https://www.facebook.com/438335932897687/

St. Joe Ng Pack's Institute of Questionable Medicine

Home
United States
Amherst, OH
St. Joe Ng Pack's Institute of Questionable Medicine

The St. Joe Ng Pack Institute of Questionable Medicine is a cheap and not very effective alternative to most hospitals. DISCLAIMER IN LONG DESCRIPTION.

While most of our equipment may be second hand or scavenged (band aids, blood, surgical equipment) we do offer very affordable healthcare and accept all forms of insurance. Our physician staff consists of the venerable Dr. Joe Ng Pack who graduated from the University of Phoenix with an doctorate degree in Philosophy and Underwater Basket Weaving and is also the founder of our fine institution. Ou

r surgical, nursing and administrative staff also consists of Dr. Ng Pack and this helps provide a homely and comfortable atmosphere for our patients who will know that the entire staff understands the problem they have. Thank you for allowing us at the St. Joe Ng Pack's Institute of Questionable Medicine to help you get better and we hope to see you again soon! DISCLAIMER: The St. Joe Ng Pack's Institute of questionable medicine is not an actual medical institution. Joe Ng Pack is neither an actual saint or an actual doctor, all posts on this page are intended as humor and comedy. If you're seriously looking on facebook for medical advice then you're probably an idiot. If you actually take our silliness for actual medical advice then you're an even bigger idiot. We cannot be held responsible for your stupidity. If you need medical attention, visit an actual doctor.

02/24/2023

Come in free next medical when you get 2 visits in. Medical scan valid days only when stopping in locally when you visit. Do not do delay request when come in for visit today.

01/02/2023

精猫陈冰猫鞠躬哇李神清明鞠躬哇周玲玲明禅鞠躬哇精猫陈冰猫鞠躬哇李神清明鞠躬哇周玲玲明禅鞠躬哇精猫陈冰猫鞠躬哇李神清明鞠躬哇周玲玲明禅鞠躬哇

09/07/2022

Stop by today to take advantage of our new curbside amputation clinic! Loss of limb doesn't have to be an all day chore at St. Joe Ng Pack's Institute of Questionable Medicine. When you arrive be sure to text "OHGODHELPME" followed by the number listed on the parking space. One of our inept wage slav- I mean highly qualified general surgeons will then come right to your vehicle! Extra tourniquet, and cauterization fees may apply.

No refunds.

01/19/2022

Congratulations to a Mr. Greg Mariner. He just so happens to be lucky amputation patient #1,000,000 here at the St. Joe Ng Pack's Institute of Questionable Medicine! Mr. Mariner had been suffering from a nasty case of athlete's foot when he first arrived. "No more!" Dr. Ng Pack exclaimed. For his continued patronage, we're awarding Mr. Mariner with a one day parking pass to the Institute. We value our customers!

05/10/2021

Our "interns" in research and development have been hard at work coming up with this revolutionary new product. We are thrilled to introduce the St. Joe's fart filter. Over the past year we have not been wasting our time in researching this "coronavirus pandemic" but instead on actual medical innovations that work. Are you tired of blasting dirty farts that smell like a filthy sulphur pit? Well nows your chance to filter your farts and preserve the environment. Stay tuned as we have more innovations coming!

11/16/2020

We are now accepting applications for the "Sniff a Covid Blanket" Program. If you or someone you know would be interested in getting Covid for "research" please let us know.

03/01/2020

Client submitted query Feb 28th auto response:
"So for some reason my neck hurts and I can't look to the left. Is there a St. Joe Ng Pack's Chiropractors Office of Alignment?"

We see this a lot actually. Your problem would be the fact that you assumingly still have the fundamentally obsolete neck we're all born with. We strongly reccomend you upgrade to our patented STUMP system. Sternally Tethered neck assisted Ulterior Mechanical Pump. We only use the highest of quality materials we find laying around the bin. Including but not limited to harve...er, donated femurs, and rebar.
This also happens to be our cure for whiplash and severed headed...nes.

12/03/2019

Humans do a lot of sitting. We sit in our homes, at the office, on the toilet, and we all hate bad seats. Even when we aren't sitting we wish we had a nice place to sit down! Haven't you ever been to one of your children's stupid sports games and had to painfully wait for it all to be over whilst sitting on an uncomfortable steel bleacher?
Today, we're very pleased to announce our newest innovative enhancement surgery. The inflatable ass! That's right, you can sit comfortably anywhere with our patented Assflation technology! Just download the proprietary St. Joe Ng Pack's Institute of Questionable Medicine Assflation app and with the touch of a button, your surgically grafted Assisted Seat System or ASS-Bags will inflate via a super duper secure Bluetooth connection to your desired comfort level. All the way from "Long Haul Trucker" setting to "Bean Bag Chair" mode.

(Warning, do not use the Assflation app within the 20ft radius of another individual fitted with ASS-Bags. Some users may experience undesired Assflation activation when in close proximity of TV and garage remotes, as well as cellphones and WiFi signals. The St. Joe Ng Pack's Institute of Questionable Medicine is not responsible for ASS-Bag related injuries)

10/31/2019

Since Facebook's outrageously strict standards on the term "discriminatory" means we can't make an official job posting on Facebook, we're confident our "outreach program" can work around this issue. Let's just say Facebook's administration will be hearing from our expert team of lawyers we hired from an East side strip mall we found next to a Motel 6. If you'd like to apply for this position here is the copied text from our official listing hosted by Cleveland Backpages:

Corpse/Biowaste Disposal Technician:
Applicant must be able to consistently lift 250lbs for 24+ hours. Applicant must be available on call 24/7. Applicant must be accepting of extended exposure of asbestos, cyanide, bubonic plague, carbon monoxide, hepatitis, radiation, or lead. Applicant must be willing to sign death waiver, non-compete, and non-disclosure forms before employment initation. No former experience needed. No proof of citizenship needed. No means of transportation needed. (Permanent on site boarding will be provided upon employment)

Please submit your cover letter and resume to:
100%[email protected]

01/16/2019

No we do not accept "payment plans" we either send you to collections or stea....erm help you donate your kidney to science for restituations paid. No we do not care that this is how non-profits "should" function, we are only in it for the tax exempt status.

01/02/2019

To ring in the new year and wish for a joyous 2019 we here at the institute have implemented our "Live like a Siamese" program. Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be a conjoined twin? To only use one side of your body? Or perhaps to share the same bu****le as someone else? Well we here at the institute have you covered! For a small fee you and a partner will he conjoined! Simply pick which one of you will give up your organs as sharing is caring, and you will simply live off your friends organs.

Do not ask about reversing the procedure we haven't figured that out yet.

06/18/2018

Our Organ Drone Delivery service (ODD) is still in its beta testing phase. Please be patient. If any organs were wrongfully delivered to your residence from the St. Joe Ng Pack's Institute of Questionable Medicine please contact our order processing dept. at 1-800-MYORGAN.

Address

Amherst, OH

Website

facebook.com

Alerts

Be the first to know and let us send you an email when St. Joe Ng Pack's Institute of Questionable Medicine posts news and promotions. Your email address will not be used for any other purpose, and you can unsubscribe at any time.

Want your practice to be the top-listed Clinic in Amherst?