16/08/2026
Boy parents, raise your sons well so they don’t grow up traumatizing women.
As a psychologist, here is a pattern I repeatedly see in my therapy sessions with women who are suffering in their marriages.
In almost every case, when we look at their husbands’ backgrounds, there is a history that helps explain—but never excuses—the behavior they are now experiencing.
Women often tell me things like:
“He grew up seeing his father treat his mother that way.”
“That’s just how the men in his family are.”
“His father cheated on his mother, and he grew up seeing it.”
“His uncles had multiple women, so he thought that was normal.”
“His family raised the boys believing they could have any woman they wanted.”
“He was taught that a man could have children with a woman without necessarily having to marry her.”
Some even grew up in families where boys were taught from a young age what type of body a woman should have, how women should look, or how many women a man should be able to attract.
And eventually, these things become normalized.
The pattern I often see is that men who were raised in environments where infidelity, entitlement, emotional abuse, physical abuse, disrespect toward women, and a lack of accountability were treated as normal can carry those beliefs into their adult relationships.
Of course, not every man raised in a dysfunctional family becomes abusive or unfaithful. Many people consciously choose to break the cycle.
But that is exactly why parenting matters.
Children don’t only learn from what we tell them. They learn from what they repeatedly see, hear, and experience at home.
If a boy watches his father disrespect his mother, he is learning something.
If he watches the men in his family cheat without consequences, he is learning something.
If he hears women being spoken about as objects, bodies, or conquests, he is learning something.
If he is constantly told that “boys will be boys” whenever he behaves badly, he is learning something.
And if nobody ever teaches him accountability, empathy, emotional regulation, consent, respect, and responsibility, he may grow into a man who expects women to tolerate behavior that should never have been normalized.
This is why raising boys is not just about making sure they become successful, hardworking, or financially capable men.
Raise them to be good men.
Teach your sons that masculinity is not about how many women they can get.
Teach them that women are not trophies, possessions, or bodies.
Teach them that cheating isn’t a personality trait or a “natural thing men do.”
Teach them that anger does not justify intimidation or violence.
Teach them that rejection does not make a woman disrespectful.
Teach them that having power over someone does not give them the right to mistreat them.
Teach them to apologize, take accountability, communicate, respect boundaries, and regulate their emotions.
And most importantly, show them what a healthy relationship looks like.
We spend a lot of time teaching girls to be independent, financially secure, educated, confident, and strong enough to leave an unhealthy relationship.
And we absolutely should.
But here’s the food for thought:
What if we also put just as much effort into raising boys who will never become the reason a woman needs all that strength just to survive her marriage?
Your son will eventually become someone’s partner.
Someone’s husband.
Someone’s father.
And the way he treats women as an adult will be influenced, in part, by what he was taught to believe about women as a child.
Raise your sons well. The woman he loves someday will live with the man you raised.
