12/09/2026
I want to share something quite personal today.
I suffer from anxiety disorder.
People often see me smiling, talking, working and going about my day as usual. From the outside, I may look perfectly fine.
But what people don’t see is what sometimes happens inside me.
Anxiety can feel like my mind has a switch that I simply cannot turn off.
My thoughts keep running. One thought leads to another, then another. I replay conversations in my head. I worry about things that haven’t even happened. Sometimes I know logically that everything is okay, but my mind and body react as though something is terribly wrong.
My chest can feel tight. My heart races. My breathing becomes shallow. My shoulders creep upward without me noticing, my neck becomes stiff, and my muscles feel like they have been clenched for hours.
Sometimes I’m sitting completely still, but inside, it feels like I’ve been running a marathon.
And it is exhausting.
There are days when I desperately want to relax, but I don’t know how to tell my body that it is safe to let go.
That is why massage has become something meaningful to me.
For some people, massage may simply be a treat or a luxury. For me, it can be a moment when I finally feel the tension I’ve been carrying begin to release.
As the tightness in my shoulders and muscles slowly eases, I can feel my body becoming lighter. My breathing settles. My mind becomes a little quieter.
For that little while, I don’t have to solve anything.
I don’t have to think about tomorrow.
I don’t have to fight with my thoughts.
I can simply close my eyes, breathe, and allow myself to rest.
Massage doesn’t cure my anxiety, and I know managing an anxiety disorder is much bigger than that. But it is one of the things that helps me relax my tense body and gives me a moment of peace when everything inside me feels too loud.
Living with anxiety has taught me that a person can look completely okay and still be struggling underneath.
So if someone seems a little quieter, more tired, distant or overwhelmed, be gentle with them. You may not know what they are carrying.
And to anyone who understands this feeling because you live with anxiety too: I see you.
Sometimes getting through the day itself is an achievement.
I’m still learning how to live with my anxiety, how to listen to my body, and how to give myself the rest I need.
One day at a time. ❤️
