27/08/2026
Empathy doesn't arrive all at once. It builds in stages, and it starts earlier than most people expect.
Newborns cry more at the sound of another baby crying than at other loud noises, but that's a reflex, not empathy yet. Around a year old, a baby can be genuinely distressed by someone else's distress without being able to separate it from their own (Hoffman called this egocentric empathic distress). The real shift starts at 14 months: in a classic study, infants that age spontaneously handed back a dropped object or opened a cabinet an adult couldn't reach, unprompted and for no reward. By around 18 months, that kind of helping shows up across all kinds of situations, and starts targeting someone's actual distress directly, not just finishing a task.
Genuine perspective-taking, understanding that someone else can believe something false, is a separate skill that arrives later, typically around age four.
The practical takeaway: under two, model and narrate feelings rather than expecting perspective-taking, and know that "put yourself in their shoes" asks for a skill that genuinely isn't there yet.
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