Camilla Grainger Counselling

09/06/2026

I heard I was ugly 😉

Years ago, that would have broken me.

Now, as a counsellor, I understand that the things people say about others often tell us far more about them than the person they’re aimed at.

Women are taught to compare, compete and measure themselves against each other. It’s exhausting.

The truth is, secure people rarely need to do that. They don’t need to rank other women, tear them down, or make cruel comments to feel better about themselves.

The people who say these things are often speaking from their own insecurity, hurt or need to feel superior. That doesn’t make it okay, but it does make it less about the person they’re talking about.

It’s something I see in my counselling room too. So many people are carrying around comments that were said years ago. A throwaway remark from a parent, partner, friend or stranger that somehow became part of the way they see themselves.

But someone else’s opinion is not your identity.

I’ve survived too much in my life to let someone else’s opinion define me.

I’d rather be known for my kindness, my resilience and how I treat people than whether I fit someone else’s idea of beautiful.

And to anyone carrying a comment that’s lived in their head for too long: challenge it. Ask yourself whose voice it is, and whether it’s a voice you’d go to for advice in the first place.

Because looks change.

Character doesn’t.

❤️

And if someone feels better about themselves by calling another woman ugly, that’s a competition I was never interested in winning anyway.

We are all beautiful in our own way ♥️🦋
Not every opinion needs yo be accepted ✌️

08/06/2026

When Loving Someone With an Addiction Turns You Into an Investigator

One thing people don’t talk about enough is what addiction does to the people who love the person struggling.

You become anxious.
Hyper-alert.
Always looking for clues.

You find yourself checking stories, questioning inconsistencies, watching moods, analysing behaviour, and searching for signs that something isn’t right.

Not because you’re controlling.

Because addiction often brings secrecy, broken promises, unpredictability, and sometimes dishonesty. Over time, you learn to stay one step ahead in an attempt to protect yourself.

The damage isn’t always obvious. It’s the sleepless nights, the constant stress, the self-doubt, the walking on eggshells, and the feeling that you’ve lost yourself while trying to save someone else.

The hardest lesson is this:

You cannot love someone into recovery.

You cannot fix an addiction by becoming a better detective.

Recovery is their responsibility.

Your responsibility is you.

Sometimes healing begins when you stop investigating their life and start rebuilding your own.

❤️ Because loving someone shouldn’t mean losing yourself.

17/05/2026

“There are families smiling every day while carrying heartbreak no one sees.” 💛

Alongside my counselling work I’m also specialist trained in baby loss and as a Rainbow Baby specialist 🌈

These journeys can bring grief, anxiety, guilt, fear and hope all at once — and many parents feel very alone in it.

Sometimes having a safe space to talk really matters 💛

– Camilla
Counselling with Camilla

16/05/2026

“Healing Is Learning To Stop Abandoning Yourself” 🦋

One thing I’ve been reflecting on lately both personally and professionally is this:

Why does someone else’s suffering become more important than our own?

So many people end up stuck in patterns of rescuing, over-giving, fixing and carrying others whilst slowly losing themselves in the process.

We can become so focused on someone else’s mental health, addiction, trauma, behaviour or struggles that we stop asking ourselves:
How is this affecting me?
What do I need?
Where are my boundaries?

Compassion matters. Understanding matters.
But so does protecting your own wellbeing.

Sometimes healing is not about saving everyone else.
Sometimes healing is learning to stop abandoning yourself.

Sometimes it takes hitting rock bottom to finally see the pattern clearly 🦋

26/04/2026

Hi

I’m training as a Clinical Supervisor and looking for 2–3 trainee or qualified counsellors to work with at a reduced rate while I complete my training.

I’ve been a counsellor for 12 years, mainly in schools and private practice, and I offer a supportive, down-to-earth space.

Online or Warwick/Leamington.

Message me if interested or if you know someone who might be 😊xx

20/04/2026

20/04/2026

The question isn’t ‘Why didn’t they leave?’
It’s ‘What stopped them?’

🦋Leaving an abusive relationship isn’t a moment. It’s a process — often long, complex, and deeply painful.

🛑We need to stop asking why they stayed, and start understanding the barriers that keep people trapped:
• Fear – of violence escalating, threats, or being followed
• Children – wanting to protect them, fearing losing them, or being used as leverage
• Financial control – no access to money, no independence, nowhere safe to go
• Emotional manipulation – guilt, gaslighting, love-bombing, promises to change
• Isolation – cut off from friends, family, and support
• Shame and self-blame – feeling responsible or “weak”
• Hope – remembering who they were at the start, believing it can get better
• Trauma bonds – where love and fear become tangled
• Lack of support or understanding – not being believed, or being told to “just leave”

Leaving isn’t simple.
And often, it’s the most dangerous time.

So instead of judgement, offer compassion.
Instead of blame, offer support.
Instead of “why didn’t they leave?”
Ask, “what made it so hard — and how can we help?”

Because no one stays in abuse because they want to.
They stay because something is keeping them there.

AND STOP SAYING:
“They must have wound them up.”

Abuse is a choice.
No one causes someone else to harm them.

15/01/2026

🌱What counselling is – and what it isn’t (especially for children)

Counselling isn’t about telling children (or parents) what they want to hear.
It isn’t about giving advice, taking sides, or labelling people.

It is about offering a safe, confidential space where children can express feelings they may not yet have words for.
It’s about being listened to without judgement.
It’s about helping them understand emotions, reactions, and patterns — and supporting them to find their own voice.

💙Not every counselling experience feels helpful. Timing matters. Readiness matters. And the relationship matters too. It’s okay to take time to find the right fit.

❤️When counselling works well, it doesn’t give answers — it builds understanding, safety, and resilience.

💚Children often communicate through behaviour long before they can explain what they’re feeling.
If it helps, an initial conversation is simply that — a conversation🤍

21/12/2025

Wishing you all a happy Christmas 🦋❤️

19/12/2025

“Sometimes the hardest bond to break is the one built in survival.”

Trauma bonding explained 🌱🦋

I’ve learned that trauma bonding happens when someone is exposed to repeated cycles of fear, stress and relief within a relationship. Over time, the brain links contact with temporary safety — even when the relationship itself is harmful.

That’s why people may respond, explain themselves or seek reassurance from someone who has hurt them. It isn’t a conscious choice or a weakness — it’s a nervous system response.

Understanding this helped me let go of shame and self-blame. What I experienced wasn’t failure. It was survival.

When I was in that situation, it genuinely felt like the person who hurt me was the only one who could make it better. It was extremely confusing 🫤

But healing taught me this:
You don’t heal by going back — you heal by moving forward.

coaching domesticabuseawareness domesticabuserecovery domesticabusesurvivor healing traumabonding