LidiaBabenko

12/07/2023

Trauma affects the entire subsequent life of a person. We are very resilient and enduring, so we often suffer the consequences much deeper and longer than we think.

Why do we often overlook the impact of trauma?
It affects the functioning of the brain and psyche and changes the map of our lives.

How is this?
Imagine being born given a map of all your life, as a locality, and you saw places to go, different directions, detours. Have you figured out which areas are difficult, which are dangerous, which are impossible to cross alone, and which are pleasant and even places.

Imagine trauma erasing the whole card and replacing it with another label.
Where there are pleasant places, he draws gorges, and impassable forests, and where dangers - roads.
Life starts to look confusing, and it seems that there are no chances of reaching the destination.

After the trauma, a person begins to use a broken map, often sees only obstacles and does not make an attempt to overcome certain sections on the path of life. He avoids pleasures and pleasant life oases. , although most of these obstacles are unrealistic.

How to get back the real map of life?
What is an injury, how to deal with it, is there a chance to recover from it, and how to heal from its effects can be figured out in the therapy process.

Yeah and you can run.
And it won't get any worse :)
Give it a call!

Lydia Babenko, MD, ND, naturopath and psychotherapist.
32 years of professional experience.
Appointment - WhatsApp +356 99469922

12/07/2023

HOW TO FIND LOVE? I WILL FIND MYSELF !

You probably also faced that situation where hope appears, here's the look you seek, the words you dreamed of, here it is... happiness. And suddenly, in a week or even a year, it disappears without a trace, and inside it is covered with regret and sadness - a miss again! How many tries did you take to find your love?

Those who poorly imagine what they want end up in such a situation. To be clearer, let's move to the nearest mall. Have you ever looked at it for no particular purpose and just wandered around, well, maybe even bought something. Remember how much time you waste if you don't know what you want. Even if they bought something, it turned out not what they wanted, but what they wanted they did not understand. No money, no power, no moods.
People do about the same with their lives. They spend years looking for something they cannot imagine. If we talk about the pursuit of love, ask yourself right now how you imagine it. Most likely, you’ll have a glance: “No way! » The consciousness then leaves generally accepted demands: a strong shoulder, honesty, faithfulness, reliability and a dozen other similar characteristics. But where are you in all this? The "generous" may turn out to be "clueless", and you will be more annoyed by his way of throwing everything around the house. "Decent" can be "lazy" to drive you furious as a workaholic, and a "strong shoulder" will pull your muscles and tear your wounded soul with betrayal.

In order to find your love, you need to imagine very well what is important to you personally. Usually, from a large list of desirable characteristics, people select 1-2 of the most important to them. For example, let him not be rich and generous, but faithful and economic; let him be sloppy, capricious, but at least bright and respected by all. This is what a lucky or unlucky choice is based on. You know yourself poorly - you are missing out. Focus well - you get what you want. If you are honest with yourself, you can easily figure out a couple of needs that are crucial for you.
For example, a successful and advanced man in front of you, his natural habit is to give his loved ones all kinds of technical innovations and new experiences. You love technical innovations and new experiences, it happily fits into your life. After a day's work, he desperately needs tenderness, dreams of seeing a beautiful s*xy wife in front of him. It's easy for you to provide him with that kind of atmosphere. Thorough self-care is natural for you. Do you also like hugging, kissing and getting a relaxing massage. Deep affection, love only happens when both find something very important in each other and give that "important" naturally without tension.

So that your search for love does not drag on, start with yourself. Determine what you look for in a relationship:

Unconditional Acceptance. You cannot change, you are willing to receive enthusiastic glances and adoration. An important condition: you must be loved always, in any form, with any habits. No strings attached ! U r a star! Well that says it all.

Worries. You want comfort - both mental and physical. It is important for you to be taken care of, create certain living conditions, and when you are sad, hold your hand or hug.

Protection. You dream to be sheltered from the imperfections of this world. Where needed - they sorted it out, put it on guard. Someone will be reassured by materially reinforced protection - a decent bank account, or a physical - "strong shoulder".

The passions. You’re emotional, temperamental and can’t imagine a relationship without “Mexican passion”. S*x comes first, everything else will wait or it will fall into place somehow.

Generosity. Do you like it when you are pampered, surprises are arranged - the more expensive, the better. Are you sure that the price of a gift determines your attitude.

A boost in self esteem. You want to be proud of your chosen one. It is important who he is, how he looks, how he is treated in society. To feel that you are a part of his life is a great happiness for you and ... nice to tickle the ego.

Allow yourself to be yourself! For some, your habit of "singing in the morning" and "watching cartoons at night" will be a long-awaited success. The more fakes and unnatural things in your behavior, the longer and harder you will have to organize your private life.
When you know what you want and understand what you can give, life becomes much easier. The probability of missing decreases by multiples. You no longer waste your time on empty relationships, you relax, you acquire your own special charm. Besides formulating your desire to meet someone with specific characteristics, your unconsciousness is actively involved in the implementation of your plans. And this means that very soon your heart will stumble and you will finally recognize your beloved and dearest person in the crowd. Pavel Kolesov

08/07/2023

I can help you heal… https://rb.gy/5qilg

It was never you that was not enough.

No.

This "not enoughness" was an intelligent mechanism in a young, undeveloped psyche that came online to protect you as a response to NOT ENOUGH CARE in the environment.

To admit that the love of a parent, the provision of a caretaker or the nourishment and holding of an environment was not enough would have been devastating for a tiny, developing nervous system to process.

This adaptation allowed you to figure out how to get your needs met by matching those around you...unfortunately at the expense of disconnecting from vital aspects of your essence.

The running mythic narrative of "not enough" in the background of the psyche is a reaction to a lack of love and care in our lives that became an identity.

The lack of care was internalized and identified with as one's own lack.

But...

It was not true,
it is not true
and it will never be true.

"Not enough" is what kept you safe and adaptable.

"Not enough" might even be what kept you alive.

We have forgotten that at some point most of our ancestors had to cut themselves off from the roots of their essential nature in order to survive war, illness, massive upheavals and sociocultural changes evolving us into a world of manufactured lack in order to produce MORE and flourish LESS.

We have been loyal to this suffering as a form of love for way too long.

There will never be enough we can produce to win the mythic enoughness game.
There will never be enough we can do to escape ourselves.
There will never be enough positive affirmations, workshops or spiritual hacks.
There will never be enough ways to dumb down or numb out.
There will never be enough searching or swiping.
There will never be enough validation.
There will never be enough we can buy.
There will never be enough excuses.
There will never be enough healing.

There will never be enough of anything in a world of manufactured scarcity that will make up for, fill the void or finally give us that deep satisfaction of resting deeply in the sense of real love that is our essence.

A world based in lack will never be enough for us.

It will never provide us with the resources we need, the holding required, the nourishment that is our birthright, the nurturing that is natural or the love that is our design.

It will never want to release us from the ancestral vows and contracts we unconsciously made along the way that we must remain loyal to this suffering as a form of love, that we must suffer to grow and that enoughness is something we must manufacture.

It will never be enough because what can never be named or acknowledged is that this lack of love is hurting our collective hearts and harming the ecosystem of life on this planet.

It will never be enough because it has wiped grief out of the lexicon and left us feeling our humanity is flawed for feeling our feelings in the first place.

Grief.

The very thing that can heal us.

It is our grief that is love.
It is our grief that is aliveness.
It is our grief that yearns and knows and longs and cares.
It is our grief that will liberate us.
It is our grief that will pull us back into the truth of our own essence.
It is our grief that liberates our shame back into wholeness.
It is our grief that heals us.

It is grief that will set us free.

You were always, always, ALWAYS enough.

More love.
Not less.

~ Dr. Mia Hetényi: https://www.sacredalchemyhealing.com/

[Art: Mary Alayne Thomas]

04/07/2023

Going through perimenopause or menopause? Feeling depressed and thinking best days of your life are behind you? Not the case! Read on… even if you are a very special and rare man who cares and wants to understand his partner!

Women are increasingly discussing the forgetfulness, anxiety and suicidal thoughts they have experienced as their hormones change in midlife. Why is more help not available?

Changes in your hormones during menopause can impact your mental health as well as your physical health. You may experience feelings of anxiety, stress or even depression. Menopausal symptoms may include:
* anger and irritability
* anxiety
* forgetfulness
* loss of self-esteem
* loss of confidence
* low mood and feelings of sadness or depression
* poor concentration – often described as 'brain fog' and/or lost words

Many women experiencing menopause or perimenopause will experience problems with sleeping. Lack of sleep and tiredness can also make symptoms including irritability, ability to concentrate or anxiety worse.

Menopause has a variety of physical symptoms such as tiredness, night sweats, insomnia, hot flashes, memory loss and tension. During menopause, it’s common for menopause to impact mental health too. Symptoms include mood changes such as irritability, sadness, lack of motivation, aggressiveness, problems focusing, stress, difficulty concentrating, and depression. Much like constant premenstrual syndrome (PMS), these effects can cause emotional strain. If you have a pre-existing mental health problem, it’s possible that the effects of menopause could cause a relapse or change to your mental health.

Today, many younger women are experiencing Perimenopause … which means "around menopause" and refers to the time during which your body makes the natural transition to menopause, marking the end of the reproductive years. Perimenopause is also called the menopausal transition.

Women start perimenopause at different ages. You may notice signs of progression toward menopause, such as menstrual irregularity, sometime in your 40s. But some women notice changes as early as their mid-30s.

Some possible contributing factors for severe perimenopause symptoms include a higher body mass index (BMI), smoking, and alcohol consumption.
Scientists are still learning why some people experience worse symptoms than others. This information comes from a 2018 review.

In some women experience severe symptoms which may also be a sign that a person has a different health condition. For example, uterine fibroids may cause symptoms that overlap with perimenopause.

Perimenopause symptoms are severe when they affect a person’s ability to carry out daily tasks or when they significantly affect their mental health. A person may experience:
* night sweats
* hot flashes
* mood swings or irritability
* a low mood
* concentration problems
* less frequent periods that get increasinglyTrusted Source�far apart
* headaches
* vaginal dryness
* pain during s*x
* less interest in s*x
* heart palpitations
* insomnia
* fatigue
* joint or muscle pain
* urinary tract infections (UTIs)

For decades condescension, even from the medical sector, have kept women from asking certain questions twice.

If you are interested in learning more and living your best possible life, get in touch as we are planning a very interesting workshop to understand, what you can do (yes there are remedies no one tells you about!) to live an exciting and happy life to the full.

26/06/2023

The three stages of growing up

The first is a support to external rules. I am small and weak, and the world is big and complicated. More mature and experienced people tell me what rules should be lived by. I listen with an open mouth, I absorb, I try to comply, and I'm ashamed when I don't work. And so I learn to live in accordance with external morals.

The second one is the pillar of internal rules. I'm finding that some of the rules I swallowed don't work and is fundamentally ruining my life. Some of these are terribly unfair and toxic and some are just plain stupid. And then I begin to slowly digest them, to make amendments and changes. I'm gradually developing my own set of rules - inner morals - and learning to trust myself.

The third one is the pillar of reality. Based on myself and my own morals, I find that any rule is a huge simplification and limitation of the real picture. In most situations, there is no perfect "right answer" - there are only numerous "for" and "against", and I can choose. More precisely, I can find that I choose so in some situations, in others - edak, and there are no rules for that. I am learning to trust not only myself, but also the world I live in, where there were no universal rules, and there cannot be.
But damn sometimes I wish they were.

Andrei Yudin