Talkmebetter.co.uk

09/03/2026

I can speak as someone in the field on this one. The Welsh govt was embarrassed by long waiting lists for adult adhd and autism assessments so a couple years back stopped accepting legitimate referrals. Id had a long period of helping people get diagnosis and I had a 100% track record of successful referral and diagnosis. And then one day it stopped and I discover through my network of ADHD colleagues the reason. A lot of adults are discovering their difficulties in school should have been picked up back then but were ignored or labelled as problem child. As adults, difficulties at university, in relationships and with employment continue but can be eased with reasonable adjustments and in some cases medication. The drugs are cheap but long waiting lists are embarrassing: so close the lists or demonise those seeking help. Politically it looks better. But people failed by the education system then end up thrown under the bus in adulthood for political expediency.

https://www.facebook.com/share/p/18YxLqXxYp/

Experts are pushing back against claims that ADHD is overdiagnosed in the UK 🙅‍♀️

A paper in the British Journal of Psychiatry warns that alarmist talk about overdiagnosis could stop people from getting the care they need.

While more diagnoses are happening, this reflects greater awareness and catching up on years of missed cases.

The real issue is the long NHS waiting times for diagnosis and support.

05/02/2026

Theres a gender bias in psychiatry (and its argued in medicine more generally) that disadvantages neurodivergent girls and women (and AMAB transfemale). Article here from the guardian is useful in creating awareness.

By age 20 diagnosis rates for men and women almost equal, research finds, challenging assumptions of gender discrepancy

02/02/2026

For many folk, parents offered a safe, validating and nurturing environment, and the memories and relationships are treasured on both sides. But for some, homelife was more complex. And sometimes parents fail in that key role of offering love in a meaningful way. When relationships with parents are psychologically injurous, sometimes estrangememt becomes necessary. In that case we end up grieving the loss of the parents we'll never have, while they are still alive. For a long time estrangememt was taboo but more folk are speaking out and calling a stop to abusive parental dynamics. The quote in the article will resonate for many.

29/11/2025

Christmas can be overwhelming for neurodivergent children. Decompression time and limiting social exposure/demands can make all the difference.

23/10/2025

Really good resource here on understanding the powerful emotions related to intimate relationships. Our experiences growing up also play a big part in who we are drawn to unconsciously and that's not necessarily a healthy or useful thing. But we can be freed from the ghosts of the past and have healthier relationships by understanding ourselves better. Good therapy can really help in developing that self awareness.

13/10/2025

This makes me rage! Article by someone unqualified to comment on ND diagnosis perpetuates stigma and shame. But there is a story to be told - of under-diagnosis, of students pushed out of state education in to home schooling because its cheaper to scapegoat parents than fund ALN/SEND properly. Is there an inequality between poorer parents and those more financially advantaged? Yes.

The headline should more correctly read: " Poorer parents disadvantaged in under-resourced SEND provision system". The truth is the parents who have savings or pensions to cash in to fund legal action are more likely to get diagnosis for their child because education departments want to (in their words) "stem the flow of referrals" but know they lose if it goes to tribunal. Clinicians will not diagnose conditions that are not present - you can't simply "buy" a diagnosis, only access to psychologists or psychiatrists qualified to assess. With an ALN child, everything is a fight to get your child's needs met. Political pressure on schools and social services makes it so. And articles like this promote the abelism that injures ALN kids in s hools every day of the week.

12/10/2025

Best quote: "online dating app is a misnomer. Its an introduction app."

Article highlights how users (especially men) are using chatgpt to make up for poor social skills. The best advice as ever is move quickly into IRL settings for f2f interaction and you'll get a truer sense of who they are. Asking about attachnent style or suggesting a walk in a lavender field might be a clue that the online text convo has gone ai. That and a delay in response.

Where once people were duped by soft-focus photos and borrowed chat-up lines, now they have to watch out for computer-generated charm. But it’s one thing to use a witty phrase – another thing entirely to build a whole fake persona …

23/07/2025

Interesting paper on ADHD considering the ADHD child within an eco-system: that the parent-child; teacher-child; parent-school and social factors are influencial in moderating the difficulties and achieving better outcomes. The paper doesn't acknowledge the High-IQ ADHD child or the "good-girl-ADHD" child where academic performance is masked: they can appear reasonably successful but at a big cost in terms of effort and "don't achieve full potential" which is a common sentiment on school reports. Overall, the paper is worth a read to encourage teachers and parents to collaborate constructively to create the best environment for the ADHD child. It also touches briefly on the the situation where one parent is recognising the challenges and working constructively, whilst the other parent takes a more punitive approach. (Punitiveness and shaming cause the most injury to the sense of self of the ADHD child be that fron parents or teachers.)

Although its an academic paper its written well, the language is clear and the ideas set out well.
PostScritp: The first sentence of the conclusion needs clarifying: having ADHD adversely affects academic outcomes, a diagnosis of ADHD offers the chance to mitigate those injuries.
https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s40474-015-0038-6

13/07/2025

PMDD is a much more impactful version of P.MS and it occurs in much higher prevalence in the ND community. Better awareness will reduce stigma and self-blame.

https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/adhd-pmdd-symptoms-premenstrual-dysphoric-disorder-b2787767.html

A recent study found that having ADHD makes women around three times more likely to experience premenstrual dysphoric disorder

21/06/2025

Hard Relate. The injunction "you've got so much potential" is really problematic. High IQ masks some of the difficulties but the higher effort to achieve is really draining and is so often not enough to appease the adults. soon becomes a core belief.

14/04/2025

We need as a society to lessen the stigma when this happens to be the case...