Effective Thoughts

17/09/2026

I often hear in coaching sessions, "that's exactly what I needed to hear!".  I will share these coaching insights, just in case it's helpful for you today.

🌠 Denying our needs or truth to placate another person is a type of self betrayal and is not sustainable.

Let me know how this one lands for you, or you have any questions... and watch out for more.

My blurb:
I am a Life, Leadership & Trauma Coach with over 20 years experience coaching in groups and 1:1s in person and online.
Experienced and trained in multiple modalities including Accredited Coaching; Systemic Team Coaching; Dare to Lead Coaching; Somatic EMDR; Parts work & IFS; Group Coaching. Trauma, nervous system, and neurodivergent focused.
Resources avaliable on my website include an ebook: 'Invisible Damage - Healing from a narcissist or emotional unavailable parent' & a recorded Masterclass: 'Overwhelm & The Nervous System'
Free consultations avaliable if you're Coach Curious!

15/09/2026

I often hear in coaching sessions, "that's exactly what I needed to hear!". I will share these coaching insights on social media, just in case it's helpful for you today.

🌠 Emotions need to be in motion, which is why they can cause problems if they are not moved through us.

Let me know how this one lands for you, or you have any questions... and watch out for more.

My blurb:
✔️ I am a Life, Leadership & Trauma Coach with over 20 years experience coaching in groups and 1:1s in person and online.
✔️ Experienced and trained in multiple modalities including Accredited Coaching; Systemic Team Coaching; Dare to Lead Coaching; Somatic EMDR; Parts work & IFS; Group Coaching.
✔️ Trauma, nervous system, and neurodivergent focused.
✔️ Resources avaliable on my website include an ebook: 'Invisible Damage - Healing from a narcissist or emotional unavailable parent' & a recorded Masterclass: 'Overwhelm & The Nervous System'
✔️ Free consultations avaliable if you're Coach Curious!

12/09/2026

I'm back on the socials following some significant "life stuff". My 20 years of coaching and trauma knowledge has been helping me immeasurably.

Here's what helped.. PART 3 : Focus points to enable a healthy stress reponse during a hefty load of adversity.

As well as noticing and acknowledging feelings, I was intentional about 3 areas -  emotional, physical, energetic.

> Emotional - I talked, journaled, sought support, meditated (even if just 5 minutes), had somatic EMDR sessions.

> Physical - I walked. I aimed to honour sleep (even when not easy, like the nights in the hospital with my loved one). I moved whenever possible, even if just a few minutes of stretching or nervous system supporting moves. I chose whole, clean, healthy food.

> Energetic - I pared my bookings back in order to show up for my family. This took some acceptance at times (missing gatherings with family & friends, selling my local hero tickets to Fat Boy Slim & Nick Cave). I reduced my voluntary work commitments of community workshops and peer supervision groups, even though I love them.
- I checked old expectations around getting stuff done - I was doing enough.
- I added in micro breaks/rest to my days.
- I leant into acceptance and remembered what was in my control. I couldn't fix things. My aim became focused on processing adversity rather than rescuing/fixing.

These focus areas and tools make a difference, but can never make us immune to pain and adversity. Enabling a healthy stress response is how we recover.

10/09/2026

It's World Su***de Prevention Day
Su***de is a symptom of unbearable pain
No one should suffer alone. Noticing, acknowledging and starting conversations really matter.
In the UK & Republic of Ireland, Samaritans is free and available 24 hours a day - 116 123. For other countries use www.findahelpline.com

2nd Image via Mind


***de

09/09/2026

I'm back on the socials following some significant "life stuff".
Here's what helped..

Part 2 ~ The 3 Ps
3 things I repeatedly remembered to enable a healthy stress reponse during a hefty load of adversity.

I remembered that my pain was NOT the 3Ps - (Martin Seligman's summary of what we habitually assume our adversity to be) -

Personal. Pervasive. Permanent.

These difficulties are ...
Not PERSONAL - I didn't invite these situations.
This is not retribution or a reflection of my character or my failings.
They are not all about me.

Not PERVASIVE - They do not impact every part of my life.
I still have things I appreciate that support and restore me.
I can appreciate the small things that give me contentment and gratitude.

Not PERMANENT - This will pass.
Nothing stays the same, I will adapt.
I can deal with things as they transpire

Watch out for 1 more part coming up detailing how I enabled a healthy stress response.

05/09/2026

I'm back on social media following some significant "life stuff". Here's what helped:

3 things I repeatedly did to enable a healthy stress reponse during a hefty load of adversity..

Part 1 ~ The 3 As

[More parts coming up soon: emotional processing requires a systemic approach]

Acknowledge/Accept/Appreciate

Acknowledge (without fixing)
I acknowledged all of my feelings (this was repeatedly hard, parts of me would rather be scrolling or watching Netflix). I didn't numb or avoid the painful feelings even though it was very tempting. I noticed where I felt the feelings in my body.

Accept
I accepted each situation (often with difficulty). The adversity is what it is. This is important because the opposite of acceptance is resistance, which serves only to increase stress.

Appreciate
I appreciated any good I couid find. This is not 'toxic positivity', bypassing or repressing. It is acknowledging that many things can be true at once: there is safety amongst the stress, the adversity is not pervasive.
For me, this including my flexible and purpose filled work; a safe, secure home; living close to the hospital and a trustworthy vet practice; support from friends, access to nature/beach.

More parts coming up!

04/09/2026

25/06/2026

04/06/2026

Is it ever wise to repress or park our feelings?

Sometimes, it is necessary to put aside our feelings until later. Especially in those important moments where we need to fulfill a role.

The key is to return to revisit those parked emotions. Allow them, notice how they show up in our body. To stay with the discomfort and acknowledge the feelings.

Total repression and avoidance will lead to other issues, including disregulation, stress symptoms, physical tension or pain.

How do you remember to return to those parked feelings after the event?

28/05/2026

Do you sometimes lose the plot?

Our inner monologues can be both distracting and fear mongering. They take us away from being fully present, and make us doubt our ability to participate.

Try a simple attention adjustment from noticing 'the inner', to noticing 'the outer'.

In a meeting or conversation - Challenge yourself to really focus more on what is being communicated, and less on how you will be wording any response. Listen to the words, make notes if it helps to keep your attention.

You may have to repeat this over and over, especially as you learn this focus adjustment.