05/07/2026
It’s time for me to log off and put my phone on DND for a little bit.
I’ve been on a social media diet for a few months now, and what started as an experiment has become something I want to protect. I love how much more time I have to be in nature, read, and build real friendships. These are things that have truly been moving the needle on my well-being.
This has become the natural next step for me.
Before I go, I want to leave you with something useful, because if the analog life is calling you, too, I want to give you some real, research-backed advice on how adult friendships form and what makes them stick.
Sociologist Rebecca Adams identified three conditions required for friendships to develop, including:
1- Proximity
2- Repeated unplanned interactions
3- A setting that encourages vulnerability
And while adulthood has a way of removing all three, research from the University of Kansas suggests it takes 40-60 hours to form a casual friendship and over 200 hours to reach close-friend status. Those hours are most effective for friendship-building if they’re spent outside of work.
So, practically, that means you should:
• Put yourself in situations where you’ll see the same people often. This can happen with a class, club, regular volunteer shift, or walking group as long as you show up consistently. Networking and work-related connecting doesn’t count!
• Try to push past the awkwardness by taking initiative, being consistent, and being more vulnerable.
• Tend the connection once it’s made by checking in, showing up to things that matter to them, and letting them know they matter to you.
Chronic social isolation carries health risks comparable to smoking 15 ci******es a day, making your friendships essential.
I’ll be back in this space when it feels right. Until then, you can find me at [drmelaniemcnally.com](http://drmelaniemcnally.com).