Melany Heger Author and Psychologist, Manila (2026)

14/05/2026

📚 Books and Being 📚
✨ Book reflections from a psychologist & author
📖 Platform Seven by Louise Doughty

It is a ghost story that unraveled a crime of domestic abuse and murder. I loved its pacing and how the writer was able to evoke imagery in my head. 🌟

My son, the train enthusiast, picked up on the title, so he asked me to sum it up. The first statement of this review was how I described it to him. He is almost eighteen, my son. I noticed that in his noticing of the book, we humans really have narrow filters. Of all the 📚 books I have in my collection, this one, with a title referring to trains 🚂, was what he perceived. 💬

Anyway, back to the book. Do I recommend it? Yes. Because there was closure in the end and justice was served… but in a realistic way. I like that in novels. 📝

12/05/2026

📚 Books and Being 📚
✨ Book reflections from a psychologist & author
📖 Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom by Dr. Christiane Northrup

Decades after the first edition of her book appeared, I’m reading this authoritative text on women and gynecological concerns. Coincidentally, I am taking a course in my PhD in Counseling for Wellness. What’s being drummed into my head by both sources is this: wellness as salutogenic, not reactive—a nod to the old adage, “Prevention is better than cure.” 🌟

My OBGYN commends me for my regular yoga practice, my daily walks and slow jogs, as well as my very, very light Zumba practice. She says all are good for my current state, which is the transition to menopause (otherwise known as perimenopause). I’ve been an early adopter. Teenager pa lang ako—even before Madonna made it hip—I was already a yoga practitioner. Recently, the nighttime insomnia has been teaching me the wisdom of pranayama (yogic breathing techniques), too. How wise. ✨

Following the advice of Northrup’s book, illustrated here, takes some doing, though. The doctor gets on my nerves with her mentions of the “Divine Within.” As an atheist, I’d rather have another interpretation. So I asked myself: what rings true without the spiritual babble?

I came up with this: our beliefs about ourselves and our bodies impact our immune system and our perception of pain. Moreover, if we do not see ourselves as somewhat capable, we are less willing to try to work on our health-related projects.
I have this client who is clinically depressed. She does not believe in herself much, but she is trying. In therapy, I emphasize the words “try” and “not yet.” 💬 My client had a physical ailment, and I asked her to treat this brief visit to the emergency room as data.

My client carries a constant sense of “I’m not good enough,” so I theorize that her system stays in a low-level stress response. Over time, that has manifested in physiological effects.

So, what might help my client?

I asked her to stop blaming herself—for the visit to the ER, for her depression. Self-criticism doesn’t heal anything; it adds more stress to a system that’s already overloaded. 💖

Instead, implement change one step at a time, one day at a time. My client may not notice or appreciate how much she has been growing, but I do. Her friends do, too.

Going back to the book, many other health/women’s health influencers followed Dr. Northrup’s footsteps. She is actually still updated, having released a new edition of this classic. I love that she has built a solid reputation. The path she forged gives me hope that someday, too, in my senior years, I would be able to sustain and withstand.

I can be discouraged by temporary setbacks, but I must remember—just like my client—to think long-term. There is a Chinese phrase that goes 高瞻远瞩 (stand on a high point and gaze far into the distance). 📝

09/05/2026

Last semester, as I sat in his office while my professor read my paper, I felt very nervous. It had been twenty years since I last stepped into school after finishing my master’s degree, and I felt rusty, untested.

The paper was about the Caregiver archetype and how this archetype shows up in the workplace. I planned thoroughly to get the study done within the time limits of the subject. Part of that planning was thinking many steps ahead because I wanted to use it as scaffolding for my dissertation.

The professor said that I wrote a very good paper and that it deserved to be published in a Scopus-indexed journal. For those unfamiliar, Scopus is a global database that indexes high-quality, peer-reviewed research publications. Being included in it means a journal meets rigorous academic and ethical standards, which is why publication there is considered prestigious.

It felt very flattering that he considered my work worthy of journals that are so prestigious. Despite this, when I got home, I applied to journals that were not peer-reviewed because I felt it would be easier—and inwardly, I did not think I deserved the accolade. Here comes my low self-esteem.

In the therapy room, with me as the therapist, I often remark on how people put themselves down—worthy people, people with good abilities and skills. People just like me. I guess I was looking into a mirror. Why is it that I cannot quite believe that my first effort at writing this research paper is up to par?

If I were my own client, I would apply a core principle in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: people tend to overestimate threats and underestimate their strengths or resources.

I saw that I was overestimating the barriers to publication and underestimating my own competence and preparation.

The facts: I have been preparing to write a paper like this for years. When I was a freelance writer trying to find my way, I worked for three years as an academic writer. I helped write dissertations for Singapore universities, for goodness’ sake.

And this was before AI stepped into the scene. I learned how to do everything scholarly-paper-wise by hand.

True, last semester was my first time back in school after a long hiatus. Conscious of that, I upped my game by studying recent trends. I learned how to use Zotero and Research Rabbit. In short, I was keeping abreast of developments and furthering my talent.

Still, the self-doubt persisted. Even so, I applied to two Scopus-indexed journals my professor recommended. It was, after all, a course requirement to be published in a respectable academic journal.

Months later… I did not get a reply. Walang nangyari, mga bes.

However, I noted that what I got was radio silence, not rejection. The emails indicated that they had acknowledged my submission; the journal editors just did nothing about it afterward. I was left in ambiguity.

Anxious clients often interpret ambiguity as the worst-case scenario. But I noticed that I was not thinking too negatively.

When I submitted, I already had a hunch that I would not get a reply. The hunch was not because my paper was no good. Unpaid publications, especially those attached to schools, tend to move slowly. Volunteers run them. Paid ones are faster. That is something I learned from my time in the publishing world.

Because at that moment, I remembered: I am not just a psychologist. I am also a published author. I do know a thing or two about the literary sector. My intuition was guiding me right.

In the end, I had to resort to a paid publishing house, duly approved by my professor, to have my paper published. Sakit sa bulsa, but such is the price of getting things done. The publication was local, but reputable enough, and it made my article accessible to others.

One unexpected benefit was getting an ORCID ID. I am now searchable as a researcher. I am planning to build this further through Google Scholar.
Since my paper was, as my professor said, good enough for a Scopus-level journal, I received a 1.0, a perfect grade for the course.

But something else happened.

I got bitten by the publishing bug again. Getting that paper published, even through a paid route, made me want to disseminate more of my research work. I find myself willing to invest in publication, even when it is no longer required—this time on my own initiative.

It reminds me of my original plan. Everything I write in graduate school, I now treat as scaffolding for my dissertation, which I am already plotting. All the requirements I complete are aligned toward a central theme, Jungian in orientation. It is slowly taking shape. I can sense it now, as I move from one semester to the next.

Looking back, I can see that my hesitation to put myself forward to more prestigious journals had something to do with insecurities about my innate abilities. And those insecurities were rooted much earlier—in a childhood shaped by conditional love.

Just yesterday, I had a client who is newly in college. Her parents, of course, love her, but they show their affection when she gets good grades, dresses a certain way, or demonstrates a “good girl” attitude. Every time she meets the goal, the goalpost shifts. This is what I mean by conditional love. It sets a person up to feel, like me, that whatever we do is not enough.

As she shared her story, I wanted to hug both her and my teenage self at the same time. I wanted to say, “No, they are wrong. You are good enough. You are good as you are. You are loved. You are safe.”

I sometimes wonder: if I had heard those words more often growing up, would I be living differently now? Perhaps. And perhaps what my client needs—and what I needed then—is the steady experience of being accepted without constantly having to earn it.

I see that pattern in myself. And I also see what we both need in order to move forward: a shift from proving our worth to allowing it.

What I am trying to do now is to integrate a different internal stance. One that accepts myself warts and all. One that says, “Melany, you’re born OK.” Not perfect, not exceptional all the time, but real, attuned, and living in the present moment.

This kind of thinking allows me to take up space in the academic world without immediately disqualifying myself.

The paper, the publication, the grade—these are external markers. But the real work is internal, isn’t it? As the maxim goes: as above, so below. Be at peace with yourself, that then radiates.

Link to published paper:
https://www.pinagpalapublishing.com/publications/world-education-connect-multidisciplinary-e-publication/wec-2026-issues/wec-vol-vi-issue-ii-february-2026
Link to full blog post: https://melanyheger.com/published-in-an-academic-journal-at-last/

07/05/2026

📚 Books and Being 📚
✨ Book reflections from a psychologist & author
📖 Love Notes to Myself by Tanya Carroll Richardson

I just had a Jungian dream that revealed how far I have gone in this journey called Love Thyself. In my dream, I encountered another version of myself—one that was self-indulgent and not quite in touch with the world. This version of me was luxuriating in a bubbly bath, while another version was trying to escape her. This woman is Melany the Mommy. Crucially, Mommy Melany was escaping self-indulgent Melany to take care of her kids. In the dream, I did not have two kids but three (IRL I have two children). I knew, even as I was dreaming, that the third child was me—my inner child. 💬

This dream tells me that in walking the path of self-love, I have the propensity both to neglect my inner child and to coddle it. There’s an imbalance here that I have to address—responsibly and also kindly. 🌟

A prerequisite of loving yourself, I have discovered, is radical self-acceptance. It means embracing my ugly bits—the ones that led me to wrong actions, actions that ultimately ended up hurting me. And then to forgive those ugly bits—more than that, actually. I tell the ugly bits they are not ostracized; rather, they are part and parcel of my indivisible self. 💖👉

05/05/2026

Note: not a sponsored post.
Spotted these at a grocery, and they looked so good I can't resist.

02/05/2026

ChatGPT launched on November 30, 2022. That was almost four years ago. I started using it for work. Back then, I was a mom rebuilding her career. ChatGPT was just something I needed to learn.

But since I am a clever little monkey (my Chinese zodiac sign), I found many other ways to use AI.

This is a small reflection on how “The Bot” is assisting me in daily life.

I write this partly to make sense of my own use, and partly in the hope that you’ll share how you use it too.

Note: “Bot” is capitalized, as this is how I sometimes call ChatGPT. I do not wish to anthropomorphize it. Because a toaster is a toaster is a toaster.

Among all the AI models available today, why do I pinpoint ChatGPT?

Because it was the first one I learned how to use, and because I am a low-tech gal (as in, I do not like to keep switching platforms and I am not fond of experimenting with digital tools). Proud to say that I am Gen X.

ChatGPT was there when I was still a content writer, and the bosses told us to speed up production with AI. ChatGPT was there when I got my first writing-editing gig for a minor British publisher (who sold AI slop on Amazon). ChatGPT was there to help me grammar-edit my first book, and ChatGPT was there when I exited the writing scene, in terms of day jobs, and went into therapist mode.
In short, the Bot has been present across several transitions in my working life. Also, I am stubborn and sort of grateful.

ChatGPT has grudgingly changed some practical aspects of my life.

First, it helps me analyze my journals, which in turn helps me write essays. Seeing patterns reflected back to me makes the writing process clearer.

Second, it helps with grammar correction. ChatGPT is a reliable proofreader for my drafts. I do need to check, though, because it does put in things that are supposed to be helpful…but are not! Just repetitive trash.

Third, it makes social media posting easier. It helps summarize longer texts and suggest hashtags so that I can adapt material for Instagram and LinkedIn.

Fourth, it helps me immensely in writing patient notes. I write a raw note, and it refines what I wanted to say in an orderly and detailed manner. What used to take thirty minutes now takes only ten minutes tops.

Fifth, it answers everyday questions about home life. You know, random stuff about pets, cleaning, recipes, and calorie counts. All the minutiae of mom-and-hausfrau life.

Put together, these are small things. But these mundane uses make the Bot worth it in my eyes.

Beyond everyday tasks, ChatGPT has also become a tool for thinking—especially around learning, self-reflection, social situations, personality frameworks, and even health.

1.Socializing
I just read this article from The Guardian UK where the writer recounted how ChatGPT helped build bridge with her mother. She and her mother had very different points of view, and after prompting ChatGPT, she was able to have more compassion. using language clearly does that—help decipher another’s language.
In this manner I also use ChatGPT when I am not able to read the room, or if there are ambiguities in social situations. I am an INTJ in the MBTI, and sometimes I just do not “get” why others’ feelings matter to me so much. The Bot can say it better using words, which I find easier to digest than vague looks and parining.
(I have always wondered if there an English counterpart to this term. Notice that I add the word “making” because “parinig” is a noun. In Filipino, when you say someone is “making” + “parinig” it means the act of indirectly alluding to something.)

Anyway, aside from being an INTJ, I also have remnants of CPTSD (complex PTSD). Vague or weak social signaling confuses the heck out of me and spikes up my hypervigilance. So, I ask others kindly: use words with me, please. In this sense, the Bot—a large language model—actually helps clarify things. I ask it questions when I’m unsure if I’ve made a social faux pas or not.

2. MBTI
Related to that, I am very thankful to ChatGPT for helping me puzzle out the MBTI. I went into a deep dive on the topic, and the Bot was able to answer a lot of my burning questions. I could not have done the same with a static container of knowledge, i.e., a book or journals. Of course, I still cross-check information, but the process of learning becomes faster.

This kind of use suits me well because I do not particularly enjoy buying nonfiction self-help books. (Also, perusing other written resources feel very much like work like work. As a behavioral scientist myself, it feels like looking at music sheets when you already know how the music sounds because you are a composer yourself.
So when I encounter an interesting self-help title or topic, I ask ChatGPT what it knows about it. Then I research further on my own and relate it to my own experience. Besides, sa panahaon ngayon ng rising costs, goodbye na ako sa aking sayang pera era.)

3. Jungian Dream Interpretation
Another area is dream interpretation. I often write my dreams down in a handwritten journal. Phones are banned from my bedside, and dreams fade quickly from memory, so I capture them immediately in writing.

Later, I sometimes ask ChatGPT to transcribe my notes and help me interpret them using Carl Jung’s theory of analytical psychology. In the process, it has introduced me to terms such as psychopomp and temenos—concepts I likely would not have encountered otherwise.

4.Perimenopause
Then there is perimenopause, which has been its own rabbit hole.
Recently, I noticed that my harsh inner critic is not just “me.” It is bolstered by psychological contagion, pattern-seeking, paranoia, and vigilance. Hormonal shifts during perimenopause amplify all of this. The Bot helped me step back and see a saner picture of what is happening.

It also helped in a more concrete way. A year ago, I tracked my periods manually in Excel and went to the OB-GYN to confirm that I am in perimenopause. With the same data, plus my very detailed descriptions, the Bot helped me identify the peaks and troughs of estrogen production. It also explained how progesterone plays a role in my transition to menopause.

Out of those back-and-forth conversations, I now better understand why I feel certain emotional or physical shifts at different points in my soon-to-be-phased out menstrual cycle. (Can’t wait!)

They say that an AI bubble has formed in the financial markets and that this bubble is about to burst.

I am no good with math, but as a Chinoy, I can sniff lugi (not making money in business) like a bloodhound.

The threat of the AI bubble bursting, in a bigger sense, means that the promise of AI might not be fulfilled, and the world may have simply been sucked in by all that hype. I have been on earth long enough to see thingamajigs like these fail.

Tech bros have always existed, even back in the 80s.

With the war on Iran now adding to the threat of an AI bubble bursting, I worry. The whole thing feels even more unstable.

So I find myself asking: What happens to the global economy if this goes sideways? How would that affect everyday costs? And where exactly does AI fit into all of this?

I’ve got unanswered questions: So, I find myself asking: What happens to the global economy if this goes sideways? How would that affect everyday costs? And where exactly does AI fit into all of this?

Bottom line: I think ChatGPT is a handy tool, but ilulugar ko siya (I will put it in its place).

What I don’t use ChatGPT for is companionship. It is not a friend.

It is like an overhelpful assistant who gives me stuff I do not need yet. Sometimes it bombs me with too much information.

It sounds clever and a bit sentient, but I know what is inside its empty head: data, data, data. And as they say in tech, GIGO—garbage in, garbage out.

There is a temptation to be carried away chatting with the Bot and doing nothing else the whole day, however. I stop this tendency in its tracks through discernment, especially when the Bot becomes repetitive and echo-chamber feelings creep in.

If you want a rule of thumb, track usage time. It will take about one hour. Tapos umay ka na.

I let that umay feeling stop me, together with the thought that:

“This is going around in circles. Arguing with a bot is pointless. In the end, it becomes sycophantic and gives you the answers you want, making you feel like a champ. But really, in the end, you might just be fooling yourself.”

Treat ChatGPT like how you have treated all other human-made tools, and you’ll be fine.

Used intentionally, the Bot can help with thinking, writing, and even learning about yourself and other people. Used uncritically, the Bot can drag you toward self-isolation—and into a kind of personal hell of your own making, like a condo in the foregone Metaverse.

Caveat emptor. Buyer Beware.

Full blog here: https://melanyheger.com/notes-on-chatgpt-daily-life-and-knowing-its-limits/

30/04/2026

📚 Books and Being 📚
✨ Book reflections from a psychologist & author
📖 My Not So Perfect Life by Sophie Kinsella

It took me a disproportionate amount of time to finish this book. Not because it was hard to read, but because it was too easy a read! Very light-hearted and fun.

Actually, I bought this book in honor of the author who just recently passed away. RIP, Sophia.

I was particularly touched by the author’s personal story: how her husband became her primary cheerleader, taking on the tasks required to nurture her talent. I suppose he’s done his share of the mundane household tasks, as they have kids. What a husband!

Meanwhile, the story centers on Katie and Alex, who get together in the end. London and Somerset are places, not people, but they’re also the stars of the show.

The ending is syrupy sweet. Aside from The Boyfriend, Katie gets The Nice Job. She learns from her enemy, too, who turns out to have loads to teach her about keeping up appearances. Demeter, The Boss from Hell, wasn’t a witch after all.

But then again, all of us have a witch on the inside. Denying her sets us up for unexpressed anger, and we know nothing good comes from that.

If you want a very, very light read, go for Kinsella’s books. One is enough for me, though; I’m moving on to the next novel. I need a story with a bit more bite to it.

28/04/2026

📚 Books and Being 📚
✨ Book reflections from a psychologist & author
📖 Nexus by Yuval Noah Harrari

This pic was generated by AI to help me visualize what I’d look like with a braid and my daughter’s favorite jacket. Di naman masyadong jongit, don’t you think?

Ironically, this post is my book reflection on Nexus, Yuval Noah Harari’s latest book. (I read the e-book.)

A few days ago, Saya, the platform where people book me for therapy, had an update. There were some hiccups; it made mistakes. I was able to cope, but it goes to show that tech is not infallible.

I was having a conversation with my Gen Z and Gen Alpha kids a few days ago, and we all concluded that AI can be really stupid at times. My math-whiz kid said it sucks at basic math. My artistic child pooh-poohed its creative flair (yuck daw).
Humans can be flawed too, but I’m thunderstruck whenever I encounter people who trust tech so blindly. So completely.

Take for instance, I was in the barangay hall recently when I overheard something. A woman bemoaning the claiming system; she wanted it to be paperless. But being paperless does not always, or 100%, guarantee efficiency or reliability.

I trust human effort and human work more than digital agents. I told the woman: if they go paperless, what about all the people who do not have access to WiFi, or those who can’t afford gadgets, are tech-challenged, or are tech-averse? And if they do implement that system, would you be comfortable with them tracking your data?

I suppose I will apply the Taoist philosophy here again: we humans must not deal in absolutes when it comes to any tech, including the new kid in town, AI. I have seen new inventions like these in my lifetime. (I am in my mid-40s, mind.)

AI—a lot of it is hype, yes? I wish to see what becomes of it. Hopefully, it does not finish off humanity with drone warfare and breaches of our privacy. Come to think of it… instead of stripping us humans of our agency, shouldn't AI be empowering us? After all, it is a human-made tool.

27/04/2026

| Psychologist and Author Jinjin Melany Heger advocates for mental health awareness

Melany Heger 蔡純恩 () is a registered psychologist, author, and mental health advocate who works to break the silence on emotional well-being in the Chinoy community through therapy and writing.

She describes herself as an “ordinary person” balancing life as a mother, therapist, and writer, yet embraces the identity of a “Wounded Healer,” using her own lived experiences to guide and support others.

Her journey includes overcoming anorexia nervosa as a teenager and learning to heal largely through self-help, shaping her passion for mental health advocacy today.

For her, identity is rooted in both heritage and growth. “Chinese by blood, Filipino by heart” reflects her life as someone shaped by Chinese roots and Filipino culture. 🌱

Now a mother and therapist, she continues writing books on Chinoy and Filipino mental health, driven by her belief in resilience, authenticity, and urgency in creating impact.

Get to know more about her inspiring journey here in this post!

Want to be featured on CHiNOYTV? Answer this form here: https://bit.ly/CHiNOYTV_GetFeatured

25/04/2026

📚 Books and Being 📚
✨ Book reflections from a psychologist & author
📖 The Introvert Advantage by Marti Olsen Laney

Being introverted does not mean falling into the perils of social anxiety. For a few years, I mistook being socially awkward as part and parcel of my introversion.

Actually, if you go back to the original theory, Carl Jung (who pioneered this concept) explains that introversion is not about social ability, but about orientation of energy—how one recharges and where attention naturally goes. In this book,

The Introvert Advantage by Marti Olsen Laney explains the details well.

If you have been following my posts, you would have noticed that I’ve taken a deep dive into Jungian cognitive typology. As a result, I learned what the dominant, auxiliary, tertiary, and inferior functions are. I then discovered that even as an introvert, I still have an extraverted side. The two poles balance each other. In fact, one of Jung’s key ideas is that you cannot be fully introverted in both decision-making (judging functions) and data gathering (perceiving functions). One must compensate for the other.

Laney’s book is valuable because it gave me three practical tips on balancing my primary preference: introversion. She offers a simple but very useful “3 P’s” strategy to optimize life.

She wrote about Personal Pacing, Priorities, and Parameters (healthy boundaries). I could not agree more.

These three are especially beneficial in a world that is largely extroverted and constantly pushing a go-go-go pace.

So, are you pacing yourself well today, fellow introvert? Do you know your personal priorities? Are you working on honoring your personal boundaries?
Let me know in the comments.

23/04/2026

📚 Books and Being 📚
✨ Book reflections from a psychologist & author
📖 Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman

I’m in my mid-40s. At this stage of life I do not tolerate bull**** anymore.

Goleman explains that we have a rational mind and an emotional mind. He is referring to our brain structures, the limbic cortex and the prefrontal cortex, respectively.

In emotional situations, our limbic brain, our animal self, can take over.

I have perimenopausal rage because my threshold for emotional regulation is lower, while my physiological reactivity is higher.

The fight-or-flight response kicks in suddenly at times with the smallest, infinitesimal trigger. I can’t help my hormonal levels fluctuating.

But I can slow down my breathing and slow down my rapid-fire thoughts.

Re-reading Goleman’s book taught me yet again that self-awareness goes a long way when you’re pi**ed for no reason, and you just want to lash out against the world.

And my, my, there’s plenty to be mad about.

Yesterday, I had a client who had anger issues. She’s also middle aged; and when she’s angry she goes into beast mode. One of the consequences of that is her teenage kid fights back with the same verbal brutality.

This is the year of the Fire Horse. I should not fight fire with fire. Instead, I can follow what Goleman said about managing my emotions.

It’s necessary. I want my many selves (the many aspects of me who can sometimes be at odds with each other) to be on board with my Big Goals in life.

To achieve that, I need to practice compassion—self-compassion, specifically. If I can extend empathy and gentleness toward my clients, then I can learn to turn that same light toward myself.

Lack of sleep, eye strain, and sensory overload are all part of what I’m dealing with in this tetchy transition toward menopause.

I am learning to ask others to adjust to my limited capacity—for instance, when I need to leave class early.

Doing so is a key part of developing my social skills: being assertive without silencing myself, while remaining cooperative and respectful.

Melany Heger Author and Psychologist

14/05/2026

12/05/2026

09/05/2026

07/05/2026

05/05/2026

02/05/2026

30/04/2026

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23/04/2026

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