NWow Counselling & Coaching

29/05/2026

This might be the opposite from what you thought:
"Women in perimenopause and post-menopause who understand their anatomy and advocate for adequate arousal time report higher s*xual satisfaction than younger women — not lower. The research on s*xual satisfaction across the lifespan shows satisfaction peaks in the fifth and sixth decades for women who have the knowledge and the partners."

We may have a libido problem. We definitely have a knowledge problem and a menu that was never designed for female biology. Most women have never been offered the right diagnosis.

25/02/2026

Living in this modern world can feel pretty stressful for many people. Two books we read over summer brought a sense of understanding and bigger picture thinking which we found really helpful.

Don't Just Do Something, Sit There: A Manifesto for Living the Slow Life by Wallace Chapman. Much of what he wrote about aligned with what we also find works for our personal wellbeing and that is resisting the pull of never-ending busyness and distraction. It's an easy read with practical steps included.

Don’t Burn Anyone at the Stake Today (and other lessons from history about living through an information crisis) by Naomi Alderman. It was super helpful to step back and see the similarities of our time with other 'information crises' such as when the printing press was invented and how that in turn lead to people being burned at the stake. Thinking about our current time and what is up ahead felt pretty soothing which was a surprise. Again, there were some great tips in there that are applicable in life.

Both books are in the Christchurch library system.
Photo: Eldar Nurkovic - Bigstockphoto

16/02/2026

In this increasingly AI world, we probably come across as super old school still doing paper note taking and not using AI or even using a digital database for taking and storing your therapy session notes. We're okay with that. Your conversations with us are private and we want your data to remain safe and confidential.

The down-side is that you and we have to write things if we want to document it. The plus-side is that all of your therapy notes won't be able to be hacked and published on the dark web like what happened in Finland. BBC article linked in the comments below.

Send a message to learn more

25/09/2025

AI is being more and more integrated into healthcare. You might be asked at a health appointment if you consent to AI listening and recording the session in order for the practitioner to get a summary (instead of them taking their own notes).

There are some therapists and coaches also now integrating AI that watches and analyses your mood in response to what they're saying to you as well as taking notes and giving the therapist suggestions on their work.

We've reflected on all of this and noticed that we feel strongly about the therapy room being a safe, and fully confidential space for the people we work with. AI and surveillance is becoming more and more a part of our lives and we want to preserve your privacy when you share your most private and vulnerable thoughts and emotions with us. We do not use any AI to record or take part in your sessions and we still take notes on paper.

Of course, we can all choose what we personally want to share with AI in our own time but when we keep experiencing questionable and unethical actions by tech companies, you can rely on sessions with us being a safe space to fully share.

07/08/2025

Have you heard of Genitourinary Syndrome of Menopause (GSM)/aka vaginal atrophy?

Shockingly (according to a Stuff article) "Independent research into GSM revealed that 70% of women aged 50+ had never heard of the condition - despite up to 84% experiencing symptoms. More than 40% had never discussed their symptoms with anyone, including their doctor or partner. Over 60% had never sought treatment." What?? :-(

I (Maree) remember not that long ago talking to my GP about vaginal estrogen. I was quite shocked then too when she told me that most women wait until years after symptoms start when things have become really bad. By bad, we're talking about sore, dry, painful sitting/walking/urinating, painful in*******se, reduced lubrication, increased frequency of urination and increased risk of UTIs.

And of course a common side effect of all of this especially in heteros*xual relationships is that the woman feels confused and ashamed about the changes, hasn't sought help but just knows everything feels really uncomfortable and sore. And then stops everything s*xual and sometimes everything physical with their partner ('cos they don't want it to lead to in*******se). If s*x hasn't been great in the past anyway, this might be the final straw.

If the couple hasn't learned to talk openly about s*x before, then the topic feels way too hard to bring up. And if the partner also doesn't know about GSM then they might not even be aware that their partner's ge***al health has changed, and is just feeling rejected and confused about why their loved one suddenly (and without discussion) declared they don't want s*x anymore and are feeling hurt that something so joyful has been taken away from them. This isn't fun for either partner!

The great news is that there are options for keeping things healthy and comfortable (a great goal for yourself regardless of whether you want to have in*******se or not). And treatments that you can start even if you've been experiencing pain for years. Lets look at them.

-- There is easily accessible vaginal estrogen. This is a Pharmac-funded cream prescribed by your GP.
-- There's a self-directed programme called The Vaginal Renewal Program which combines massage, vibration, lubrication and moisturising. Link for a downloadable pdf is in the comments.
-- There's a new NZ non-hormonal product combo called Myregyna - tablets and cream available from the pharmacy - not Pharmac funded though.
-- And if someone was wanting to explore even more innovative options and get specialised medical advice, we now also have the V Clinic in Ferrymead. They offer very thorough assessments (with longer appointment times than you get at your GP) and specialised advice with a clear treatment plan.

Have I missed anything that someone has used with success?

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13/02/2025

An abundant s*x ed opportunity that's being offered for free until April 29th:
100 Days of S*x Ed. Created by 100+ experts.
Free workshops, panels, webinars, videos, articles, research, worksheets, activities, games & more.

https://www.delvvy.com/?fbclid=IwY2xjawIaKGhleHRuA2FlbQIxMQABHVDCHRYIueH-ITD0fj9A4-1lR_uAjZpKgRUBp_IUla3VY8J1GX3Q1Nr_Xg_aem_yLwgkUWtidc0HU_orHn_jw

Send a message to learn more

05/02/2025

A couple of weeks back we went to a festival and on reflection we're noticing what a great opportunity something like that offers to practice self-differentiation as a couple. If you work with us on the topic of relationships, sooner or later it's likely we'll be talking about self-differentiation.

If the word is new to you, basically it's the ability to maintain your sense of identity, values, desires, thoughts, feelings etc. while navigating relationships and differences. Sometimes we have people wondering how they can practice self-differentiation (rather than just understanding it as a concept). We thought we'd share some of the ways in which the opportunity presented itself over the course of several days:
.. noticing when one of us wanted to go to a workshop and the other wasn't interested.. when one of us wanted to dance and the other wanted to chill.. when we wanted to attend a workshop but then one or both of us changed our mind after it had started and feeling okay to leave.. when someone was talking about a spiritual view or belief as if it were fact -- and noticing if we agreed or disagreed (with them and with each other) or agreed with just a bit but not the rest.. being okay with different desires about staying up or going to bed.. being curious about how each of our experiences were with our tent - what one of us was okay with but that annoyed the other.. noticing if there was a desire to move or stretch even though you might be the only one doing it.. realising if one of us wanted to be social and the other wanted time alone.. being chilled about one of us liking a musician and the other feeling bored.. allowing for difference when one wanted to move around a lot and the other also did, or didn't.. who was hungry and what we each wanted to eat.. being able to express clearly if one of us wanted to share an experience with the other - and for the other to be able to hear that and have their own genuine response about that.. listening to ourselves and noticing what we were each feeling about leaving early or staying til the end

and SO many more situations of noticing similarities and differences and being okay with those. It's super fulfilling when you commit to relating in a way that allows you each to be open and curious about differences, ground yourself in your personal desires of what you want to experience as well as then co-creating an experience that honours each others uniqueness while also having a satisfying and connecting experience.

Let us know in your next session if you want to practice more self-differentiation in your life as well :-)

23/12/2024

2024 - Woah what a year! We want to thank everyone we've worked with for choosing us to walk alongside you in your journey.

To all the individuals and couples, we encourage you to celebrate all the big and small steps you have taken over these last months.

You and your lives are all unique. And yet there are many things you share -- Going deep and connecting with what's important to you, identifying and giving voice to your thoughts and emotions, and taking courageous action in your life to create satisfying and fulfilling relationships, jobs, a supportive relationship with yourself and overall crafting a life path that is in line with your values.

Wherever you are over the next couple of weeks and whatever your Christmas and New Years' plans, we hope you find moments here and there to pause and take a deep breath to connect in with yourself. Remember that no matter how busy things get, it's okay to choose to rest, to set boundaries and respect your limits, and in general to look after yourself as well as those around you.

Looking back, I (Maree) want to give a special thank you to all those who flexibly adapted to my limited mobility when I broke my ankle at the start of the year and had to fully shift to online sessions until I was able to get up our stairs at work again. Thank you so much for your understanding and patience!

We wish you a restful holiday and look forward to continuing our support in the new year 🙂💛