14/04/2026
Most people don’t suddenly realise something isn’t working.
It tends to happen more quietly than that.
They keep doing what they’ve always done.
Adapting.
Adjusting.
Figuring things out as they go.
And for a while, it works.
It helps them manage situations.
It helps them fit in.
It helps them avoid being misunderstood.
But over time, the effort behind it can start to grow.
They may notice they need more time to recover.
Or that things that used to feel manageable now take more out of them.
Or that they’re thinking more about how they’re coming across than they used to.
Nothing dramatic.
Nothing they can easily point to.
Just a gradual shift.
𝗔𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗻, 𝗮𝘁 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗽𝗼𝗶𝗻𝘁, 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲’𝘀 𝗮 𝗺𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝗮𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀.
Not a big realisation.
More like a quiet question:
“Why does this feel so hard?”
Or:
“Why am I so tired from something that used to feel okay?”
That moment doesn’t solve anything.
But it changes something.
Because once someone begins to notice the difference between what feels natural
and what feels like effort,
𝗶𝘁 𝗯𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘀 𝗱𝗶𝗳𝗳𝗶𝗰𝘂𝗹𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗽𝗹𝗲𝘁𝗲𝗹𝘆 𝘂𝗻𝘀𝗲𝗲 𝗶𝘁.
From there, change doesn’t usually come in big steps.
It shows up in smaller ways.
Taking a bit more time before responding.
Stepping back from something sooner.
Not pushing through in quite the same way.
These aren’t dramatic shifts.
But they can begin to reduce the constant pressure of having to override themselves.
And for many autistic people, that pressure has been there for a long time.
Often without being fully recognised.
𝗧𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗶𝘀𝗻’𝘁 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗯𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗮𝘂𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗰 𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁.
It’s about slowly creating the conditions where it feels safer to stop pushing past themselves in the same way.
Where they can begin to listen more closely to what their body is already signalling.
—
This is part of what’s explored in The Eleven New Commandments by Mícheál Ó Mathúna
— what happens when ways of coping that once worked begin to carry a cost.
𝗔𝘃𝗮𝗶𝗹𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝗔𝗽𝗿𝗶𝗹 𝟭𝟳.
