03/10/2026
Nobody asks how the giver is doing. They just hope you're doing well enough to come through for them.
They like it when you are the strong one. The reliable one. The one who always finds a way.
And when you introduce self-care and boundaries, they dislike you because you've stopped being their charity.
Sometimes you should allow yourself to be the needy one. Not as a game or a manipulation, but simply by allowing people to see that you're also human. Not superhuman.
You will discover who loves you in truth and who only loves the way you are reliable for them.
People forget that even the strong one needs support from time to time.
The person who is always carrying everyone eventually needs someone to carry them.
The person who always has answers sometimes needs someone to sit with them while they figure things out.
One-sided relationships will eventually drain you, however generous you are.
And when the tables turn and you are the one in need of support, keep your eyes open.
The ones who ate daily at your table will often be the last to show up.
Yet not everyone who disappears is malicious. Some people's paths are simply diverging from yours.
Life changes. People relocate. Families grow.
Some relationships naturally become less central, and you have to learn to accept that with grace.
Some people are not bad. Their part in your story has simply come to an end.
But there is another kind of person you need to watch carefully.
The one who knows how to find you when they need something but suddenly becomes unavailable when you need them.
The one who can tell you every problem they are facing but has no time to hear yours.
The one who receives your calls, money, advice, connections, and emotional support but disappears when you are the one going through a difficult season.
That's not a friend but a parasite.
So stop measuring relationships by how many people come to you when they need something.
Watch who comes looking for you when they have nothing to gain.
Watch who notices when your voice changes. When you've not been yourself lately.
Losing some people is not a loss but a relief.
Do not spend your whole life being a refuge for everyone while having nowhere to rest yourself.
(©️ Benjamin Zulu Global)
