12/09/2024
Have you ever thought that self-sabotage might actually be a way of protecting yourself?
Think about it. You’ve worked hard, everything’s lining up perfectly, and then—*boom*—it all falls apart. You’re aiming for that promotion, but right before it happens, your performance dips, or you suddenly fall ill.
Maybe you finally get the opportunity to start your dream business, but right before you launch, you hesitate and second-guess yourself into backing out.
You’ve been struggling financially for years, and now you’re finally earning well, but out of nowhere, unexpected expenses arise. Before you know it, you’re back to minimum savings, fighting to stay afloat. Or you’re in a healthy relationship, but instead of embracing it, you find yourself picking fights or hyper-focusing on the small flaws and you get insecure, call the relationship off. Sound familiar?
What if I told you that this is your subconscious mind trying to protect you?
Let’s dive deeper.
Self-sabotage is often a defense mechanism created by our subconscious. For those who’ve experienced childhood trauma—whether physical, emotional, or mental—it’s common to grow up believing that something is wrong with you. Thoughts like, *"I’m not enough," or "I don’t deserve this," “I am a failure”, “ I cant do anything right”, “my karmas are bad”, “I am cursed”* are planted early on and shape how you interact with the world as an adult.
Right now, you might be thinking, *But I know I deserve it—I’ve worked for this!* And consciously, you probably do believe that. But your subconscious—the part of you shaped by those childhood experiences—might still be running the show.
It’s that younger version of you that feels unsafe with anything unfamiliar, and it will sabotage progress to keep you in the "safe zone."
When you’ve been through trauma, uncertainty becomes a threat. That’s why, even when things are going well, your subconscious steps in to protect you from potential hurt or failure. In most cases unfamiliarity with success, appreciation and happiness.
Here’s the thing: your subconscious doesn’t distinguish between pain and growth. It just wants to keep you safe. Healing from within means confronting those old beliefs, healing those traumatic pain and rewriting the story you’ve been telling yourself.
Growth will happen, but it’s up to you whether it happens with ease or pain. Do you choose to thrive or just survive?
Your psychotherapist
Jaanvi Tourani
