10/20/2026
I’m no stranger to the grief that comes when a leader is revealed to be a source of harm. Still, I was gutted to learn recently that a teacher I trusted had been exposed for abuse of power and sexual harm. This rupture dismantled what I believed was wisdom that I had integrated into my own professional work. I’m also navigating feelings of betrayal for the ways I entrusted my own personal grief to his teachings.
I consider it a grace that my friend Chuck DeGroat’s book Who You’re Becoming arrived at my home, serving as a kind companion to not only my grief but also a balm against cynicism. Chuck examines the slow and intentional work of cultivating character, and he pushes back against a culture that tempts us to be relevant, influential, or revered. This book not only gave me guidance to grieve and tend to my own harms from unhealthy leaders, but ultimately invited me to examine my own path towards character. Each chapter offers practices that engage you with your soul and body, along with a rich list of resources for further study. I particularly appreciated the chapter “Ripened”, an exploration of suffering. He explores how safety, mentors, community, and living a story of purpose help to alchemize our sorrows.
If you find yourself weary of leaders, gurus, influencers...
If you are at the threshold of your own reckoning and awakening...
If you desire to see yourself and this world realign with love...
I highly recommend this book