Àgbà John Doe

Àgbà John Doe Reality-based. The truth hurts & heals.

Àgbàfian rep on FB. Search on X and follow d Doe

03/08/2026

You may wish to say that it's insensitive, but I'll tell you young men regardless.

As long as you're in this Nigeria of today, you have no business marrying a wife or even having kids if you're not earning above N250k per month.

And that's me being very conservative or considerate.

Almost 20 years ago, I married my wife with a salary of almost N200k per month.

That N200k of then, is N15k - N20k today.

So do the math.

End.

28/07/2026

The worst mistake any of you young people can make is to be looking up to celebrities or online social media influencers as your pathway to success.

These people are a wee drop on the ocean, no matter how much money they have.

They're not good examples or mentors.

They're entertainers.

More than 50% of them have very short "career" lifespan.

And most of them are illiterates or poorly educated.

Look for educated and enlightened persons to use as mentors.

Study them and follow them.

You don't need to be rich or wealthy in life.

But you should be able to grow or build yourself to a level where you can discern and not be carried away by ephemeral things.

Use your brain.

Use every opportunity that your parents are giving to you and work legitimately hard.

Do not be one of those who beg online to feed and kiss butts.

End.

27/07/2026

Na longer throat dey make some girls dey do "talking stage".

End.

27/07/2026

From my DM.

Don Agba I greet you sir.

As an experienced idol that you are on the internet space, I want to ask one question and tell me solutions to it because I noticed since last year my libido low to the point that I don’t get s*xual desires the way I used to and is making me feel less of myself.

Because of this, I stopped smoking w**d because on a normal day, I used to f**k 3 girls a day but now I only go one 1️⃣ and with the help of s*x enhancement drugs.

So as a senior man I look up to on the media space, give me advice on what I could do to get my libido charge back.

My response:

You're f**klitant.

End.

26/07/2026

This morning, my kids were playing with me on the bed.

Then my wife called my daughter to come help her in the kitchen.

The following conversation took place:

Daughter: Daddy, why isn't "her brother's name" coming to join us in the kitchen? He should also learn how to cook.

Me: Yes, he should learn how to cook, but for different reasons.

D: what are the reasons, daddy?

Me: Your brother should learn how to cook so that he can survive when he's on his own as a young man or a bachelor. You should learn how to cook, so that you can survive as a young lady, and be able to cook for your husband and children.

D: But daddy, that's gender stereotyping.

Me: My head is spinning.

Me: What do you mean?

D: I mean, daddy, I must not be the only one who cooks for my husband. I can also earn more money than my husband, so he too should be cooking.

My head just do gbam!

Na so I start lecture ooo.

My wife called her again, but I had to ask her to allow her because I wanted to talk to her.

What started as a simple conversation turned into a 30 minutes lecture time.

I thought she was still very young to understand certain things but I realized this girl is always on YouTube kids watching different girly stuff. And somehow, this internet has a way to feeding them this western ideologies.

So I started from when I met her mother at the university until I married her. I told her that during our dating period, I did not give her mother any money for hair, buy her any phone, or pay any rent for her mother.

I told her that, yes, she should aspire to make her own money, and that even when she gets married and is making money, her money is not meant for her to be a provider for her husband.

I used my wife and myself as examples. I told her that when I married her mother, she was working and earning money, but she stopped working to become a stay-at-home mother and wife.

And that I pay her mother a monthly salary for the job she does.

D: Mommy never told me that you pay her salary.

Me: Yes, she didn't tell you because it's not your business. But I am telling you now so that you understand that even if you see your mother at home every day, it doesn't mean that she's not working.

That it can heppen to her when she gets married. Which is why she must be careful with the type of men she follows or the type of man she would get married to.

I told her that she should never see men and women as equals. That we have different privileges.

I now asked her if she knows what feminism is?

This girl said yes.

Omo I started another round of lecture o.

Feminism is different from femininity. I want you to discard whatever feminism is saying and be a feminine lady.

I married her because her mother is a feminine woman.

I talk tire.

This girl was just looking at me in awe.

I was actually waiting for when she would turn 15/16 before having such conversations with her, but omo, I for gok am.

Later, I had to call her mother privately to tell her that she has more work to do in terms of orientation. She said she does, but it's good that I lectured her, so she will now use it to teach and convince her more, because she always doesn't want to disappoint me, her father.

May my daughter not become the very things I teach against.

End.

25/07/2026

From my DM.

Good morning, sir.

I hope I'm not taking too much of your time.

I am 37 years old, and lately, the pressure to get married has been coming from every direction.

For a long time, I have desired an educated woman with strong values—someone I could build a godly home with. Unfortunately, many of the women I genuinely loved or developed feelings for never felt the same way about me.

I've had some painful experiences. In one relationship, I was deceived because I trusted someone enough to share my ATM PIN. On another occasion, I traveled to another state to meet a lady, only to encounter armed robbers on my way back. By God's grace, I escaped.

This year alone, I have spent well over ₦100,000 on different talking stages—not just one or two. Yet, the responses and energy I receive have often been discouraging. At some point, it began to feel as though I was simply wasting my time, emotions, and resources.

By God's grace, I earn a seven-figure income, but my work keeps me extremely busy. I practically spend most of my day and night working on my computers day and nights as a software developer who is also still in school.

I'm sorry for giving so much background, sir, but I felt it was important to explain where I'm coming from.

Fast forward to the present.

I am a committed Christian and have always tried to live a disciplined life and honor God in my choices.

Recently, my pastor introduced me to a lady. She lives abroad, is a committed Christian, and is also open to marriage.

We started talking, and within just one month, we've connected remarkably well.

We talk about everything. We spend hours on video calls, pray together, encourage one another, and genuinely enjoy each other's company. We both sleep late because we're usually talking. She checks on me consistently, genuinely cares about my well-being, and has even started talking about the possibility of me joining her in the UK, as she is a British citizen.

She is two years younger than I am and has a child from her previous marriage.

Sir, this is where my confusion begins.

Everything seems to be moving very fast. While I've spent so much time, money, and emotional energy pursuing relationships that never worked out—and even putting myself at risk—here is someone who seems to genuinely care for me, supports me spiritually, and appears intentional about building a future together.

Yet, I am afraid.

I'm afraid of making the wrong marital decision. At the same time, I also struggle with the fear of whether, because she has been married before, I might one day be taken for granted or not valued the way I hope to be.

I have prayed about it sincerely, but I still don't have clarity. My heart is divided between appreciating what appears to be a beautiful opportunity and fearing that I might make a decision I'll regret.

Sir, I would sincerely appreciate your counsel.

I don't want fear to make me take a wrong decision, but I also don't want emotions or pressure to lead me into the wrong marriage.

Thank you for taking the time to read this.

End.

24/07/2026

You're free to argue this, but let me say it.

The best marriage to have as a man is a marriage where:

1. You're more educated and enlightened than your wife.

2. You're richer than your wife.

3. You're older than your wife.

4. Your wife is not from a family that depends on you for their survival.

5. Your wife is not religious and seldom keeps friends.

6. Your wife is a housewife or works where she still has time to be a present mother.

7. Your wife is from a stable home where the parents are still together, but it's not her mother that is the main provider or the one that calls the shot.

8. All her sisters (especially elder sisters) are married.

9. She spends time to teach the children and takes pride in their achievement.

10. She doesn't deprive you of s*x and makes sure that her va**na and home is always clean for you.

11. She doesn't have an ex or she doesn't keep in touch with her exes.

12. She doesn't enable you as her husband and wishes to push you further than she has gotten to.

13. She puts you on your toes and you cannot afford to fail her because of the value that she brings to your life.

14. She knows that you have cheated on her, but turns a blind eye, as long as you're not rubbing it on her face and you put your family first in all thy doings.

15. She knows who you are, but will never use your secrets against you. And even if the marriage doesn't work out, she'll always speak good of you because she believes and trusts that you'll always speak good of her.

End.

24/07/2026

What I know is this.

When a man finds his wife, he will know.

Nobody needs to tell him that.

But if the woman that you want to marry is your ex that has gone ahead to date or sleep with other men, you have not found your wife yet.

End.

From my DM.I am here to validate this you just posted. It’s exactly what I am doing, and I am glad I am doing it right f...
24/07/2026

From my DM.

I am here to validate this you just posted. It’s exactly what I am doing, and I am glad I am doing it right for now.

She comes from a struggling family like mine. But by God’s grace, I have managed to take my two siblings through university successfully. One just finished university and is doing an internship with a government entity.

Another one is going into his final year of university. On the other hand, my wife's siblings are still in primary school. But I have deliberately decided not to bother with their education until my siblings finish and become established.

I know she’s not happy about it because she knows I have the capacity to put them in better schools than where they are currently, but you taught me to treat a woman how she ought to be treated, not how she wants to be treated.

There is even a child I am paying school fees for, and I am not related to him. I had wanted to keep it a secret, but she found out anyway. (That child is the son of a man who has passed away, who was fundamental in my early childhood education through primary schooling.)

He died when this child was 1 year old, and I got reunited with the mother 12 years later. As a way to pay back the late [person], I decided that as long as God continues to show me mercy through my finances, I will help him.

I will take care of this child’s school fees until he finishes university. From my wife’s reaction after she found out, I could clearly see that she didn’t like it, but she had nothing to do about it.

I tried to explain to her, but she still felt like her siblings should be the ones enjoying that privilege, even though she couldn’t say it directly to my face.

One of my mathematics teachers used to tell us that when knowledge is shared, it multiplies.

Thank you for always sharing your knowledge and wisdom with us. We appreciate it. May God continue to bless you and your family. I pray that you never lack anything in your life.

End.

23/07/2026

From my DM.

Good afternoon Agba,

Agba, please Sir, do you believe in houses that causes bad luck?

I just got to find out that where I live presently is so bad that people who move in here doing well end up doing way worse than expected.

The total amount I had when I moved in here was about 10 million Naira....which I got from sales of Solar power materials that's affiliated with my uncle's shop in Ibadan. And some middle man land deals I do in Owerri here.

I have turned from the one the family looks up to, to someone who can barely feed himself.

From my research, the people who managed to leave here started doing well.

I know of a particular guy I met in the compound, he came in with a lexus car, after some time, he started going broke to the point of breaking into people's apartment to take food stuff. He left the compound and not too long, he now does better, stays in a well furnished flat.

The other one I met here stayed for 3 years without being able to afford the rent. After forcefully evicting him, he's now doing well in a 2 bedroom apartment.

I can't even believe I'm saying this...even to eat is very hard because I'm just using my good clothes to cover up everything.

AJD.

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