02/05/2026
Don’t blindly believe in heroes!
No one is always the hero. And no one the villain. And even taking a closer look at one specific action, defining whether you were the villain or hero is merely a matter of perspective.
Intuitively we know that to be true. Yet when it comes to applying this to how we see ourselves, we completely forget this.
What do you mean, we ask? Simple, take a simple event such as being let go by your employer. In the span of a lifetime, this happens at least once to all of us. We tend to make ourselves the hero of that that story; we tried to save the company from certain doom, and your line manager never liked you, was insecure and from the start felt threatened by you.
Did you really though, and did you line manager (really)? Often we know (rationally) that there are many reasons why the action can be justified, when looking at the situation from a different angle. So why don’t we want to see that perspective (until much later)?
The answer to that is simple too; we need to be the hero (and someone else the villain), to be able to digest the emotions around the loss you just suffered (eg of your job).
The phenomenon is not new, for as long as we looks speak, we have our blame on obvious enemies. In order to deal with the harshness of life. It’s be the start of all wars, of every genocide every committed.
So why wouldn’t this apply at micro level, inside your head?
Fact is that, knowing this, may not help you deal worth the next setback, but awareness of this tendency of our mind, will help our mind get to a more balanced (and for all parties involved a more helpful) perspective, faster.
In bigger situations, and with more complex (often trauma related) background, you may need help with this.
I can help you navigate.
Why me? Because I have taken this journey before.
For more about that, visit www.trijbels.com
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