Suzi Wallis / Snr Counsellor & Family Therapist / Auckland, Aotearoa

07/09/2026

"The masters of relationships are masters of repair’

These words of Dr. John Gottman, spoken in his memorable voice and cadence, go with me into every couples therapy session. I repeat these 8 words to my couples as I teach them the Gottman intervention called The Aftermath of a Fight or Regrettable Incident and as I guide them through the intricacies of the Gottman Repair Checklist. As a Certified Gottman Therapist I believe in the power of repair.

Yet, recently, I have become increasingly aware that, when it comes to my relationships, I have not achieved repair master status. I like repair to happen on my timeline.. And guess what? Not everyone has the same timing as I do. Why is this such a surprise to me? I am not sure, but it is."

Learn why partners have different timelines for repairing after conflict and how understanding your repair rhythm can strengthen your relationship.

06/09/2026

Keep going warrior, boundaries are gold 💪🥹

05/09/2026

Yep, as frustrating as it is that wisdom takes time, and discomfort, it's how we grow.

04/09/2026

"In theory, most people agree that it’s a good idea for both partners in a relationship to have influence in decision-making. You imagine you’re good at working as a team, compromising, and going back and forth—if only your partner would be more flexible.

Research conducted by Drs. Gottman and Jacobson showed that men who accept influence from their female partners tend to have happier and more satisfying relationships. Paradoxically, what the research also showed was that the more influence a partner was willing to accept, the more influential that partner was in the relationship overall.

In reality, accepting influence is an equal opportunity concept. All intimate relationships work better when both partners have and accept influence. In fact, this is one of the hallmarks of a successful relationship, one in which there is a pattern of respectful influence going back and forth and both partners feel that things are fair."

What does "accepting influence" mean? Gottman therapist Sinead Smyth, breaks down this concept and how it is the way to resolve conflict.

04/09/2026

There are some very creative ideas here 😁

03/09/2026

You gotta go first, they'll eventually follow, when they've seen it enough times, or when they're developmentally ready 🥹

03/09/2026

Talking to your kids using correct terminology, safeguards them from potential boundary violations.

02/09/2026

Life can be beautifully simple sometimes 🥹

01/09/2026

A beautiful reframe of a difficult experience for many 🥹

Your willingness to keep playing your part in the unhealthy family pattern is the very thing that keeps it alive.

31/08/2026

The little things matter 🥹