The ACTful Parent

The ACTful Parent Acceptance Commitment Therapy for Parents of neurodivergent children. Join our journey. Do what matters. Find a space. Make room. Registered Clinical Psychologist.

How do we fairly hold all the stories we tell ourselves about the parent we are? Even with the best intentions noone sta...
07/06/2026

How do we fairly hold all the stories we tell ourselves about the parent we are?

Even with the best intentions noone stays completely regulated all the time, always has perfecr advice or figures out what is needed in the moment in time. Parents are humans.

It happens. A moment arrives faster than your best response does.

And almost before the moment is over, your mind has already turned it into something: evidence, proof, about the kind of parent you are or are not.

That story can take hold quickly.

What we do after the moment matters if we can come back to our values about what it means to be a 'good enough parent'.

It's in what you do with the next moment that follows. Coming back. Repairing. Show responsibility. Keeping showing up.





Some moments arrive all at once. Usually after school and work on a tuesday, when the washings still in the machine and ...
04/06/2026

Some moments arrive all at once. Usually after school and work on a tuesday, when the washings still in the machine and a quick dinner somehow isn't started and already not everyone wants it, someone wants to start a craft project 5 minutes ago and has asked 36 times, your friend calls with a dilemma and someone just spilt a drink on the sofa in an arguement.

There's no good order to handle them in. No version where everyone gets what they need at exactly the right time. It feels like there isn't chance to think of an order.

In those moments, the mind often adds another layer too, just to be extra helpful. A running commentary about how a 'better parent' would be managing right now.

But sometimes the most useful thing isn't a better strategy. Some moments are just not very workable as they are.

'Thanks mind, yeh this is a lot.'





You can feel the shift when this trap shows up.Probably happens to us all on busy, testing days.Your mind moves ahead: t...
01/06/2026

You can feel the shift when this trap shows up.

Probably happens to us all on busy, testing days.

Your mind moves ahead: towards bedtime, quiet, relief.

And the moment you’re in starts to feel like something to get through or get out of.

That pull is understandable.

And it often takes you slightly out of what’s happening, and into a kind of tension with it.
'This is too hard'
'When will I get to swotch off?!'

Sometimes the shift isn’t slowing everything down or making it better.

It’s simply noticing:

'I’m trying to get out of this moment.'

And then, even briefly, coming back.

Being curious. What is this telling me about what else I need?




You know those moments when you want to see the best in your kids but you just can't help but wonder.. 'did they throw a...
28/05/2026

You know those moments when you want to see the best in your kids but you just can't help but wonder.. 'did they throw all the chalk in the paddling pool 8 more times after I gave them a boundary just so I lose my cool?'
'Are they shrieking at the topic of their lungs for the sensory feedback or do they sense that I left my earloops at home and they want the supermarket to judge us?' I wonder....

Maybe or maybe not but one version of this helps me stay present and the other version leads down a rabbit hole of frustration.

When behaviour is difficult or repetitive, the mind can quickly build a narrative around it... one that often involves intent.

That sriry your mind starts building shapes your response. If the behaviour feels deliberate, the response tends to be harder. More direct. Less curious. Less compassionate.

Sometimes it helps to hold the story a little more loosely to bring back what is important in that moment.

Not excusing the behaviour. Not giving up on boundaries. Just staying open to what might actually be going on, before my response is already decided. Stepping back gently to decide how to approach.

When do you notice this most?





This is one of those moments that can build quickly.A thought shows up. It seems real and crucial.Your body responds. Yo...
25/05/2026

This is one of those moments that can build quickly.

A thought shows up. It seems real and crucial.

Your body responds. Your tone changes.

Before long, you’re no longer really choosing how to respond: you’re in it.
"Why aren't they listening to me?"
"Now I am going to be late"
Your body tenses more.

Noticing that sequence, even halfway through, can be enough to interrupt it slightly.

But enough to open another option...
you might still be late.





These thoughts often arrive as rules."If I was a good parent I would....."Clear. Hard to argue with. Probably not always...
21/05/2026

These thoughts often arrive as rules.
"If I was a good parent I would....."

Clear. Hard to argue with. Probably not always realistic.

But when you’re already stretched, they can narrow things down, pulling you towards judgement, or away from what’s actually needed in the moment.

You don’t have to get rid of them.

Just seeing them as thoughts can loosen their grip slightly.

“I’m having the ‘good parent’ thought.”

And from there, you may have a little more room to choose what you do next that's workable to you.





Anyone else relate?A sharp interaction can quickly turn into something more.Not just what happened, but what it means ab...
16/05/2026

Anyone else relate?

A sharp interaction can quickly turn into something more.

Not just what happened, but what it means about you as a parent, as a whole, in an all or nothing way.

That shift can happen fast and get in the way of what is actually important or helpful at the time.

Sometimes the work is simply noticing:

“My mind is turning this into a bigger story.”

And coming back to what’s actually here:

one moment,

and what you choose to do next.

Apologising, take a breath, anchoring, noticing emotions...


These thoughts often arrive as rules and sound like help.Very convincing. They seem logical. Hard to argue with.But when...
06/05/2026

These thoughts often arrive as rules and sound like help.

Very convincing. They seem logical. Hard to argue with.

But when you’re already stretched, they can narrow things down and start pulling you towards judgement, or away from what’s actually needed in the moment.

You don’t have to get rid of them though.

Just seeing them as thoughts can loosen their grip slightly.

“I’m having the ‘good parent’ thought."

And from there, you may have a little more room to choose what you do next rather than stay caught in the trap.

These thoughts often arrive as rules and sound like help.Very convincing. They seem logical. Hard to argue with.But when...
06/05/2026

These thoughts often arrive as rules and sound like help.

Very convincing. They seem logical. Hard to argue with.

But when you’re already stretched, they can narrow things down and start pulling you towards judgement, or away from what’s actually needed in the moment.

You don’t have to get rid of them though.

Just seeing them as thoughts can loosen their grip slightly.

“I’m having the ‘good parent’ thought."

And from there, you may have a little more room to choose what you do next rather than stay caught in the trap.

When your child is upset about something, it’s natural to want to remove the feeling and to make things better, quickly!...
30/04/2026

When your child is upset about something, it’s natural to want to remove the feeling and to make things better, quickly!

That urge comes from care and love and our super ability to fix problems.

But sometimes acting on it straight away can pull you slightly off course, actually away from something else that matters too.

Being alongside them and staying with them in it.

Not actually fixing feelings and problems immediately.

Just being there, as it unfolds and being curious with them can be valuable in so many ways.
It shows we can make room for feelings and discomfort, emotions can be tolerated, we can hold it together, sometimes we discover something through the process.

As a parent it can be uncomfortable, feel unnatural, you can easily get hooked into why the situation needs solving, especially in those moments you are already running late somewhere or depleted yourself.

This is my intention to pause long enough to be present, just to hold the moment with them and willingness to be with what shows up.

Does this ever show up for you as a parent trap?

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