Sylwia Kuchenna

Sylwia Kuchenna 💙 Psychotherapist✨Trauma Informed Therapist✨Inner Child Expert✨ Author✨Podcaster✨Founder of Horizon💙

We've gotten so used to labeling everything that hurts as toxic, harmful, traumatic, or a red flag that we've started lo...
14/06/2026

We've gotten so used to labeling everything that hurts as toxic, harmful, traumatic, or a red flag that we've started losing an important skill: the ability to tolerate discomfort.

Not everything that feels painful is damaging. Not everything that challenges us is unhealthy. And not every difficult emotion is a sign that something is wrong.

Sometimes, growth feels uncomfortable.

Sometimes, setting boundaries disappoints people. Sometimes, hearing feedback stings. Sometimes, relationships require difficult conversations. Sometimes, healing means facing emotions you've spent years avoiding. Sometimes, life asks you to sit with uncertainty, rejection, grief, frustration, or failure.

Discomfort is not always danger.

In a world that encourages us to immediately escape, avoid, block, numb, distract, or label every unpleasant feeling, we can forget that resilience is built by learning how to stay present with life's inevitable challenges.

The goal isn't to avoid all discomfort. The goal is to learn the difference between what is truly harmful and what is simply hard.

Because some experiences break us down. But others are the very experiences that help us grow stronger, wiser, and more emotionally mature.

Not everything that hurts is hurting you. Sometimes, it's stretching you.

With love,
Sylwia 🤍

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11/06/2026

The little girl everyone praised for being "so mature for her age" often wasn't mature at all.

She was surviving.

She learned early that being easy, helpful, responsible, and emotionally self-sufficient earned her love, approval, and safety. She became the child who never caused problems, never asked for too much, and always seemed to have everything under control.

Adults admired her independence.

What they often didn't see was the anxiety underneath it.

The pressure to be perfect. The fear of disappointing others. The belief that her needs were less important than everyone else's. The loneliness of carrying responsibilities that were never meant for a child.

Many of these girls grow into highly successful women. They achieve, perform, care for everyone around them, and rarely ask for help. From the outside, their lives may look impressive.

Yet inside, they may still carry the same question they carried as children:

"If I stop achieving, helping, fixing, and holding everything together... will I still be worthy of love?"

Healing is not about becoming stronger.

It's about allowing yourself to finally be human.

To have needs. To rest without guilt. To receive support. To stop proving your worth through sacrifice.

Because the child who had to grow up too fast deserves the chance to be cared for too. ❤️

The Complex Trauma Recovery Milestone Moments 🌱Healing from complex trauma is rarely marked by grand breakthroughs. More...
08/06/2026

The Complex Trauma Recovery Milestone Moments 🌱

Healing from complex trauma is rarely marked by grand breakthroughs. More often, it reveals itself in small, quiet moments that many people overlook.

✨ The first time you say "no" without spending days feeling guilty.

✨ The moment you realize someone's bad mood is not your responsibility to fix.

✨ When you stop apologizing for taking up space, having needs, or expressing emotions.

✨ When you notice a trigger, but it no longer completely takes over your day.

✨ The first time you choose rest without feeling like you have to earn it.

✨ When you begin to recognize self-criticism as an old survival strategy rather than the truth.

✨ When healthy relationships start to feel familiar instead of boring.

✨ When you stop chasing people who are emotionally unavailable.

✨ The moment you realize you're no longer living solely in survival mode.

✨ When you feel an emotion fully without trying to numb, avoid, or suppress it.

Complex trauma often teaches us to abandon ourselves in order to stay safe. Recovery is the gradual process of coming back home to yourself.

And sometimes, the biggest milestone isn't becoming a completely different person. It's finally feeling safe enough to be who you were always meant to be.

If your healing feels slow, remember: every boundary, every act of self-compassion, every moment of choosing yourself over old survival patterns is progress.

The most important milestones in trauma recovery are often the ones nobody else can see—but they change everything.

đź’› Which recovery milestone are you most proud of?





There comes a moment when you realise that the pain you carry today may not have started today.Many of the struggles we ...
04/06/2026

There comes a moment when you realise that the pain you carry today may not have started today.

Many of the struggles we face as adults—low self-worth, people-pleasing, fear of abandonment, difficulty setting boundaries, emotional overwhelm, or feeling disconnected from ourselves—often have roots in our earliest experiences.

That is why I wrote Trauma Through The Inner Child's Eyes.

This book is a psychological and spiritual guide designed to help you understand how childhood wounds continue to shape your life, relationships, and emotional wellbeing—and, most importantly, how to begin healing them.

Inside, you'll discover:
✨ How childhood trauma affects adult life
✨ The connection between your inner child and emotional patterns
✨ Practical tools for healing and self-discovery
✨ A compassionate path towards freedom, self-love, and transformation

You don't have to keep carrying the weight of your past.

Healing is possible.
Growth is possible.
A different future is possible.

đź“– Trauma Through The Inner Child's Eyes is available now on Amazon or through the link in my bio.

If you've already read it, I'd love to hear what resonated with you most. ❤️

03/06/2026

Class 6 on skool is now available! This is such a powerful class...

If you want to join the whole course for free join me on skool.

Link in bio

Enjoy!

Sylwia 🤍





Your inner child doesn't see your wrinkles, failures, unfinished tasks, or all the ways you think you've fallen short.It...
02/06/2026

Your inner child doesn't see your wrinkles, failures, unfinished tasks, or all the ways you think you've fallen short.

It remembers the dreams.

The dreams of having your own home.
Making your own decisions.
Buying what you need without asking for permission.
Living life on your own terms.

As adults, we often measure ourselves against impossible standards. We compare ourselves to others, focus on what we haven't achieved yet, and forget how far we've come.

But if the younger version of you could see you today, would they really be disappointed?

Or would they see someone brave enough to keep going despite setbacks?
Someone who survived things they never imagined they could survive?
Someone who became independent, resilient, and capable?

Your inner child isn't keeping score of your mistakes.

It sees the person it admired.
The person it spent its entire childhood hoping to become.

Maybe today, instead of judging yourself through the eyes of your inner critic, try seeing yourself through the eyes of your inner child.

You might discover a little more compassion.
And a lot more pride.




01/06/2026

If you grew up feeling unseen, dismissed, or emotionally misunderstood, those experiences don't simply disappear when you become an adult.

You may find yourself constantly seeking approval, overthinking every interaction, assuming rejection before it happens, or feeling like an outsider even when you're surrounded by people who care about you.

These patterns are often not signs of weakness—they are adaptations. Ways your nervous system learned to protect you when being seen, heard, or valued didn't feel safe or consistent.

Healing isn't about becoming someone else. It's about recognizing these old survival strategies with compassion and gradually learning that your feelings, needs, and presence matter.

The child who felt unseen deserved to be noticed. The adult you are today deserves that too.

đź’›

25/05/2026

What a therapist notices is often not what is being said, but what happens around the words.

The breath that suddenly stops when a parent is mentioned. The smile that appears while describing something painful. The apology for having feelings. The way someone talks about their life as if they are reading a report instead of telling their own story.

These small moments are rarely random. They can be traces of old adaptations—ways of coping that once helped us survive difficult relationships, emotional neglect, criticism, rejection, or environments where certain feelings were not welcome.

A therapist is listening to your words, but also to your pauses, your body language, your tone of voice, your nervous laughter, and the emotions that seem just out of reach. Not to judge or analyze you, but to understand the story beneath the story.

Healing often begins when we become curious about these patterns instead of automatically repeating them. Because what feels like "just the way I am" is sometimes a protective strategy that no longer serves us.

The goal isn't to become someone else. It's to reconnect with the parts of yourself that had to be hidden, silenced, or protected for a very long time.

14/05/2026

✨ Week 5 – Reflection Questions

This week, we explore something many people carry…
but rarely speak about openly.

Shame.

Not just a feeling—
but a way of seeing yourself.

Take a moment and reflect:

– When do I feel “not enough” or “too much”?
– In what situations do I feel small, exposed, or judged?
– What do I tell myself in those moments?
(e.g. “There’s something wrong with me”)

– Do I hide parts of myself from others? Which parts?
– Do I struggle to receive compliments, care, or attention?

Go deeper:

– What was I made to feel ashamed of growing up?
– How did others respond to my emotions, needs, or expression?
– When did I first feel that who I am is not acceptable?

Notice your patterns:

– Do I people-please to avoid rejection?
– Do I withdraw or shut down when I feel exposed?
– Do I overcompensate through perfectionism or control?

And gently ask yourself:
👉 Am I reacting to reality… or to an old feeling of shame?

Join me on Skool for full 10-week course for Free.
Back to Self- from wounds to wisdom is where you heal and reconnect with your self.

Link in bio. 🤍

10/05/2026

She was the child everyone praised.
Quiet. Responsible. Helpful.
“Such a good girl.”
“Never any trouble.”
“Mature for her age.”

She learned very early that love was something you earned by being easy.
By not needing too much.
By not crying too loudly.
By achieving.
By adapting.
By taking care of everyone else before herself.

So she became hyper-aware of other people’s emotions.
She learned to read the room before speaking.
To apologise for taking up space.
To smile when she was hurting.
To abandon herself just to stay connected.

And the world rewarded her for it.

Good grades.
Praise.
Approval.
Validation.

But nobody noticed the anxiety underneath.
The exhaustion.
The people-pleasing.
The fear of disappointing others.
The shame she carried whenever she chose herself.

Now, as an adult, she sits in therapy trying to unlearn the survival patterns that once kept her safe.

Because being the “good girl” often means:
• suppressing your emotions
• ignoring your needs
• over-functioning for others
• struggling with boundaries
• feeling guilty for resting
• attaching your worth to performance and approval

Healing is not becoming selfish.
Healing is finally learning that your needs matter, too.

In my FREE 10-week course, you will learn:
✨ How trauma shapes the nervous system
✨ Why people-pleasing and perfectionism develop
✨ How chronic shame impacts adult relationships
✨ How to regulate your nervous system safely
✨ How to reconnect with your authentic self and boundaries

You do not have to spend your whole life performing goodness just to deserve love.

Join me on Skool for deeper healing, psychoeducation, and support.
Link in bio.

Your therapist,
Sylwia

Address

Limerick

Telephone

+353873426977

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