Messy Healing with Mehak

Messy Healing with Mehak Psychotherapist (trainee)
Creating a safe and non-judmental space for all humans 💞

Get in touch for online and in-person sessions.
27/04/2024

Get in touch for online and in-person sessions.

I have been extremely sick and in bed since one week. It feels like this is how I've lived my whole life. And it was lon...
12/09/2023

I have been extremely sick and in bed since one week. It feels like this is how I've lived my whole life. And it was long time coming.
I have a habit to take on more stuff than I can fully do justice to it. Some part of me is always trying to compensate for something. But in the process, I neglect my body. I've never really had a healthy relationship with my body but now it fights back by shutting down. I've started to get sick more frequently. It feels like my body is on a strike. No amount of medication, or remedies work. It aches in places I didn't even know existed. The body refuses to let me get anything done, that's it's way of protesting. My body tells me, 'you didn't listen when I asked to slow down, now I'll take my time'. And that's how it is. The body takes its time to get better and gives me time to 'rest'.
In our insanely busy lives, we hardly ever stop to mindfully rest, to just be. It's always one chore or another, one task to finish after another. And even in our rest, we scroll through Instagram or binge watch Netflix. Our nervous system is always running in overdrive. Our body and mind need to time off. Rest is not you being lazy, it can also do wonders for your productivity. It can unstuck you in many areas of your life. Although it's not easy and believe me, it's very difficult for me, let try and find ways to add rlmore rest into our routines before our bodies give up on us. Let's vow to listen to it when it's asking nicely.

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Part 4: The question of the century is that can we heal from shame? If yes, how to get freedom from it? The simple answe...
31/08/2023

Part 4: The question of the century is that can we heal from shame? If yes, how to get freedom from it? The simple answer is that healing is possible if we're willing to sit through the discomfort of it all. Healing is a lifelong process which requires commitment with one's self.

Acknowledge and accept:
The first step is to acknowledge the presence and effect shame has in your life, your body, and mind. We must acknowledge how it has dominated out relationships. After the acknowledgement comes the acceptance of how it might have effected you. Avoidance of shame will have to end.

Revisit the past:
Healing from shame requires us to go back as far as we can remember. Revisit the past, try to remember our story. When did it all began? When and how did shame become a part of our story? How has it impacted our current life?

Self-awareness:
Self-awareness is essential to heal from shame. Recognize the patterns, look within to see where shame lives in your body and mind. Notice the voice of shame in your head, and notice how it talks to you. What does it say and what does it really want? Recognize how shame shows up in your relationships.

Tell your story:
Shame thrives in secrecy and feeds on it. It can causes us to isolate, hide, and avoid. But when we tell our story, when we unveil out shame, it loses its power over us. We must uncover and put spotlight on our shame to heal from it.

Seek support:
There is a famous quote: shame dies when stories are told in safe places. Although it's not easy to trust and feel safety when shame has been telling you the opposite, we must seek help. We must find safe places to share our hurt and pain. It can be a therapist, a friend, a sibling or anyone that you can put your trust in. Love, care and empathy can help us heal from shame and make us free.

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Part 3: Where does shame come from? How are the ways we feel shame? We exist in this world I'm relation to others. The f...
28/08/2023

Part 3: Where does shame come from? How are the ways we feel shame? We exist in this world I'm relation to others. The first ever relationship we have is with our parents, out primary caregivers. Just like love, affection, care makes us thrive, feel safe and protected, when conditions of worth are put on our existence, we feel shame. When we are made to feel inadequate, when we are told through words, actions or nonverbal cues that we are not good enough, shame emerges. When we are made to earn live, affection and care of our primary caregivers, and are unable to achieve it for whatever reason, shame settles within us. Mostly it starts to manifest in our childhood. For example, a child who gets good grades is praised and acknowledged. A well-behaved child is liked by everyone. We internalize these voices and actions which become our inner voice.
As we grow older, we start to put these conditions on ourselves. Our inner dialogue which had formed it's basis on these conditions, that you're only worthy if you fulfill others' needs and expectations, dictates our lives. These voice could look like this: I'll only look good if I lose weight. I'll only be appreciated if I get good grades. I'm only successful if I have a certain kind of job. I'm only worthy if others are happy with me. If we're unable to fulfill these demands, we feel ashamed, or rather we shame ourselves. But can we get rid of these conditions of worth? Can we heal from the shame?

To be continued...

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