09/03/2026
Self-harm is often misunderstood, and talking about it openly can help break the silence around it. Lexi, who is one of our incredible listening volunteers, is sharing her personal experience with it, and how complex and persistent it can be.
“Self-harm became a consistent struggle for me from my early teens, it was almost like an addiction - something I couldn’t easily let go of. While it has become less frequent in recent years, I haven’t self-harmed in three years now, I don’t think it’s something I’ll ever be free of struggling with.
“Looking back now, I was using self-harm as a way of trying to cope with many different feelings like helplessness, powerlessness and self-hatred. At the time, it felt like a way to express and release these intense feelings. It made my distress feel visible and tangible, especially when the adults around me dismissed what I was going through.
“In those moments, I believed I had created a sense of control when everything else felt overwhelming. I also recognise now that it became a way of trying to communicate pain and anger I didn’t know how to express.
“I felt like I was meeting a brick wall with everyone I spoke to about my self-harm and su***de attempts. I distinctly remember the first time I called Samaritans. They were the first people who ever took me seriously, and who actually recognised that there was something wrong. I wasn't treated like a child or made to feel that I was being dramatic. My feelings were validated. From there, I felt like I could advocate for myself at a time when it would have been easy to just give up and think, ‘I keep asking for help and nobody is giving it to me.’
“I really do believe I wouldn't be here today without Samaritans. There were multiple times where I felt like I was going to self-harm, or I was going to take my own life, and Samaritans would talk me down. I have a lot to thank them for.
“Dealing with the core issues that I was using self-harm to cope with helped significantly, and later in life I received addiction counselling for alcohol and found much of it applicable to self-harm also.”
“To anyone struggling with self-harm, here’s what I would say, and what I wish someone had said to me: It’s hard to stop alone, so please try to find support, anywhere you can, even though it’s hard. I want you to know if you can’t find that support, you can be your own support. You can treat yourself like you would a friend, you can take care of yourself and tell yourself it’s going to be OK. ”
Thank you, Lexi, for showing such strength in sharing your story, and for being there on our phonelines to help others feel less alone. We’re so lucky to have you as part of Samaritans
