14/01/2026
As I’ve spoken about before, we know from neuroscience research that children do not have the skill sets to manage these storms themselves.
We can’t stop them from feeling those big feelings and nor should we. When children are having these big feelings it’s our job to join them where they are at. Only then can we model and support them to work through these big feelings, using connection.
The more frequently we support kids with these big feelings, the more they will figure out how to do this themselves.
As part of my role as a play therapist I often sit with children through these big feelings, modelling my self regulation. This is just a small part of how play therapy works!
When kids act out, push back, or fall apart, it’s not defiance. It’s a signal.
A signal that something feels too big, too hard, or too overwhelming.
Instead of jumping straight to consequences, try this:
💬 “That was a big reaction — are you okay?”
💬 “Looks like something’s feeling tricky right now.”
This doesn’t mean we excuse the behaviour.
It means we meet the need behind it — and guide them from there.
Because connection is what builds cooperation. 💛
📘 Find more tools like this in my book Guidance from The Therapist Parent — available at www.thetherapistparent.com or via the link in bio.
BigFeelings ParentingWisdom
