Love Clinic with Tope Abiara

Love Clinic with Tope Abiara Marriage & Family Counselor

Relationship, Marital Issues, Relationship Advice, Love situations, Family matters, Children Upbringing, any and everything that has to do with family and love, I am here to help, as a professional relation expert, a Marriage & Family Counselor with over 17yrs experience.

This week's prescription requires you to slow down in a way that the digital age has almost entirely trained out of us.W...
12/08/2026

This week's prescription requires you to slow down in a way that the digital age has almost entirely trained out of us.

Write your spouse a letter, by hand if you can, on a paper, sealed, if you are feeling generous with the drama of it 😊.

A real letter! Not a birthday card with a few lines. Tell them something you have been thinking about them that you have not said. Describe a memory that you return to more than they know. Name something specific about who they are that you genuinely admire. Tell them where you see them growing. Tell them what it has meant to you to do this life alongside them.

The letter does something a conversation cannot always do. It gives your thoughts a form that can be held, reread and kept. It says: I sat down specifically to think about you, and these are the things that came. That act of deliberate attention is itself a profound expression of love.

In a marriage full of fast communication; the slow, considered letter is a radical act of intimacy.

Write it this week. Leave it somewhere they will find it. 💌

Nobody enters a marriage as a blank slate. Every person who stands at an altar arrives carrying something: childhood wou...
10/08/2026

Nobody enters a marriage as a blank slate. Every person who stands at an altar arrives carrying something: childhood wounds, disappointment from past relationships, beliefs about love formed in environments that may have been far from healthy, a template of what family looks and feels like, built from years of lived experience before they ever met their spouse.

Most of these arrive quietly and go unannounced. Then, usually under stress, it surfaces. The overreaction that confuses your spouse, the shutdown that has no clear cause, and the particular argument that keeps returning.

A lot of these are rarely just about the present moment, they are often the unhealed past walking into the current room.

This is not an excuse for harmful behavior, but understanding that your spouse’s reaction is partly influenced by a story that began long before you met can be transformative. Compassion becomes possible in the place where frustration was.

The work of healing your personal history is not separate from the work of building your marriage. It is foundational to it.

Consider therapy - reach out via DM. Read the book. Have the honest conversation. The version of you that does the inner work is the version your marriage has been waiting for. 💛

One of the most common reasons couples run dry in marriage is that they have been trying to give from an empty place.Wha...
09/08/2026

One of the most common reasons couples run dry in marriage is that they have been trying to give from an empty place.

What does it mean to run from an empty space? Of a certainty, you love your spouse, you serve your family, you show up for your children. However, beneath all this giving, is a person who has not spent enough time before God to be genuinely replenished. And here’s the thing: a person running on empty, regardless of their devotion, eventually has nothing left to give that is not tinged with resentment, exhaustion, or quiet depletion.

Ephesians 3 is a prayer for roots, for depth, for the kind of inner stability that comes not from willpower or spiritual performance but from being genuinely grounded in how wide, how long, how high, how deep the love of Jesus Christ actually is.

A spouse who knows they are deeply loved by God is a fundamentally different spouse. They do not demand from their spouse what only God can provide. They do not need constant reassurance because their sense of worth isn’t entirely dependent on the state of their marriage on any given day. They can love generously because they are being loved generously.

This is not a call to retreat from your marriage into private spirituality. It is a call to go deep enough in God that what overflows from you into your marriage is genuine, sustainable, and rooted in something that doesn’t run out.

Fill up before you pour out. 🙏

Wishing you a happy new week 💕

Daddy, thank you for laying a strong foundation of faith and for being a living example of what it means to serve God wh...
08/08/2026

Daddy, thank you for laying a strong foundation of faith and for being a living example of what it means to serve God wholeheartedly. We love and celebrate you Papa 💙

August holds the promise of beauty, favour, and abundant blessings for you and all that are yours. May this new month br...
01/08/2026

August holds the promise of beauty, favour, and abundant blessings for you and all that are yours. May this new month bring you divine opportunities, good health, unending joy, peace that surpasses understanding, and remarkable breakthroughs. The Lord will preserve, strengthen and surround you and your loved ones with His goodness all through the month and beyond.

Congratulations, and happy new month!

This is one of the hardest topics in marriage. And because it is hard, it is often avoided until someone is sitting in t...
29/07/2026

This is one of the hardest topics in marriage. And because it is hard, it is often avoided until someone is sitting in the wreckage of it.

Infidelity, whether emotional or physical, is one of the most destabilizing experiences a marriage can survive. And I used the word “survive” intentionally, because some marriages do. Not easily, not quickly, and not without significant work, but they do.

If you are the spouse who was betrayed, what you are feeling is valid. The anger, the grief, the disorientation of suddenly not knowing who the person you built your life with actually is. These are not overreactions. They are the appropriate response to a profound wound. Healing does not require you to minimize what happened.

If you are the spouse who caused the betrayal, the road back is longer than most people expect and shorter than most people fear. It requires complete transparency, consistent accountability, the willingness to sit in discomfort as your spouse processes what you did, and professional support. An apology, however sincere, is not a destination. It is a beginning.

Rebuilding after infidelity requires: professional marriage counselling without exception, individual therapy for both spouses, radical honesty even when honesty is painful, the dismantling of whatever conditions created the vulnerability, and a genuine decision by both people to rebuild rather than simply resume.

Some marriages are stronger on the other side of this. Not because what happened was acceptable, but because two people chose the hard, sacred work of healing over the easier path of either pretending or walking away.

Get professional help. Reach out to us today. This is not a territory to navigate alone. 💛

These words were written to a church that had lost its first love. But they carry a resonance that every long-term coupl...
26/07/2026

These words were written to a church that had lost its first love. But they carry a resonance that every long-term couple understands in their bones.

There is a particular kind of grief in realizing that what was once effortless now requires effort. That the warmth that once filled every interaction has cooled. That you are sharing a life but not quite sharing a connection. That somehow, without any single dramatic moment to point to, the spark has quietly dimmed.

Revelation 2:4-5 is startling in its directness: you have forsaken your first love. Not lost it. Not had it taken. Forsaken. The implication is that there were choices involved, gradual ones, made in busyness and distraction and the natural entropy of a life fully lived, but choices nonetheless.

And then the instruction: consider. Repent. Do the things you did at first.

This is not romantic nostalgia. It is practical wisdom. What did you do at first? You were curious about each other. You made time without being asked. You noticed small things and said so. You chose each other visibly and consistently.

You can do those things again. Not because the feelings have already returned but because action precedes feeling far more often than feeling precedes action.

Consider. Return. Do the things you did at first.

The spark is not gone. It may simply be waiting for someone to tend it. 🕯️🙏

This week's prescription is simple, slightly uncomfortable, and profoundly connecting: pray out loud for your spouse, in...
22/07/2026

This week's prescription is simple, slightly uncomfortable, and profoundly connecting: pray out loud for your spouse, in their presence.

Not a general prayer. A specific one - thank God for something particular about who they are. Bring before God something you know they are currently carrying. Ask for blessing, wisdom, and peace over something specific in their life.

There is something uniquely vulnerable about being prayed for by name, by the person who knows you most closely. It communicates things that ordinary conversation cannot: I see you. I am for you. I bring you before God not because I have to but because you matter to me that deeply.

Many couples pray individually, fewer pray together, and fewer still pray specifically and tenderly for each other out loud. That gap is where a great deal of spiritual and emotional intimacy is quietly waiting.

If it feels awkward, that is fine. Do it anyway. The awkwardness does not last. The connection it builds does.

This week, before the week ends, take your spouse's hand and pray for them out loud. Watch what it does to the atmosphere between you. 🙏

To the couples who have been married for decades, who have raised children and buried parents, who have survived financi...
20/07/2026

To the couples who have been married for decades, who have raised children and buried parents, who have survived financial crisis and health scares and seasons of distance and seasons of extraordinary closeness: this is for you.

There is a wisdom in a long marriage that simply cannot be rushed or manufactured. It is earned, slowly, through the accumulated decision across thousands of ordinary days to stay, to forgive, to choose again, to keep building even when the building felt thankless.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 speaks of two being better than one, not in the heady excitement of early love but in the practical, sustaining reality of two people who catch each other when one falls. In a long marriage, both partners know the weight of this verse from lived experience. They have each been the one who fell. They have each been the one who reached down.

If you are in a long marriage and the season feels dry, know that dryness is not death. Many of the deepest and most beautiful chapters of a long marriage come later, when the children have left, when the proving is done, when what remains is two people who have genuinely chosen each other for a very long time and are still here.

Find each other again. Rediscover. The person across from you carries decades of shared history, shared grief, shared joy. That is not ordinary.

That is one of the most extraordinary things on earth. 🙏💛

This week's prescription is as practical as it is connecting: cook one meal together, from scratch, with intention.Not a...
15/07/2026

This week's prescription is as practical as it is connecting: cook one meal together, from scratch, with intention.

Not a delivery order. Not reheating. A real meal, planned and prepared side by side.

Cooking together is one of the most underrated bonding experiences available to couples. It requires cooperation, communication, patience, and a shared goal. It puts you in the same physical space with a tangible, nourishing outcome. It is also, genuinely, one of the most sensory and enjoyable things two people can do together without spending much money.

Beyond the activity, there is something deeply caring about feeding each other well. Nutrition is not a peripheral concern in a healthy marriage. What you eat, how you eat, and whether you eat together shapes your energy, your mood, your health across the long arc of a life together.

Choose a recipe neither of you has tried. Shop for it together. Cook it with some music on. Eat it at a table, without phones.

It is a small act. But small acts of nourishment, chosen consistently and with love, build something quietly beautiful over a lifetime.

Feed each other well. 🌿🍽️

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Jogor Center, Liberty Road, Ibadan
Ibadan

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Monday 09:00 - 17:00
Tuesday 09:00 - 17:00
Wednesday 09:00 - 17:00
Thursday 09:00 - 17:00
Friday 09:00 - 17:00

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