The summit also highlighted the interest now growing about nervous-system wellness – a shift from wishing to measure data for self-improvement purposes, to measuring data in the pursuit of nervous system regulation and calm.
Well, I hope this post can offer a free, fun and practical option for just that.
Research on work stress highlights the importance of psychological detachment for achieving calm: the practice of mentally switching away from work demands and giving our brains a break from problem-solving, decision-making and responsibility. The more intense your job is the more important psychological detachment is, yet paradoxically it also becomes much harder to achieve than for those in less demanding roles.
The interesting thing is that nervous system regulation and psychological detachment doesn’t always come from doing nothing as many often believe. Active rest plays a vital role here, such as gardening, cooking, gaming, volunteering or doing puzzles. These activities work because they absorb our attention in a different way. They give us a temporary escape from the pressures of productivity and achievement.
Perhaps this is why some of our more dorky hobbies are so valuable. They aren’t designed to improve us but to give us somewhere familiar to mentally rest our attention for a short while.
I also wonder if the reason these hobbies have appeared ‘uncool’ until now is precisely because they are at odds with the self-optimisation culture. They don't require us to improve, achieve or demonstrate anything. They are familiar, comforting and enjoyable which puts them at odds with a culture that has become obsessed with measuring our time by what we get from it.
So let's all bring our ‘uncool’ hobbies out into the open again. Geek out over Dungeons & Dragons. Have a nap in the middle of the day (is napping a hobby? I'm counting it if you enjoy it). Read your "trashy" novel. Watch films that weren't critically acclaimed. Choose comedy podcasts over ones that promise to teach you something.
I’m not knocking the amazing access to information we now have, or the wish to learn and improve. But it feels as though we’re reaching a societal tipping point. More and more people seem tired of feeling as though every spare moment should make them healthier, wealthier or wiser. So often, with my burnt out clients, I’m helping them think about the things they used to love doing before adulthood convinced them those things weren't worthwhile.
When I was a kid I used to spend hours in my room carving shapes into soap. Soap flakes easily (much to mum mum’s annoyance as she would find it all over my bed!) so gave quick satisfaction, plus I smelled amazing afterwards 🤣 This isn’t even an established hobby (well I’ve never heard of soap carving) but it was really fun and pointless which is exactly, well.. the point! Watch this space for my first attempt at soap carving…I’ll have a go at sharing a photo once I’m done.
What dorky hobby do you want to embrace again?
