10/07/2026
Yesterday my daughter turned 13.
And uff da.
This one hit me harder than I expected. š„¹
There is something kinda strange about raising a daughter while realizing how much of your own womanhood youāve had to unlearn.
How many of us learned to be easy, agreeable, helpful, pleasant, and available.
To notice what everyone else needed before we noticed ourselves.
To tolerate a little more. Push through. Stay ānice.ā Ignore the signals saying, this doesnāt feel right or this is too much.
And now Iām watching my sweet girl stand at the edge of becoming a young woman while following the conversations surrounding the Cornell allegations these past few weeks.
And it has me likeā¦
F*ck.
I can teach her to trust herself.
That her body gets to have an opinion.
That she can say no, change her mind, take up space, be inconvenient, leave, and ask for help.
That she does not owe ANYONE access to her body, attention, affection, or time.
But I cannot make the world perfectly safe for her. š
And that f*cking sucks.
Because I never want her to believe that if something happens to her, it means she failed to listen closely enough, leave quickly enough, say no clearly enough, or protect herself well enough.
Raising her right now feels like holding bothā¦.
Helping her stay deeply connected to herself.
And reminding her that she is never responsible for someone else choosing not to honor her humanity.
There is so much I want for her.
But lately Iāve been thinking about what I hope she never has to UNLEARN.
I hope she stays close to herself.
I hope she knows kindness does not require endless availability.
I hope she knows someone elseās disappointment does not mean she has done something wrong.
I hope she can belong deeply to others without abandoning herself.
Maybe thatās part of why my work with women feels so personal.
I spend my days with women finding their way back to parts of themselves I hope my daughter never has to leave.
Happy 13th birthday, my sweet and spicy girl.
May you always, always belong to yourself. š¤
(Of course I got her permission to share these photos)