Healing Homescaping

02/06/2026

I have a little Indiana Jones in me. I always have.

There’s a part of me that dreams of navigating the jungle, exploring ancient dusty village alleyways, discovering a hidden temple in the lush foothills of a South American mountain, solving the mystery of a missing artifact from an Egyptian tomb.

I think a lot of my desire to adorn my home with jungly plants, rocks, stones, crystals, exotic seeds, branches and decor from around the world comes from that little fire inside to explore and wonder and be mystified. All of these things could be souvenirs from my adventures.

These fantasies are alive and well inside me.

Maybe someday I will have such adventures, but until then, they will live in me and on my shelves and walls.

31/05/2026

The audacity of a woman resting.

The culture relies on women to carry it; capitalism would collapse if women lived in their worth and integrity. If we listened to our bodies over the demands on them.

Our ability to rest is foundational for our healing and self awareness, self worth, truth and freedom.

The culture will make you believe that rest is something you must earn. How often do you actually observe women resting? Try taking a few minutes to rest during your workday. It would be frowned upon at the very least. We are trained to honor our work, producing, at the expense of our bodies’ wisdom.

Rest for women is something we must work towards and be worthy of. And then, we can buy rest at a spa or on a vacation, or products that promise self care and healing because it can’t be built into our daily lives- it is something outside of us to be attained.

I truly believe, and it has been my experience, that the more I rest, the more I come into the truth of who I am and what I want. In the stillness and quiet, we women come into our own wisdom and worth, and power.

We generate so much wealth and abundance for the world around us. If we start to honor our bodies and rest we generate wealth and abundance four ourselves.

The ability to rest starts with the belief that it is not only possible, but necessary and unconditional, and nonnegotiable.

If you are a white woman, with the built in privilege that brings, it is more justifiable to rest that it is for women of color. We do not carry the exhausting burden, the extra weight of moving through the world in a black or brown body. Hold this awareness and look for opportunities to magnify the lives, the struggles, the voices and the creations of women of color.

Rest is for all women.

30/05/2026

Your skin will get loose! It is not possible to live on the Earth, held by gravity, nourished by the warm sun, and living decades of life; the joy, the heartache, the everyday of it, without proof of it.

29/05/2026

When you see it, don’t walk past it. It’s a moment to forget everything, to let the world spin and fall around you. It’s ok to join and explore and wonder at the moment you are in.

Get in there and you’ll remember.

26/05/2026

It’s fleeting.

In this dark and vast universe there is this moment.

25/05/2026

The sun is shining, the birds are chatting and singing, and the garden beds are finally ready for planting, but I can’t go outside yet because I’m not done taking in the beautiful morning light inside.

20/05/2026

Do you dress to impress?

I do! Sometimes.

When I was nine or ten years old I dressed for myself, usually in something my mom had made for me. She sewed a lot of our clothes. And I always felt so special wearing those purple nickers, corduroy pants, patterned turtlenecks.

In sixth grade I became aware of the culture, and understood that to be in the culture, stripped jeans (yes), Jordache, Lee jeans, and pastel collar shirts were prized.

From there, it was just all about dressing to fit in and be just like everyone else.

In high school I not only dressed for the culture, but for the boys. I dressed for the “male gaze” which was very important, because as a young woman, it was made very clear that male attention and being chosen by a male was the measure of our value.

In my twenties, I fell into severe and debilitating depression and anxiety, and those years I did not want attention, I wanted to be invisible, so I wore baggy jeans and oversized sweaters.

My thirties were my mothering years, and I dressed for COMFORT only. I wore nothing that couldn’t get dirty, muddy, stained, torn, etc.

I divorced my husband in my early forties and and had been working as a paralegal, so I put a lot of effort into dressing professionally, but in step with cultural fads, and also making sure to wear clothes that highlighted my more feminine attributes as I was interested in attracting a partner.

I’m now in my early fifties and am craving a return to myself. To wear what just feels like me and how I want to express my inner essence. I do sometimes dress to not be seen or noticed, and I do sometimes dress to feel desirable, but mostly now I want to feel as good and true and free as I did when I was ten years old.

That girl, running wild outside, creating countless imaginary worlds and characters before the world issued its expectations of who she needed to be.

That is the girl I dress to impress.

19/05/2026

I’m just behind on everything.

I’m removing the grass from my front yard for a vegetable garden. I’ve been chipping away at this for weeks now, and I’m making progress, but in the meantime my backyard is a complete jungle overgrown with weeds and tall grass. My side yard is, in a word, no.

I always truly believe that I will make significant strides once the weekend comes, but that has not been the case.

And there is plenty to keep up with inside the house too.

I need to wax my legs because I’m turning into a beast down there.

Food prep. Laundry.

Well, I’m pleased to report that none of this got done.

Here’s what did get done:

A walk through my neighborhood
Oil change
Wine night with two of my dearest mama friends
Dinner with my sister and my kids that started with a birthday celebration, got intense with discourse about the state of the world- tears were shed, and ended with a percussion jam and laughter
Long and meditative coffee mornings filled with visions of the garden
Cat love
A culturally unacceptable and shameful 3 hour nap
Some dishes
Literally wandering and daydreaming around the house

You get the idea.

As much as I am still drawn to this idea of great productivity on the weekend, I also am reminded that I have a body and a soul that may require other things, actually.

I come back to the privilege it is to own a home, have a yard, have a reliable vehicle, have food in the fridge, have a healthy body, have deep connections with friends and family and a curious soul. To live alone, as a woman in this world. To be white, and not carry the daily weight of living in this country as a person of color. Seriously.

All else that stems from this life of privilege is nothing but a lovely dream.

It’s ok to listen to the wisdom of your body, and to move towards what feels good and true. Even if it means a summer with hairy legs.

17/05/2026

My former husband used to laugh at me when I would idealize becoming an old woman- because I have always envisioned my old self as a better version of my younger self.

“You just want to be an old lady,” he mocked.

It’s true, I do want to be an old lady, and as I said in a recent post, I believe it to be a great privilege to grow old.

I’ve been thinking about why I’ve always felt so drawn to the idea of that part of life.

I think it’s that old age is a truth that cannot be disguised. Sure, women with resources can have procedures to cover up the effects of aging, and that is just fine. We are not all on the same journey.

When we’re younger, we have the ability to hide so much of who we really are and what we really look like. I don’t like to admit it, but I do that all the time.

We learn how to cover up our imperfections or rather qualities that are less culturally desirable.

But when you are very old, there is no more hiding from what is true. I find so much comfort in this. As Billy Joel once sang, “everyone is so untrue.”

In old age, finally, finally, we become true because it is obvious; our frailty, our wrinkles, our slowing, our forgetting.

How free, to shed all of the pretending and performing. To sink into the truth and certainty and knowing of a human body that has lived a lifetime. If we’re very lucky.

16/05/2026