06/17/2026
In a society obsessed with pain free birth, what would it look like to choose something that asks you to feel it all? What would it look like to choose openness rather than avoidance? Could it be that the pain of childbirth has meaning in itself?
There is something deeply human about willingly stepping into difficulty when it serves a greater purpose. Each contraction a reminder that birth is not simply an experience, but a transformation of mind, body, and soul.
When we stop working to avoid the pain, we begin to work with birth and the process unfolds before our eyes. When we recognize that many of life’s greatest gifts come after extreme hardship, we can see how birth is no different.
Could it be that labor is actually an initiation—a passage through a threshold where control becomes impossible and surrender becomes necessary? An experience that feels less like “doing” and more like allowing.
What if, in allowing yourself to feel it all, your relationship with pain and discomfort changes?
A new knowing that pain does not have to be suffering or meaningless, that it can be purposeful, that it can crack you wide open, that it is the way toward transformation, is crucial. Because when you hit what feels like your threshold, knowing these things is often the only way through.
How many times, as a midwife, have I held the hands of someone crossing over that threshold, feeling absolutely terrified of what is next, and doing it anyways? Every. Single. Time. Whether their birth is vaginal or cesarean, there is pain and that pain is purposeful.
So, no, I don’t buy into this idea of pain free birth. Instead, I truly believe that the pain is a crucial part of the journey, and that by accepting it, we allow for our own transformation to unfold.