DDP Parenting Making Attachments Matter

DDP Parenting Making Attachments Matter Support for parents caring for children who’ve experienced trauma. Using DDP Parenting to help families rebuild safety, trust, and connection.

THE OBVIOUS QUESTION MIGHT BE "WHAT IS ATTACHMENT AND WHY DOES IT MATTER"

"'Attachment' is a term used to describe the dependency relationship a child develops towards his or her primary givers. It is first observable during the latter half of the first year of life and develops progressively over the first four years of life. It is most readably observed in the behaviour of children when they are sick, injured, tired, anxious, hungry or thirsty' (Pearce, 2009)

Attachment behaviour ensures the survival of the infants and young children by keeping their caregivers close and available to provide protection and comfort. The attachment relationship provides the context for the main developmental task of infancy and early childhood, particularly emotional regulation and development of the capacity to ’mentalise’ (Furnivall, 2011)

The characteristics of caregivers affect the organisation and security of children’s attachment relationship with them. Sensitive, responsive parenting and parental ability to reflect on the infant’s own thoughts and feelings are associated with secure attachments in children.(Furnivall, 2011)

Children who have experienced maltreatment are significantly more likely to develop disorganised attachments and these can have lifelong physical, emotional and social consequences. (Furnivall, 2011, Shemmings and Shemmings, 2011)

Recent evidence from neuroscience confirms the importance of the early emotional and social experience of infants for the healthy development of their brains. Maltreatment can disturb the patterns of cortisol (stress hormone) secretion which can affect the immediate and long term mental and physical health. (Furnivall, 2011)
Looked after children benefit from developing secure attachments with their caregivers and interventions should support the development of these, whether children remain at home or are cared for outside their family (Furnivall, 2011). Successful placements are more likely when carers are able to respond to the children at their emotional care rather than their chronological one. Interventions with children should aim to address developmental brain impairment by providing care that build fundamental brain capacities. For looked after children this will (“may” italics added by J Gibson ) mean less use of verbal techniques and greater concentration of on physical, sensory and emotional way of working (Furnivall, 2011)
Caregivers should be assessed on the capacity to tolerate difficult behaviour and remain sensitive and responsive to the needs of children (Furnivall, 2011)
Support and training should be available provided to caregivers to ensure that they are able to maintain their capacity to be reflective about children rather than reactive to their behaviour (Furnivall, 2011)
Attachment-inform practice may require a policy and culture shift to ensure that children’s needs are appropriately met when care for away from home (Furnivall, 2011)

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28/08/2026

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🌟 Free Webinar for Parents & Foster Parents — Looking for 8 Volunteers! 🌟I’m inviting up to eight parents or foster pare...
26/08/2026

🌟 Free Webinar for Parents & Foster Parents — Looking for 8 Volunteers! 🌟
I’m inviting up to eight parents or foster parents to join a free, small‑group webinar where I’ll be piloting a brand‑new training programme based on modern brain science and trauma‑informed practice.

If you’ve ever wondered why children react the way they do, or wished you had a clearer, calmer way to understand behaviour, this session is designed for you.

👶 What you’ll learn
A simple, practical way to understand children’s behaviour through the predictive brain

Why emotions are constructed, not automatic

How the B.U.D.G.E.T.© model helps you see what your child’s brain is doing in the moment

How PACE (Playfulness, Acceptance, Curiosity, Empathy) creates safety and connection

Real‑life strategies you can use immediately

💬 Why I’m running this pilot
I’m testing the flow, clarity, and usefulness of the programme before wider release. Your feedback will help shape a resource designed to support carers, foster parents, and anyone raising children who’ve experienced early adversity.

🕒 Details
Cost: Free

Group size: Maximum of 8 participants - first eight commers get it!

Format: Online webinar

Who can join: foster parents, adoptive parents, kinship carers

If you’d like to take part send me a message.

I’d love to have you involved.

Did You Know… Repair Matters More Than PerfectionEvery parent loses patience sometimes.Every relationship has moments of...
26/08/2026

Did You Know… Repair Matters More Than Perfection
Every parent loses patience sometimes.
Every relationship has moments of rupture.
That’s not failure — it’s part of being human.

What truly shapes a child’s healing isn’t never getting it wrong —
it’s how we come back after things go wrong.

💛 Why repair matters
When you reconnect after a tough moment — a raised voice, a misunderstanding, a shutdown —
your child’s brain learns something powerful:

“Relationships can survive mistakes.”
“I’m still safe even when things go wrong.”

That’s how trust grows — not from perfection, but from predictable repair.

🧠 The science behind it
The brain is a prediction machine.
When a rupture happens, your child’s brain predicts danger.
When you repair calmly and kindly, it updates that prediction to safety.

Each repair rewires the brain for connection.

🤝 DDP & PACE in action
Using Playfulness, Acceptance, Curiosity, and Empathy (PACE) helps repair moments gently.
It tells the child’s nervous system:
“You’re still loved.”
“You’re still safe.”
“We can find our way back.”

💬 A simple takeaway
Perfection doesn’t build trust — repair does.
Every time you reconnect, you teach the brain:
Safety can return. Love can last.

Drop me a DM if you want to know more or what to learn how to apply these ideas to parenting.🌟 Did You Know……that for de...
07/08/2026

Drop me a DM if you want to know more or what to learn how to apply these ideas to parenting.
🌟 Did You Know…
…that for decades — maybe even millennia — we’ve been misled about how the human brain works?
For years, we were told there was a “thinking brain” and an “emotional brain” fighting each other.
You might know this as the Triune Brain model — the idea of a “lizard brain,” a “mammal brain,” and a “human brain.”
It’s a powerful story.
But modern neuroscience shows it’s not how the brain actually works.
________________________________________
🧠 The real brain is a prediction machine
Instead of reacting to the world, your child’s brain is constantly predicting what will happen next.
It asks:
“Am I safe?”
“What does this mean?”
“What should I do now?”
Those predictions come before feelings or behaviour.
________________________________________
💛 Constructed Emotions
Emotions aren’t automatic reactions.
They’re meanings the brain builds from body sensations + past experience + context.
A racing heart might be interpreted as:
• “I’m in trouble”
• “Someone is angry”
• “I’m not safe”
The feeling comes after the prediction.
________________________________________
🤝 Why this matters for parenting
When a child shows big feelings, it’s easy to start with:
“What is my child feeling?”
But neuroscience gives us a more accurate starting point:
“What is their brain predicting?”
Because the prediction comes first —
and the emotion is built from that prediction.
________________________________________
⭐ A simple takeaway for all of us
Although it seems natural to ask what the child is feeling,
it’s scientifically more accurate — and more helpful — to ask:
“What is their brain expecting or predicting right now?”
Understanding the prediction helps you understand the emotion.

🌟 Did you know that……your child’s brain is constantly predicting what will happen next — and those predictions shape the...
06/08/2026

🌟 Did you know that…
…your child’s brain is constantly predicting what will happen next — and those predictions shape their behaviour far more than the moment itself?

Children don’t just react to situations.
They react to what their brain expects based on past experiences.

🧠 Predictive Processing
Your child’s brain is always asking:
“Am I safe?”
“What’s going to happen now?”

If they’ve had stress, uncertainty, or big emotional moments in the past, their brain may predict danger even when things are calm.
That can look like:

jumping to anger

shutting down

getting overwhelmed

pushing adults away

“big feelings” that seem to come out of nowhere

These aren’t choices — they’re protective predictions.

💛 Constructed Emotions
Feelings are not automatic reactions.
They’re meanings the brain creates from body sensations.

A fast heartbeat + tight tummy might be interpreted as:
“I’m in trouble”
“I’ve done something wrong”
“Someone is angry with me”

Helping children understand their body signals gives them new emotional meanings — and new ways to cope.

🤝 DDP & PACE: A way of relating that helps
In Dyadic Developmental Practice (DDP), we use PACE —
Playfulness, Acceptance, Curiosity, Empathy —
to help children feel safe enough to update their predictions.

PACE teaches the brain:
“You’re understood.”
“You’re safe.”
“You don’t need to defend yourself.”

When children feel safe, their predictions soften — and their behaviour follows.

💬 A simple takeaway for parents
Understanding how the brain works doesn’t make you a neuroscientist.
It just gives you a kinder lens:

Big feelings are often big predictions.
Connection helps the brain rewrite them.

Do you ever feel like every attempt to connect with your child turns into big feelings, arguments, or shutdowns?  You’re...
06/08/2026

Do you ever feel like every attempt to connect with your child turns into big feelings, arguments, or shutdowns?
You’re trying your best — but nothing seems to land.

For many foster, adoptive, and birth parents, this isn’t a sign of failure.
It’s a sign your child is struggling to feel safe enough to let connection in.

Children who’ve lived through fear or uncertainty often show their deepest needs through their hardest behaviours. Not because they don’t want closeness — but because closeness feels risky.

If you’re exhausted, stuck, or unsure what your child needs, you’re not alone.
This page is here to help you understand the big behaviours and rebuild connection gently, one moment at a time.

Connection is possible — even when it feels out of reach.

Address

Ballykeeran
Kilmacrenan
F92VY57

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Tuesday 9am - 5pm
Wednesday 9am - 5pm
Thursday 9am - 5pm
Friday 9am - 5pm

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0863910286

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