31/08/2023
Perfectionist vs Optimalist.
Tal Ben-Shahar wrote a great book called The Pursuit of Perfect and Brian Johnson created a fantastic summary of his favorite ideas available in the heroic app as a +1 (2min video) or a philosophers note (20mins recording or 6 page notes)
The key idea distinction is:
A perfectionist doesn’t embrace the constraints of their reality. They want to be awesome at work-long hours, while also healthy, fit, a great partner and parent, an amazing contributor in community, amazing friend to many etc etc. All of the things all of the time. When they inevitably fall short of trying to do the impossible they beat themselves up and suffer the associated depression or anxiety.
An OPTIMALIST holds themselves to high standards, while embracing the constraints of their reality. What’s does that mean? They rub their vision up against reality. The make the best of things within their current situation.
For me, in this chapter while my daughter is small, that looks like: my meditation practice is not 20mins a day like it used to be, it’s 5mins. Sometimes 3mins with my girl climbing on me or singing and playing beside me. (Internal commentary: “Yes it still counts. Come back to my breath!” ) My learning is a YouTube video playing while I pack the preschool lunch and note one key idea from it, rather than 30mins reading while I sip a cup of my favorite tea, or a couple of weekend courses per year. It’s 5 x 2mins exercises spread over the day some days, instead of two gym classes. These little things have me tick a box- (hi little dopamine hit) experience a “win”, and feel the “yesss” I’m still evolving my skills, which is a big deal for me.
Check out this +1 on the Heroic app! https://link.heroic.us/7vJH
