02/01/2018
(Evening rant) About giving a f**k
I have been tired, spent and drained for the last few months, and I can’t really come to terms with the emotions around that fact that all coexist inside me. Go to sleep, sleep away the day (which actually never happens, but there’s still a voice saying it), and the eternal GO GO GO, born from optimism and excitement and gratitude for all the opportunities that are available to me. It’s like these two doesn’t even try to get along either, they’re always fighting (they should totally break up).
Tonight I came across a column about how everybody nowadays burn themselves out (it’s the new black), and I can definitely relate to a lot of these symptoms and stories. The columnist suggested we stop giving a f**k about things, and asked “what will you not give a s**t about this year?”. At first I thought it fascinating and interesting - yes, I would LOVE to not give a f**k about so many things. I read 100’s of replies, and most people don’t give a f**k about answering their phones (+1), cleaning and wearing makeup. But they also don’t want to cook or exercise. Or spend time with their friends. And as I read on I realized that most of these people aren’t keeping their f**ks for themselves, they don’t give a f**k about their own health/state/mind. Hello. Let’s give the f**ks to ourselves first of all, and when we’ve had enough we can start giving them away.
I couldn’t really think of anything to not give a f**k about. I tried, and came up with the same vague and boring replies as others - less cleaning bla bla bla. But you know what? It’s not because I think that would make me have more energy for other activities. It’s because I’m lazy like that and I’d prefer not to. But, when the house is clean I feel great! So why would I want to take away something that is a, low skill (no brain involved) and b, allows me to function better and makes my life easier.
The logic is flawed. Take away things that really make a difference instead. Remove toxic friends, make sure your environment allows for growth and say YES to yourself, by giving yourself time and attention. You should think that you deserve that. Train your body, train your mind, eat food you like and that is nutrient rich. Give yourself time for reflection, sleep and don’t say yes to attending all kinds of events.
Stay at home, pet a cat, read a book. Make your bed, get the Tupperware out, clean your bathroom. You’ll feel loads better for it.
Also, make sure that you fill your life with stuff that means something, so you never have to wonder what you shouldn’t give a f**k about. You should give a f**k about everything in your life, because if you don’t, you need to redesign your life.
