07/28/2026
So much of our inner work begins with a genuine desire to grow. But somewhere along the way, growth can quietly become another way of rejecting who we are now.
We begin treating fear, grief, anger, attachment, and even the ego as problems to overcome—as though healing means becoming someone less complicated, less reactive, and easier to accept.
In this new reflection, I explore the movement from self-improvement to self-relationship: learning to remain present with ourselves while we grow, rather than turning the present self into a project to fix.
Perhaps the deepest spiritual work is not becoming someone else, but learning how to remain in loving relationship with the person we already are.
When We Become a Project to FixSo much of our inner work begins with a sincere desire to grow. We want to be less reactive, more peaceful, more confident, more trusting, and more spiritually aware. We go to therapy, meditate, journal, read, reflect, and seek insight because we want to understand our...