18/05/2026
A man that rejects pre marital counseling, may not attend marriage counseling when the union is about to break. He will soon disrespect you after he feels he has had enough of you. Then, he abuses everyone that intervenes, he will tell you, no one can tell him how to run his home. He has worn guts, ego and pride.
The next thing is to beat his wife like a baby, at every provocation, he wants to push the wife out of the marriage, 'I will divorce you', is a common statement. Respect is lost in a marriage when your spouse fails to consistently value and consider your feelings.
Most women would love to save their marriages from breaking, they call direct family members to intervene, but most husbands will decline. They believe they enjoy the absolute power that no one can check. If these sisters decide to see marriage counselors, the husbands will refuse to show up. As a marriage counselor myself, I have attended to so many sisters who made move to prevent divorce from happening, but these men will refuse to show up.
I have attended court proceedings where the men would refuse to come, if anyone wants to know if divorce is high, the courts are places you need to visit. Perhaps, this will help you to make informed decisions on the selection of partners, nothing is wrong with marriage, the brother or sister you eventually choose will determine the outcome.
When she's frustrated and tired, then she approaches to seek divorce, her husband will refuse to make appearance or even refuse to grant her, not because he is still interested, but he wants to punish her. As a brother or sister, do not marry people who tend to see themselves as above the process, they are always problematic. You are not just observing, most people do not value marriage, so be careful.
Obviously, there are men that believe they need to use violence to discipline their wives, or asserting that man beating his wife is a sign that he loves her, the other men think wives are like babies, one needs to correct them by using cane. The creed has it that women have rights over their husbands , just as their husbands have rights over them, so irrespective of her age, do not see your wife as baby or girl that can be ordered around like a maid.
We can understand that your wife is very stubborn and rude, but beating and embarrassing her frequently will not show maturity on your part. She is not a pupil or student that kneels down to serve punishment. If you are tired of the marriage, you do not need to maltreat or frustrate her out of the union, choose the pattern of honour to disestablish the marriage. You flog and strip your own niqabite sister naked, but you handle the microphone on Sunday Halqah, telling people to be kind to their wives, this is a conflicting attitude.
Our religion has encouraged us to be kind to people particularly our spouses, and any act that is targeted at making them depressed and worried should be avoided, if the union will not work again, go your separate ways with peace. Listening skills and learning from others will help a man, only if he knows.
Be part of the few good men we have around and encourage others to be good to their women too.
Always pay attention to details.
Abu Sheikh
