Sneh Counselling & Medicare

10/02/2021

Why are we never able to really get over the grief caused by the loss of a loved one? Maybe this analogy can explain it well

07/02/2021

One of the things that I have learned in years of marital counselling is that relatives play a major role in the (un)happiness quotient of a marriage in the Indian context.

A sensible person should slot all relatives and friends from both sides into two categories- those who are the essential vitamins for the marriage and those who are the toxins. Take frequent doses of the vitamins and be politely firm with the ones who are the toxins.

And his does not mean that you label all your relatives as vitamins and you spouse's relatives as toxins... This is a colossal mistake I see people making all the time. Be honest, be fair and be judicious.

I have seen many women being absolutely mean and horrible to their mothers in law only because they have this misperceived notion that mothers in law are supposed to be noxious, even though, in reality the senior lady might be actually be a vitamin for the marriage but she is discarded in the bin due to some stereotypes. Pseudo feminists are free to lynch me for my convictions but I choose to stand by them.

On the other hand, I have seen many men with misplaced notions of "khaandaan and biradari and outdated patriarchy being nasty and indifferent to their wife's family because according to his waped logic, she has married into "his" family, now both she and he have a responsibility only towards 'his " side of the family. These stupid notions are not even worthy of discussion. And of course, it is the turn of the chauvinists to lynch me.

This post is not addressed to either of the above sets of people, but to those fair souls who I would like to call the equalists. Those who can comprehend that their spouse's happiness is as central to the health of their marriage as their own is. Generally speaking, insecure people act as toxins and the secure ones are vitamins. though there is no given rule to tell you with certainty. If you are objective enough, you can easily decipher who gets slotted in which category.

Thumbrule for a happy marriage is: Spend more quality time with the vitamins and be wary of the toxins. Develop the ability to include your spouse's family when you think of the term "family"

28/12/2020

Po*******hy is destroying the brain:
_______________________________________
Science and research are proving that p**n harms the brain, damages relationships, and is also linked to prostitution and s*x trafficking. P**n is a fantasy that is proven to make it harder for users to have real loving relationships. In real life, real love requires a real person. Research has found that after being exposed to p**n, people were more critical of their partner’s appearance and displays of affection. Research has also found that after individuals are exposed to p**nography, they rate themselves as less in love with their partner than those who didn’t view p**n. Frequent p**n use is even associated with feeling cynical about love in general, having less trust in romantic partners, and feeling like relationships are confining.

Bottom line: a p**n habit can take a serious toll on a person’s ability to offer real, unselfish, meaningful love. With all this new information, it is time for society to accept that p**nography is harmful. Science and research are proving that p**n harms the brain, damages relationships, and negatively affects society as a whole.

P**N CHANGES THE BRAIN
Just like drugs and other addictive substances, p**n floods the brain with chemicals, like dopamine. Over time, the brain gets overwhelmed by the constant overload of chemicals and starts to build up a dependency to p**nography. As a result, the p**n they were looking at in the beginning doesn’t seem as exciting, and many p**n users go hunting for more p**n or more hardcore p**n to get the same rush. Eventually, the chemical release from regular healthy activities aren’t strong enough to register. This leaves the user feeling down or uneasy whenever they go for a while without watching p**n.

P**N ADDICTION GETS WORSE & WORSE
The brain releases chemicals when it sees som**hing shocking or surprising. That’s why frequent p**n users often find themselves looking for more hardcore material. Also, because they’ve built up such a high tolerance to the p**n they’ve been watching, many have to combine s*xual arousal with the feelings of aggression. That’s why so much of hardcore p**n is full of violence against women. In a 2012 survey of 1,500 guys, 56% said their tastes in p**n had become “increasingly extreme or deviant.” Frequent p**n users’ brains quickly get used to the p**n they’ve already seen, so they have to move on to more extreme forms of p**n to get aroused.

P**N IS ADDICTIVE, LIKE A DRUG
Inside the human brain, there’s som**hing called the “reward pathway.” Its job is to reward you when you do som**hing that feels good by releasing pleasure chemicals. The problem is, the reward pathway can be hijacked. The way that substances like co***ne and m**h make users feel high is by forcing the reward pathway to release high levels of chemicals, p**n does the exact same thing. The surge of chemicals pulsing through the brain creates new brain pathways that will lead the p**n user back to the behavior that triggers the chemical release. The more the user watches p**n, the deeper those pathways are wired into the brain.

P**N KILLS LOVE
In real life, real love requires a real person. Research has found that after men are exposed to p**nography, they rate themselves as less in love with their partner than men who didn’t see any p**n. On top of that, another study found that after being exposed to p**nographic images, people were more critical of their partner’s appearance, s*xual curiosity, s*xual performance, and displays of affection.

P**N RUINS YOUR S*X LIFE
P**n promises a virtual world filled with endless s*x but what it doesn’t mention is that the further a user goes into that fantasy world, the more likely their reality is to become just the opposite. In one of the biggest studies on p**n use ever conducted, researchers found that after being exposed to softcore p**n, both men and women were significantly less happy with their partner’s looks, willingness to try new s*x acts, and s*xual performance. P**n users kill their ability to perform s*xually in real life by conditioning their brain to get aroused by sitting alone in front of a computer rather than being with an actual person.

Neuroplasticity is a double-edged sword in this regard if it is the cause of p**nography addiction, but also through which the brain can also be restarted by stopping watching p**nography for a period of not less than three months during which the brain can restore the structure and excrete dopamine in a way natural

Sources:
Psychology Today
Addiction Research Website
📙 YOUR BRAIN ON P**N. Internet Po*******hy and the Emerging Science of Addiction by Gary Wilson

______________________________
Psychologist: Mostafa Kamel

16/12/2020

12/12/2020

https://www.cnbc.com/2020/12/08/harvard-psychologist-rules-for-raising-intelligent-kids-with-resilient-brains.html?utm_content=Main&utm_medium=Social&utm_source=Facebook =1607445424

A child's brain isn't a miniature adult brain. It's a brain born under construction that wires itself to the world—and parents must to create an environment that's rich with wiring instructions.

28/11/2020

RUN THE DISHWASHER TWICE.

"When I was at one of my lowest (mental) points in life, I couldn’t get out of bed some days. I had no energy or motivation and was barely getting by.

I had therapy once per week, and on this particular week I didn’t have much to ‘bring’ to the session. He asked how my week was and I really had nothing to say.

“What are you struggling with?” he asked.

I gestured around me and said “I dunno man. Life.”

Not satisfied with my answer, he said “No, what exactly are you worried about right now? What feels overwhelming? When you go home after this session, what issue will be staring at you?”

I knew the answer, but it was so ridiculous that I didn’t want to say it.

I wanted to have som**hing more substantial.
Som**hing more profound.
But I didn’t.

So I told him, "Honestly? The dishes. It's stupid, I know, but the more I look at them the more I CAN’T do them because I’ll have to scrub them before I put them in the dishwasher, because the dishwasher sucks, and I just can’t stand and scrub the dishes.”

I felt like an idiot even saying it.

What kind of grown-ass woman is undone by a stack of dishes? There are people out there with *actual* problems, and I’m whining to my therapist about dishes?

But, my therapist nodded in understanding and then said:

“RUN THE DISHWASHER TWICE.”

I began to tell him that you’re not supposed to, but he stopped me.

“Why the hell aren’t you supposed to? If you don’t want to scrub the dishes and your dishwasher sucks, run it twice. Run it three times, who cares?! Rules do not exist, so stop giving yourself rules.”

It blew my mind in a way that I don’t think I can properly express.

That day, I went home and tossed my smelly dishes haphazardly into the dishwasher and ran it three times.

I felt like I had conquered a dragon.

The next day, I took a shower lying down.

A few days later, I folded my laundry and put it wherever the f**k they fit.

There were no longer arbitrary rules I had to follow, and it gave me the freedom to make accomplishments again.

Now that I’m in a healthier place, I rinse off my dishes and put them in the dishwasher properly. I shower standing up. I sort my laundry.

But, at a time when living was a struggle instead of a blessing, I learned an incredibly important lesson:

THERE ARE NO RULES.

RUN THE DISHWASHER TWICE!!!"

Author unknown

06/07/2020

https://youtu.be/WlknfVMI4zQ

04/03/2020

What a super little pic. 😊

10/11/2019

I think you’ve been there before. You learned everything about the narcissist, you know who the narcissist is, but the thing with narcissists is they have “lucky charms” that work for them and carry their dirty laundry while making sure no one sees that the king is naked. So, it is very hard t...