10/08/2026
Whilst sitting in a tropical paradise, the temptation to write a bu****it motivational social media post that relates to nobody in the real world is strong. 🤦♂️😆
But reading this book, preparing future courses, and looking at where I am now compared with where I’ve come from has been a useful reality check.
Compassion isn’t simply being nice. It is noticing suffering...in ourselves or others...and having the intention to help relieve or prevent it.
In Compassion Focused Therapy, compassion flows in three directions: from us to others, from others to us, and from us towards ourselves.
If we’re honest, the last two can be difficult. How comfortable are we receiving compassion when we’re struggling? How easily do we offer that same understanding to ourselves?
I’ve lived through extreme adventure, danger, trauma, loss, and witnessed suffering in others. Studying compassion has reinforced something simple to me: suffering isn’t a failure of life. It is part of being human. Yet we often hide it, deny it or feel ashamed of it.
We are a deeply social species. However separate our lives may look, none of us gets through life without fear, loss, insecurity or pain.
So look at the people around you – family, friends, strangers, and even yourself – and remember that each may be carrying something you know nothing about.
You do not have to fix them.
Sometimes compassion begins with recognising suffering and genuinely wishing that it might ease. If there is something useful you can do, do it. If not, then simply generate the loving intention.
Imagine if we all did this for everyone. Imagine everyone doing this for you.
And this isn’t just sentiment. Research suggests that compassion and self-compassion training can improve psychological wellbeing, support healthier behaviour and some aspects of physical health, and increase prosocial behaviour. This is the helping and cooperation that strengthens human connection.
Compassion isn’t softness at all. Compassion is one of the more courageous ways of meeting our reality.