Therapy Assistance

23/09/2023

Why do we need to Judge people sometimes ? :Wisdom comes from adding logic and judgement to compassion and empathy your internal frame of refrence for other people is not always correct (eg they will not always feel or do things the way you would in a similar situation) . You can be Just and compassionate at the same time .

27/08/2023

Please follow for inspirational, insightful & motivational posts and thoughts that came through my (continuing) work with some amazing, brilliant people!

26/08/2023

It is Brave to love, be kind and vulnerable, regardless of what the outcome of a relationship/interaction is. How the other person processed/ did with it or used it against you, was NOT your fault . You did what you did from a place of self -authenticity, care, and as a representation of who you are as a person, with the information available to you then. Don’t let other people ‘s mean behavior dictate who you are at your core, that is giving them power over you.

31/10/2022

Is the “Ghost” of your unhealed Trauma dictating your present life choices, behaviour and guiding your present relationships ? Are you being unconsciously “haunted” by your past ? This is the time to become aware of your unconscious processes through therapy and going on a self - awareness journey. By doing this you will begin making conscious decisions which will come from your aware authentic, true and present self . You will stop making fear based choices / reactions that come from your embodied (carried in the body ) trauma.

28/08/2022

21/08/2022

Expand your Identity :
By identifying your unconscious proceeses that drive your behaviour /actuons . The story we tell ourselves (unconsciously) is what drives our behavior and limits us ; when you feel why am I not getting the outcomes /results I need or that the life you are living is not the one you (consciously) want , ask yourself what is my Behavior/actions feeding ? The life I want or the life I have unconsciosly decided I live ? The answer will mostly be the latter.
Don’t let your unconscious story become your identity

17/08/2022

16/08/2022

After Years of being constantly told what is good for you and not being given a chance to make your mistakes and learn from them leads to a lack of trust in your own self , always questioning every decision you make , second guessing yourself . I firmly believe everyone has an in built ability to know what is best for them, and the potential to become the best version of themselves; but for this we need to develop trust in ourselves. Therapy helps with this , by developing that relationship of trust with your therapist, you can clear away the clutter and make the best decisions for yourself

07/08/2022

When LOVE is Modelled to us as:
1) abuse (emotional and/or physical abuse is an acceptable/ allowed part of love (eg child is exposed to parents abusing each other )
2) betrayal -outright lying , sharing our confidential information, withholding information , “white” lies normalised as being part of a loving relationship (eg a parent shares information the child asked them to keep secret with someone else)
3)caretaking - always feeling responsible for the other’s needs/emotions/wellbeing (eg don’t cry/ make a noise/ go out as you’ll put mom in a bad mood)
4)transactional - love expressed through buying things, doing -if you do this: then you love me approach (eg dad does not have time to spend so he keeps buying gifts for the child as compensation)
-We are likely to be emotionally dysregulated and develop depression, anxiety, addiction to substances, people, or other forms of escapism or avoidant/anxious/ambivalent attachment styles. Therapy can help us identify / become aware of these unhealthy coping /defence mechanisms and consequently bring about change.

07/08/2022

27/07/2022

We can find great opportunity/growth in times of crisis even in the current unprecedented era of upheaval we are going through . This is because any type of change brings about a wealth of opportunities along with the expected uncertainty/ fear . We can chose what part to focus on ; the only way to get ahead is to take calculated risks. So if we are able to remain regulated and calm during a time of uncertainty we are more able to take advantage of opportunities when they arise. In life we often miss these windows because we are so often fixated on protecting ourselves from any type of change and switch to a threat based survival mode (fight flight freeze) . the same in therapy we need to unpack and be in chaos before the process of integration (becoming whole) can commence.