05/06/2026
I've come to realise that the word "resilient" doesn't sit well with me. I'm totally triggered by it these last few years.
It's often used as a compliment, but increasingly I find myself questioning what we really mean when we ask people to be resilient.
It can sometimes sound as though the responsibility is on the individual to withstand unhealthy circumstances rather than on society to create conditions that support wellbeing.
Too often, resilience seems to imply that we should endure more, tolerate more, adapt more, carry more, and somehow continue functioning regardless of what life places upon us.
But should healing really be about becoming better at carrying an unbearable load?
What if the goal isn't to become stronger in the face of chronic stress, grief, trauma, overwhelm, or exhaustion?
What if being in wellness or balance is about creating enough safety, support, connection, rest, and nourishment that we no longer have to carry the load in the same way?
I don't believe we should have to spend our lives learning how to withstand increasingly difficult circumstances or trauma's. I believe we deserve communities, relationships, workplaces, and systems that support our wellbeing in the first place.
For me, healing is not about becoming harder to break.
It's about becoming safe enough to soften.
Not about enduring more.
But about needing to endure less.
Not about surviving,
But about opening.
And perhaps that is where true healing begins.
Peony filmed
by
Music Kevin MacLeod
