07/06/2026
When it comes to healing, there’s a relevant concept in psychology called ‘secondary gain’ or ‘secondary benefit.’
It doesn’t mean anyone is imagining their illness. And it doesn’t mean that symptoms aren’t real.
It means that sometimes illness, stress or chronic symptoms can UNCONSCIOUSLY serve a purpose.
For some people, being unwell may create -
Permission to rest
Receiving care, love and attention
Relief from pressure or responsibility
A sense of identity
Protection from overwhelm
Connection to someone or something from the past
Familiarity and safety for a nervous system that has spent years in survival mode
The mind and body are deeply connected, and healing is not always as simple as CONSCIOUSLY wanting to get better. No matter how disruptive symptoms are.
Because sometimes getting better means -
Changing relationships or relationship dynamics.
Setting boundaries.
Leaving survival mode.
Becoming visible again.
Learning how to exist without struggle.
And for many people, that can feel uncomfortable, unfamiliar or even unsafe to the nervous system.
Healing is physical.
But it is also emotional, behavioural and psychological.
So, if you’re struggling with a chronic condition, if you’re considering ways to heal, or if you’re finding that despite trying different solutions, you aren’t quite getting the relief you had anticipated… it may help to sit with the question of ‘how might this situation be serving me?’
No judgement.
No blame.
No shame.
Just openness and curiosity.
If any of that resonates or maybe even triggers you - grab a notebook and pen and write down any answers that might arise intuitively.
💜✨
