20/06/2024
Gabor Mate 20/6/2024.
What a day listening to the world’s best trauma expert and expert in health 🙏❤️ some of insights below if interesting in reading 🙌🧠
TRAUMA is not what happened to you, it’s the result of what happened to you? Trauma meaning = wound.
The GOOD NEWS: you don’t need to change the past but you can heal yourself in the present (the result of what happened). Therefore, you can heal from trauma.
Cue to help here-what happened inside you when trauma occurred that you are still carrying. Be present, connect, work from there.
CONNECTION with self is the key to healing & relationships - being the best parent / spouse / partner etc. Connection with self is uncomfortable and you will have to confront VULNERABILITY. That’s where growth happens. A crab cannot grow in a hard shell, it must loose the shell (become extremely vulnerable) to grow.
The BODY & MIND are not separate entities, they work together and need to be treated that way. When illnesses arises - we need to look at the body and mind in the context of that persons life at that time - what process is/was going on.
E.g. a person with all the symptoms of depression after losing a loved one. Do they have depression and a chemical imbalance or are they having a normal response after losing a loved one.
ADDICTION - it’s not a disease, it’s a coping mechanism. It’s a way not to suffer. Don’t ask why the addiction, ask why the pain?
TRIGGERS - when you get triggered. It’s a good time to look at the “explosive charge”. What exactly in you is being triggered.
The TRUTH is inside us all - just need to ask the right questions.
FOUR necessary needs for the healthy development of a child.
1. Strong relational attachments - multiple where the child feels secure, accepted and safe.
2. Rest - the child does not need to work to make the relationship work.
3. The child is allowed to express all emotions in a way that is accepted, seen, mirrored, validated and heard.
4. Free play in nature.
If you want to nail parenting - attachment AND authenticity.
