What are the opening hours?

Monday 8am - 5pm Tuesday 12pm - 5:30pm Wednesday 6am - 5pm Thursday 9am - 5:30am Friday 6am - 12:30pm

Mending Life Mental Health Coaching, 577 Scravel Hill Road, Albany, OR (2026)

I'm Brian C***s- I am a board certified Master Mental Health Coach integrating mental, emotional and Spiritual Care (AACC, IBCC) and certified SYMBIS marriage and relationship mentor and facilitator with BS in Psychology.

07/28/2026

I keep thinking about a hard question. If the ten people closest to you rated how you make them feel, would your score be higher or lower than the one you'd give yourself?

I took my EI online at the Global Leadership Foundation. I scored an overall 85%. However, after asking a trusted partner to take it thinking of how they experience me, I scored 24 points lower.

Most emotional intelligence tests are self-report. Which means they measure how well you think you listen. How calm you believe you stay. How you intend to come across. They can't tell you what it's actually like to be in the room with you.And that's the part that matters, isn't it. Not the intention. The impact.

Something else I've noticed: a good overall score can hide one bad piece. Someone can be warm, perceptive, genuinely caring — and still come apart under pressure in a way their family plans around without ever saying so out loud.

Because people don't remember your average. They remember your worst twenty minutes on your hardest day.

I've sat with kind, self-aware people whose kids were quietly walking on eggshells. Both things were true at the same time. That's not hypocrisy. That's just being human without a mirror.

The bravest thing I've watched anyone do wasn't scoring well on an assessment. It was sitting down with the people they love and asking: "What am I like when I'm stressed? Tell me the truth. I won't defend myself."

No test can tell you how you're experienced. Only the people who love you can.

Maybe worth asking one of them this week.
Want to take a free Emotional Intelligence test and have a trusted person take it thinking of how they experience you? https://tests.globalleadershipfoundation.com/geit/eitest.html

07/20/2026

Toxic leadership is more than a “difficult personality.” It is a pattern of self‑centered, often abusive behavior that erodes trust, fractures teams, and leaves organizations worse than they were before. You see it in leaders who bully or manipulate, who treat people as tools rather than image‑bearers, and who care more about preserving their platform than serving their people.
The cost is high. Toxic leadership increases conflict, fuels burnout, undermines performance, and slowly drains the emotional and spiritual health of a community. Over time, good people either go silent, grow cynical, or simply leave.
Here are four practices that help push back against toxicity:
1. Name toxic behaviors clearly.
Learn to recognize patterns like bullying, public shaming, gaslighting, favoritism, and chronic blame‑shifting. Define what is unacceptable in your culture so people are not left guessing.
2. Create safe channels for honest feedback.
Healthy teams make it normal—not risky—to speak up about concerns. Anonymous feedback tools, open‑door policies, and regular check‑ins can surface issues early, before people are deeply harmed.
3. Hold leaders accountable for both results and relationships.
It is not enough for leaders to “get things done” if they consistently damage people along the way. Performance reviews, coaching, and clear consequences for harmful behavior communicate that how we lead matters as much as what we achieve.
4. Invest in emotionally healthy leadership.
Training in emotional intelligence, empathy, and conflict resolution helps leaders develop self‑awareness instead of leading from reactivity or insecurity. Communities thrive when leaders are willing to do their own inner work, receive feedback, and repent when they miss the mark.

References
Wolor, C. W., Ardiansyah, A., Rofaida, R., Nurkhin, A., & Rababah, M. A.Impact of toxic leadership on employee performance. Health Psychology Research, 10(4), 57551. https://10.52965/001c.57551

05/14/2026

Do you ever feel like setting boundaries, but are afraid of the cost, or don't know how? Read this article for a boost.
Then book a 25-minute free consult to discover next steps.
https://mendinglife.com/setting-boundaries

05/04/2026

Finding therapy, counseling, or coaching for normal life issues like communication, feeling stuck, or rumination can be difficult and anxiety-producing. You don't need to figure it out alone. I can provide a safe, non-judgmental space to for you to see if I'm a fit for helping you get to where you want to go.

04/27/2026

Victory over rampant frustration starts with surrender and trust. Jeremiah 10:23 says, "I know, Lord, that the way of man is not in himself, that it is not in man who walks to direct his steps." A habit of frustration can end with a process of surrender, spiritual reframing, avoiding self-pity and self-reliance, and staying in honest community.

Pause: Slow the reaction before it becomes speech or action.
Name: Identify the blocked desire, fear, expectation, or loss.
Pray: Take the whole thing honestly to God (Lament).
Share: Bring it to a trusted, faithful friend, mature in Christ.
Be Wise: Choose the next faithful step, not the loudest thought in your head.

04/11/2026

Empathy is both a biological capacity and a learnable skill. Research with clinicians has shown that structured empathy training can have sustained positive effects on empathic capacity and clinical practice (Mehta et al., 2021). We are not simply “born with” a fixed amount of empathy; specific perspective‑taking exercises, communication‑skills training, and mindfulness and compassion practices can reliably increase empathy and empathetic cognitive ability over time (Mehta et al., 2021).

Empathic responsiveness signals reliability and emotional safety, which fosters secure attachment and a greater willingness to depend on each other, deepening connection. Research with cohabitating couples has found that higher empathy in one or both partners is associated with better romantic relationship quality for both individuals (Ulloa et al., 2017). Empathy tells the other person, “You can bring your real self here—and it will be met, not dismissed.”

Empathy also moves relationships beyond transactional role expectations
(“I’m just doing what a partner/friend/pastor is supposed to do”)
toward real emotional meeting (“I feel you, and you feel me”). When that happens, we’re no longer just performing a role; we’re encountering a person.

Over time, this kind of empathy can help heal past relational injuries—experiences of not being seen, heard, or believed—and build new patterns of connection that are safer, deeper, and more life‑giving. If we treat empathy as a trainable practice rather than a fixed trait, we open the door for real growth in how we love, lead, and live with one another.

Address

577 Scravel Hill Road
Albany, OR
97322

Opening Hours

Monday	8am - 5pm
Tuesday	12pm - 5:30pm
Wednesday	6am - 5pm
Thursday	9am - 5:30am
Friday	6am - 12:30pm

Telephone

+15037983054

Website

https://mending.vccalbany.com/brian-coons, https://mendinglife.com/, https://www.psychologytoday.com/profile/1452471, ht

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