http://www.kayatoastforthesoul.com/

Kaya Toast for the Soul, Singapore (2026)

04/08/2026

I see this so often in therapy.

People feeling stuck because life has become one long chase towards "what's next."

First, it's getting good grades.

Then the right school.

Then a good job.

Then the promotion.

Then earning enough to finally feel free.

Each one carrying the same quiet promise:

"Maybe after this, I'll finally be happy."

But sometimes, in the quieter moments, another voice begins to speak.

"I'm exhausted."

"When does my life actually begin?"

And I wonder if this is where delayed gratification slowly becomes delayed living.

---

Of course, goals matter.

Some things genuinely take time.

Some sacrifices are necessary.

But I also wonder how often we become so focused on building a future life that we slowly disappear from the one we're already living.

We'll for me, I stayed in a job I hated for three years because I thought:

"If I can just do this for ten years, maybe I'll finally have enough to be free."

But after a while, I started wondering what those years were costing me.

My freedom.

My happiness.

Myself.

And strangely, the finish line kept moving anyway.

The amount I needed became larger.

The waiting became longer.

The life I imagined always seemed to exist somewhere further ahead.

---

Lately, I've been thinking about goals and values.

Goals tell us where we hope to arrive.

Values are how we choose to live while we're getting there.

Perhaps both matter.

Because one gives us direction.

The other reminds us not to postpone ourselves along the way.

So maybe these are the questions I'm sitting with tonight.

What is all this waiting costing me now?

And is there any small part of the life I'm waiting for...

that I can begin living today?

Take care,

Hernping

💙

29/07/2026

This is a post I shared a long time ago.

And I decided to make a new drawing for it tonight, and somehow it got me thinking about this journey again.

The little drawings.

The mental health work.

Some of the books I've been enjoying writing.

And how all of this actually began.

For those of you who do not know me very well, I suppose this is a little of the origin story of Kaya Toast for the Soul.

---

It has been many years since I was diagnosed with depression.

At the time, I was working in a job I really, really disliked.

I remember feeling as though life had become incredibly small.

I was doing what I thought I was supposed to do, but I could not shake the feeling that something in me was slowly disappearing.

Life felt meaningless.

And I think, in some ways, I had lost myself for quite a long time before I even realised it.

--

When I started Kaya Toast for the Soul, it was never really about followers.

I wasn't running a social enterprise back then either.

I just wanted to do something that felt like me again.

To draw again like I used to do as a kid.

To write about things that actually mattered to me.

To stop pretending that I did not care about the things I cared about.

It all started as a little blog.

Then Kaya appeared.

Then the Boy.

And slowly, this became a place where I could share parts of my own mental health journey, while other people shared parts of theirs with me too.

---

Looking back, I think this has been a long journey of unbecoming.

Letting go of some of the things life, society and other people told me I needed to be.

And slowly returning to the parts of myself I had left behind.

The part that likes to play.

The part that likes making silly little drawings.

Nowadays the part of me that has always enjoyed writing too.

And tonight, I also wanted to share a new book I have written.

In many ways, it feels like another origin story for Kaya Toast for the Soul.

I will share more about it in my stories tonight, so please have a look if you would like to know more okay?

Thank you for being here :)

I hope you come home to yourself too.

Take care,
Hernping

🙏

21/07/2026

Why is it so hard to let go?

I can't tell you how often this comes up in therapy.

Someone leaves a relationship they spent years building.

Someone walks away from a job they genuinely loved because one person made it unbearable.

Someone keeps replaying university, old friendships, or decisions they wish they had never made.

And after all that, they ask me:

"Why am I still thinking about this?"

"Why can't I just move on?"

I wonder if you've ever asked yourself that too.

Because the world keeps telling us to "let it go."

As though letting go were simply a decision.

But I don't think our minds work that way.

Our minds don't keep returning to the past because they enjoy suffering.

They keep returning because they are trying to make sense of what happened.

Trying to understand it.

Trying to learn from it.

Trying to make sure it never happens again.

In many ways, your mind isn't holding on to hurt.

It's holding on to protect you.

And maybe that's why it feels so difficult.

Because there is a part of you that is still upset.

Still frightened.

Still trying to understand how something that mattered so much could hurt so deeply.

So before you ask yourself to let go,

perhaps begin somewhere gentler.

Can you first acknowledge the part of you that is still trying to protect you?

Can you thank it for caring?

Can you let it know that you understand why it keeps looking backwards?

And perhaps, slowly, another realisation begins to emerge.

Not everything that happened needs to make sense.

Sometimes people are unkind.

Sometimes relationships end without the closure we hoped for.

Sometimes good jobs are ruined by unhealthy people.

Sometimes life is simply unfair.

And maybe healing is not always making sense of the past.

Maybe healing is also being able to say:

"I deserved better than what happened."

Sometimes that is enough to begin letting go.

Take care,

Hernping

💙

06/07/2026

I think this post says alot about how I’ve felt lately.

Grief last week.

Then falling sick right after, probably from not resting enough.

And then this weekend, we found out that our dog, Mandu, our beautiful corgi, needed an emergency eye surgery today.

For a while, we thought there was a real chance he might lose his eye.

He is ten years old.

The kindest and most gentle corgi in the world.

My wife cried.

I cried inside too.

Because it felt like grief had barely left the room before something else walked in.

Thankfully everyone, Mandu is okay.

We went down to the specialist and thank goodness it turned out to be a wrong diagnosis on Saturday.

What was supposed a day we were supposedly supposed to leave Mandu at the clinic for surgery.

Turned into a day we brought him home with many treats and kisses.

And I am right now feeling so, so grateful.

And finally feeling I have some time to breathe.

--

But I also want to be honest.

The days leading up to today were hard.

I have been floundering to say the least.

Trying to get my head above water, only to feel myself sinking again.

And sometimes the kindest thing we can say is simply:

“I am struggling right now.”

Not with disbelief. Not with shame. Not while forcing ourselves to pretend everything is okay.

Just honestly to ourselves instead.

Because sometimes life really does not give us time to breathe.

And if you are struggling too, it does not mean there is something wrong with you.

It does not mean you are not trying hard enough to swim.

Sometimes the currents are just too strong okay?

So hold on.

Catch yourself where you can.

Rest when you can, so you do not tire yourself out trying to survive everything at once.

And I hope life is kind to you.

If not today,

then tomorrow too.

Wishing you my best.

Take care,
Hernping

💙

P. S. Someone msged me last week saying they needed a sabbatical from life. Sign me up for a bit pls?

Joking, resting tonight :)

Get some rest too everyone 🙏

02/07/2026

I spent most of today crying.

It's been a tough one and a half week.

And today, we said goodbye to my grandmother.

My last grandparent on this earth.

She lived to a hundred years old.

--

At first, I thought I was doing relatively okay this week.

But I think grief has a quiet way of finding us.

Sometimes not all at once.

Sometimes slowly.

Sometimes through memories we didn't know were waiting for us.

And as I spent time with family that I haven't seen for a while this week, I found myself remembering.

How my mum, her daughter, passed away when I was five.

And how every Sunday, my brother and I would spend time at my grandma's home.

We called Her Popo.

She cared so deeply and lovingly for me and my brother.

And I cherish the times I spent with my cousins and her at her home.

She was always there.

Always kind.

Always welcoming.

Always the best cooking.

So much so I still crave for it often (we are Hakka).

My Popo became part of the rhythm of my entire childhood.

And while life continued and somewhat lost as she deteriorated due to dementia in the last decade or so.

Today, all those ordinary moments suddenly felt immense.

Like my something in my heart that lay dormant was suddenly awaken.

And I think to you now, Popo.

What a precious person you were in my life okay?

Thank you for loving us so quietly.

I love you.

And I know I'll see you again :)

---

For those of you carrying grief too, whether through death, separation, or someone you can no longer hold close...

I hope you know this.

Grief hurts because love doesn't simply disappear just because someone does.

The pain we feel is often love that no longer has somewhere to go.

And perhaps that's why grief can feel so unbearable.

Not because love has ended.

But because it continues.

--

So if today your heart feels heavy,

Please don't rush it okay?

Grief is one of the prices we pay for having loved someone deeply.

And somehow,

I still think

It is a price absolutely worth paying.

Thank you for being in my life.

I'll remember and cherish you, always.

Take care,
Hernping

💙

27/06/2026

Does love ever feel temporary to you?

Does closeness ever feel transient?

Does it feel like right at any moment..

The people in your life could just up and leave too?

If that feels familiar, I want you to know you are not alone.

I've often felt that way too.

And I can’t tell you how often this comes up in therapy.

Not only in romantic relationships, but in friendships too.

--

People who are loved, but still feel desperately afraid.

People who are cared for, but can't help but feel watchful.

People who hear kind words, but struggle to let those words sink in.

And maybe this all makes perfect sense.

If you too are someone who has lived a life where people seem to just pass through.

--(

To you out there, maybe what's happening is your heart has learnt to be careful with love.

To doubt rather than to trust.

To anticipate disappoint rather than to be caught off guard.

To brace for that certain "eventuality".

That this person in your lite is going to leave you too.

--

And this can be so painful.

Because quite probably there is a big part of you that wants to receive the love, connection, permanence, in front of you.

But another part is still trying to protect you from the pain and hurt it remembers.

So if your heart trembles when people tell you they love you.

And you can't help but doubt.

There's no need for shame okay?

This is not ungrateful.

This is not you being difficult.

This is your heart learning.

Learning that love can be stay.

And that you deserve love too.

Take care,
Hernping

💙

P. S. For K 🐅

24/06/2026

I caught myself recently again.

Being tired.

And knowing I’m tired.

But still somehow finding yet another thing to do.

This past weekend,I spent almost the entire weekend writing a book.

Not just a book in fact, but three books at the same time.

A book on Borderline Personality Disorder and Complex Trauma because it's something deeply important to me.

Another on AuDHD for my clients (and tbh myself too, can you guess?)

And a little short story fiction I’ve been working on for a while called "a map of vanishing places".

And to be fair, I enjoyed all of these.

But again, that’s the tricky part, right?

Sometimes the things that tire us are not even things we hate.

Sometimes they are meaningful.
Interesting.
Even exciting.

But still,
they take something from us.

Time. Energy. Space.

And I guess I’m asking myself this tonight:

Why is it so hard to slow the pace?

Why is rest so hard to simply embrace?

And not something we need to constantly negotiate?

--

Tbh, I don’t have a clean answer tonight.

Maybe I’m just realising now that rest is not something I need to collapse into.

But something I want to choose.

--

And don't get me wrong, this post is part of my rest too.

I'm writing to get my thoughts of my chest (this is my journal)

But after this I'm also going to go read my Manga (bet you didn't know this about me)

Eat my Japanese curry katsu don.

Stroke and smell both my dogs.

Then dim the lights and lay in bed.

Because rest is not the absence of life.

Rest is part of being fully alive too.

Take care,

Hernping

💙

18/06/2026

One of our interns asked me today to prepare a founder story for IASH.SG 🇸🇬 social media.

So, why did I start this?

And honestly, I sat with that question for quite a while.

Because I wish I could tell you I always knew what I wanted to do.

I didn't.

Not even close.

I changed uni courses three times. Failed repeatedly. Spent years feeling lost.

Before I was a psychologist, I was a mental health patient too.

Even after discovering psychology, I still didn't imagine this would become my path.

Like many people, I got pulled along by what I thought was expected of me.

Study. Work. Build a career.

From the outside, things looked sensible enough.

Inside, I felt increasingly disconnected from myself.

--

One thing I remember clearly was dreading Sundays.

Sunday evenings felt like another reminder that a week had gone by and I still wasn't becoming who I thought I was supposed to become.

There were periods where I struggled with depression.

And although I sought help, something still felt missing.

I saw therapists across the years.

Yet much of what I encountered felt clinical at a time when I was searching for connection.

That experience stayed with me.

Because I realised that expertise matters.

But so does human connection.

I think that's one of the reasons IASH.sg became what it is today.

If you visit our counsellor profiles, you'll notice many of us openly share parts of our own stories.

Because we believe people deserve to know there is a human being sitting across from them.

Someone who understands that life can be messy too..

--

As for meaning, this was something I thought about for a very long time too.

Because when you've spent years feeling lost, it's hard not to ask:

"What's the point of all this?"

What I've learnt is that meaning is not always something we discover first.

Sometimes it only makes sense looking backwards.

Sometimes it emerges from the things we've lived through.

The struggles. The loneliness. The questions we carried for years.

Turning pain into purpose.

Turning loneliness into connection.

So to you out there trying to find meaning?

Look inward, I believe in you.

Take care,
Hernping

14/06/2026

Today I watched a movie called "Disclosure Day"

And even though the reviews going into it were mixed.

I honestly thought the movie was GREAT (My wife disagrees😅)

But I’ve always loved science fiction stuff since I was kid.

Aliens. UFOs.
Secrets of the universe.
Anything hidden and unknown.

But other than all of that, there was one theme underlying this movie.

Empathy.

And although I won’t spoil the movie too much,
I think that was the part that stayed with me too

Though as Ironic as it sounds, there was a challenging bit throughout the movie that challenged my "empathy".

A certain loud somebody seated right behind us talking loudly throughout the movie.

And to be honest, it was a little annoying at the start.

And a younger version of me would’ve turned around angrily.
Would’ve been irritated.
Would’ve really wanted to react.

But this time, strangely, I just didn’t feel the need to do that anymore.

Instead I found myself thinking:

That maybe not every moment needs more harshness added into it.

Because the truth is, there are already so many people in this world carrying invisible battles.

People having bad days.
People struggling silently.
People carrying exhaustion, pain, loneliness, grief, conditions we cannot see.

And I guess somewhere along the way, I stopped wanting to contribute more anger into a world that already feels heavy enough sometimes.

Not because kindness is always easy.
Not because people are never inconsiderate.

But because behind so much of the harshness we encounter, there is often just another human being trying to get through life too.

BTW to be real with you, from the content of what this person was saying.

A part of me suspects this person was highly neurodivergent too.

It made me think this though, and don't mind me share this gentle reflection with you.

That maybe if we truly want the world to feel gentler.

It has to begin in these small moments between each other.

Just a little more kindness.

It starts from me and you :)

Take care,
Hernping

💙

P. S. Person was already hushed a few times. This is different from bystander effect okay! I think other people got it too

12/06/2026

I think sometimes, outside of our awareness, we carry a quiet heaviness into the weekend.

Sometimes it comes from doing too much for too long.

Sometimes it comes from feeling like you did not do enough.

Sometimes it is the exhaustion of it all.

And then the weekend arrives, and somehow things just feel a little heavier.

A little emptier. A little duller. A little harder to fully arrive into the weekend feeling okay.

But maybe not every heavy feeling needs to become something we urgently solve.

Maybe some weeks simply turn out this way.

And maybe the kindest thing we can do is to stop fighting ourselves so hard for feeling this heaviness too.

That even it feels like we are bringing heaviness into the weekend like a overpacked luggage.

We can leave it there at the door.

And let it sit.

Until we feel better, or at least better enough to unpack it.

To you out there...

I hope this week becomes a place for you to rest, instead of another place where we pressure ourselves to immediately feel better again.

Sometimes rest is not about fixing the feeling.

Sometimes it is simply about letting ourselves breathe while carrying it.

💙

P. S. Had a heavy week too.

But laying it all down here.

And then I'm going to embrace the weekend ahead, just like all of you :)

Kaya Toast for the Soul

04/08/2026

29/07/2026

21/07/2026

06/07/2026

02/07/2026

27/06/2026

24/06/2026

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12/06/2026

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