JodieeMarshall

20/06/2022

23/05/2022

I’ve found it really vulnerable to be seen in various expressions of my Aliveness over the years

As a little girl I often felt like an outsider to the rest of the family. Watching home movies I catch glimpses of myself in the background sinking into my own world, playing with plastic tree figurines whilst my sisters danced and pranced around in the ecstatic expression of their joy and aliveness

I remember a few years ago I was told by a good friend how disinterested I seemed when met with exciting, life changing circumstances

Truth is, I was numb to it all
It was unsafe territory for me

Really, my system was stuck in freeze state

When Freeze occurs we experience a sense of dread in our nervous system, a temporary pause which throws our body to into highly activated immobility

Exploring the physical and emotional body has been life altering for just this, understanding that those expressions have always existed inside of us, they just didn’t feel safe to be seen

Becoming familiar with whats resting underneath allowed the shame and incuriosity to thaw and re- emerge as Vitality, pure life force energy

And to me, this is what it means to be Alive

Living in the Truth of how Life wishes to arise through us, be that in our joy or in our grief

Today I felt a combination of everything, the joy of simply existing, yet grieving the uncertainty of it all

It’s all perfectly imperfect, just as it is

Oh how utterly human of us all to feel like this
🤍

What’s Alive for you today?

31/03/2022

The Path of Intimacy is a commitment to living life all the way in

It’s devoting your full presence to life’s ecstatic triumphs

Just as much as it’s many turbulent waves

It’s not turning away from the hardship, nor numbing out, suppressing or avoiding

It’s saying

Yes to the difficulties
Yes to the grief
Yes to the tears and fears

And alchemising them all

Into Love again.

♾🫀

The degree at which you avoid intimacy with yourself, is the degree to which you are denying it with another

Intimacy begins with you, furthermore setting the foundation for intimacy with lovers

26/02/2022

I’ve recently began connecting with someone, and a few days ago I shared with my mentor how experiencing this level of devotion from a man caused me to feel terrified

As a young girl I was so hungry for the recognition of another, so dependant on a man to validate my existence. I yearned for someone to offer me the safety and security I always craved, yet when relating, the cracks soon appeared between us and the bubble of illusion popped almost instantly, there I found myself again, feeling invisible, alone

All of these false personas I created to ensure I was seen as worthy and desirable, in order to receive Love caused me to loose myself, give away my power and silence the truth of my voice

Reality was, I could never be met by another, because I had yet to meet myself

By creating self trust with my inner little girl, offering her my attention by processing the emotional aspects of her pain, I soon landed in a place of Truth, where her words became my priority to tend to before anyone else’s

Speaking to her gently, receiving all she desired, I began offering all that she required from me, and in turn I met someone who could meet me right where I was. In no way did this connection arrive through a rush of hormones filling me with intoxicating excitement, yet it landed slowly, gently, consciously and within divine timing

What I came to realise was, my safety and security could never be found in the arms of another, because it was here along

My fear now was that this man could take that from me again, yet he could never steal what was always mine

My power, safety, my wholeness is all sourced from me

By learning how to take up space in the fullness of my being, this bond that’s developed has done so with awareness, transparency, openness, and receptivity

Allowing me to rest deeper into the intimacy presented within each moment

I can’t say what’s yet to come, I don’t know, and that’s the true beauty of it all

I’m simply excited to explore whatever possibilities present themselves along the way

The only thing I know for sure is, Self Love was the medicine I needed all along