Love Clinic with Tope Abiara

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Love Clinic with Tope Abiara Marriage & Family Counselor

Relationship, Marital Issues, Relationship Advice, Love situations, Family matters, Children Upbringing, any and everything that has to do with family and love, I am here to help, as a professional relation expert, a Marriage & Family Counselor with over 17yrs experience.

Some marriages are entirely inward-facing. Just two people absorbed in their own comfort, their needs and what they cons...
06/09/2026

Some marriages are entirely inward-facing. Just two people absorbed in their own comfort, their needs and what they consider to be their grand story. And while the inner life of a marriage absolutely requires tending, a marriage that never looks beyond itself tends to slowly suffocate on its own smallness.

Ephesians 2:10 describes both individuals and, by extension, the households they build as handiwork, created for good works prepared in advance. Which means your marriage is not merely a personal arrangement. It is a vehicle for something beyond itself.

The couple that mentors younger couples is doing this. The family that opens their home consistently is doing this. The marriage that raises children to understand justice, generosity, and the love of God is doing this. The couple that prays together for their community, that gives consistently, that shows up for the people around them, is doing this.

A marriage with a shared mission does not drift in the same way that an inward-facing one does. There is too much at stake. Too much being built. Too many people whose lives are quietly shaped by the health and generosity of what that household produces.

Ask each other this month: what is our marriage for, beyond the two of us?

The answer to that question has the power to change everything. 🙏

There’s so much to be grateful for. Looking back, I can only say, “Thus far the Lord has helped us.” 🙏🏽September is alwa...
06/09/2026

There’s so much to be grateful for. Looking back, I can only say, “Thus far the Lord has helped us.” 🙏🏽

September is always a very special month for us. It’s a month filled with thanksgiving and celebration of God’s goodness to our family and ministry.

It’s my husband’s birthday month and our anniversary month. It is also a month that reminds us of my great Dad and my beautiful mom-in-love, whose passing we remember with love.

So, we are grateful for the years God has given us, joy for the milestones we get to celebrate, and remembrance of the beautiful lives and memories we will always cherish.

Through it all, God has remained faithful. And we will continue to give thanks.

Here’s to a September filled with gratitude, love, beautiful memories and many more reasons to say, “Thank You, Lord.”

Happy New Month! ❤️✨Welcome to September 🤍My prayer for you and your family this month: May God give you a breakthrough ...
01/09/2026

Happy New Month! ❤️✨

Welcome to September 🤍

My prayer for you and your family this month: May God give you a breakthrough that changes everything for good. 🙏

Love better, communicate honestly and never forget to protect your peace.

Thanking God for His grace & strength upon Daddy. Thank you to all who celebrated him last month for his birthday.

May September be good to you and your household in Jesus’ name. 🙏

Wishing you a beautiful and fulfilling month ahead. 🌹


Siblings’ rivalry - if you’ve never experienced or witnessed it, you wouldn’t believe how damaging it can be. Looking fo...
29/08/2026

Siblings’ rivalry - if you’ve never experienced or witnessed it, you wouldn’t believe how damaging it can be.

Looking forward to a wonderful time of discussion and teaching. 💙

This week's prescription requires no budget, no planning, and no grand gesture. It requires only attention and follow-th...
26/08/2026

This week's prescription requires no budget, no planning, and no grand gesture. It requires only attention and follow-through.

Identify one responsibility that your spouse carries almost entirely on their own, something that happens week after week without fanfare, that you have quietly benefited from without stepping in. And this week, you take it. Fully, without being asked, without a report on how you did it.

Perhaps it is school pickup. The weekly grocery run. Paying the bills. Managing a difficult extended family situation. The night routine with the children. The administrative load of the household that never appears on any list but somehow always gets done.

The act of stepping in communicates something words often fail to. It says: I see what you do. I know it costs you something. I am here. You do not have to carry this alone.

Do not announce it in advance. Do not expect applause afterward. Simply do it, fully and well, and notice what it does to the atmosphere between you.

Seen love is one of the most powerful currencies in a marriage. This week, spend some. 💛

Some marriages are currently in a wilderness. This is not because love has ended, nor because either person is flawed, b...
23/08/2026

Some marriages are currently in a wilderness. This is not because love has ended, nor because either person is flawed, but because life presented them with an unexpected challenge that neither of them had anticipated.

A job was lost. A diagnosis was given. A child is in crisis. Grief settled into the house and refuses to leave. The financial pressure is real and unrelenting. The dream they built together has crumbled, and neither of them is entirely sure what to build next or whether they still have the energy to build at all.

If this is your marriage right now, Isaiah 43:2 is for you.

Not necessarily the promise that the waters will be absent, nor the assurance that the fire will not feel hot. But the unwavering promise: I will be with you in it. You will not be swept away. You will not be consumed.

The wilderness season of a marriage, navigated together, does something to a couple that the comfortable seasons simply cannot. It reveals what you both are actually made of. It builds a depth of companionship that is forged, not merely felt. It produces the kind of trust that only comes from having walked through something and come out still holding each other.

Do not despise the hard season. Do not abandon each other inside it.

God is present with you in the wilderness. He has been there before you arrived. May your time of ease come now in Jesus’ name. 🙏

This week's prescription is an unusual one: sit down together and build a simple crisis plan for your marriage.Not becau...
19/08/2026

This week's prescription is an unusual one: sit down together and build a simple crisis plan for your marriage.

Not because crisis is inevitable in the worst sense, but because every marriage will face hard seasons, and the couples who navigate them best are the ones who decided in advance how they would behave when things got difficult.

Talk through these questions together: If we hit a financial emergency, what is our first step? If one of us is struggling with mental health, what does support look like? If we find ourselves deeply disconnected, what is the agreed first response — a date, a counselor, or a specific conversation? If grief or loss enters the home, how do we hold each other through it?

These conversations, held in a calm season, do something important. They communicate: I am thinking about our future together. I want us to be prepared. I am not assuming everything will always be easy, but I am committed to navigating the hard parts with you.

The couples most likely to survive crisis are not the strongest ones. They are the most prepared and the most honest.

Build the plan. You may never need it. But if you do, you will be glad you did. 💙

One of the most quietly painful and least discussed tensions in long-term marriage is mismatched desire. One spouse want...
17/08/2026

One of the most quietly painful and least discussed tensions in long-term marriage is mismatched desire. One spouse wants more physical intimacy. The other is content with less, or is so depleted by the season of life they are in that desire has moved to the furthest corner of their mind.

Neither person is wrong. And yet both people can end up feeling deeply alone in it: one feeling unwanted, the other feeling pressured or guilty for something they cannot seem to switch on.

Mismatched desire is not a sign that the marriage is broken or that one person is defective. It is an almost universal feature of long-term relationships, and it tends to shift across seasons: new parenthood, grief, health struggles, work stress, unresolved conflict, hormonal changes, medication - all of these affect desire profoundly and legitimately.

What matters is how you talk about it: the person with higher desire must resist framing their need as a demand. The person with lower desire must resist using distance as a permanent solution, without offering any pathway forward.

The conversation most couples avoid is the one that actually creates connection: What do you need to feel more at ease? What has been getting in the way? What would help us find each other again in this?

Intimacy follows safety. Safety is built in conversation. Start there. 💛

The subject of physical desire for married couples, is not well discussed in the church’s setting. This is mostly done t...
16/08/2026

The subject of physical desire for married couples, is not well discussed in the church’s setting. This is mostly done to guard against excess, but it has sometimes left couples feeling that desire itself is suspect, that wanting their spouse passionately is somehow incompatible with being deeply spiritual.

The Bible disagrees.

The book of the Song of Solomon exists in the canon of Scripture as a sustained, unapologetic celebration of desire between a husband and wife. It is tender and it is fierce. It is poetic and it is physical, and God put it there deliberately.

Desire in marriage is not something to be merely tolerated or minimized into a functional duty. It is unique, sacred, and reserved for the safety of marriage. Your desire for your spouse is not a distraction from your spirituality. Tended rightly, it is an expression of it.

If physical intimacy in your marriage has become infrequent, mechanical, or entirely absent, then it is worth attending to; not with shame or performance anxiety, but with honest conversation, compassion for where each of you actually is, and if needed, the support of a counselor who can help you navigate the layers underneath. Feel free to reach out via our DM. Please note that all interactions are conducted with professionalism, a non-judgmental attitude, and confidentiality.

What God made holy, do not call shameful. 🕊️

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This week's prescription requires you to slow down in a way that the digital age has almost entirely trained out of us.W...
12/08/2026

This week's prescription requires you to slow down in a way that the digital age has almost entirely trained out of us.

Write your spouse a letter, by hand if you can, on a paper, sealed, if you are feeling generous with the drama of it 😊.

A real letter! Not a birthday card with a few lines. Tell them something you have been thinking about them that you have not said. Describe a memory that you return to more than they know. Name something specific about who they are that you genuinely admire. Tell them where you see them growing. Tell them what it has meant to you to do this life alongside them.

The letter does something a conversation cannot always do. It gives your thoughts a form that can be held, reread and kept. It says: I sat down specifically to think about you, and these are the things that came. That act of deliberate attention is itself a profound expression of love.

In a marriage full of fast communication; the slow, considered letter is a radical act of intimacy.

Write it this week. Leave it somewhere they will find it. 💌

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Jogor Center, Liberty Road, Ibadan
Ibadan

Opening Hours

Monday 09:00 - 17:00
Tuesday 09:00 - 17:00
Wednesday 09:00 - 17:00
Thursday 09:00 - 17:00
Friday 09:00 - 17:00

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