10/10/2025
#7 It turned out that beside the monastery grows the only rudraksha forest in the Western world - one hundred and eight trees, planted by Gurudeva himself here on the island in 1978. Until then, I had known nothing about the seeds of these trees, which in the Hindu tradition are held as sacred - the very embodiment of Shiva, said to have sprung from his tear that fell to the earth upon seeing the world of humankind.
The rudrakshas touched me deeply. I felt not that I had discovered them, but that they had found me. We returned to the monastery three times, each visit revealing something new - a small object from the tiny shop, a quiet moment of meditation beneath the trees - each encounter opening a new layer within.
Gradually, I began to feel within me a powerful pull toward what seemed to be the opposite side of the world, as we in Europe imagine its two halves. I was being called by the East - by Mount Kailash, Shiva’s dwelling place.
In preparing for this symbolic journey of my fortieth year, I found myself looking back over the past decade, tracing how my soul had moved through this earthly life - seeking connection with my personality, reaching out to me through dreams, shaping external events, awakening sensations in my body, stirring the storms of Eros and Thanatos within my relationships.
What draws me toward the East is the Arcanum of Acceptance. I feel its presence clearly - both within the collective and in my own inner life. In the drawing I have begun, it appears as a cosmic human seated in the lotus posture, immersed in his inner world, open through all the sacred centers of energy. A being suspended between heaven and earth - seated, or perhaps floating, upon the surface of water, within which his shadow body and two entwined serpents are reflected.
This is the human as a channel - one who has fully accepted and united his own duality.
