IN PLAY Family Counseling

10/01/2026

FIDGETEERS
Slime Era
Hands on Learning 😅

09/12/2026

I remember when I first decided to go back to school to study Play Therapy, many people had never heard of it. Well, the word is getting out now 💜

Attend this FREE event now

09/08/2026

💜best job in the world 💜

“In the therapy hour-once the child has established confidence in the therapist and has accepted the therapist even as she has accepted him—he shares his inner world with her and, by the sharing, extends the horizons of both their worlds.”

― Virginia M. Axline

08/19/2026

Lookie lookie 👀 🎉 so much fun!

08/07/2026

You do you boo boo

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that a lot of reactive people become this way because they were never taught by example how to authentically communicate their needs.

They weren’t taught how to communicate to be understood, or how to listen to understand—they were taught to be right or get punished, defend themselves or get demeaned, and to keep their upsets to themselves or get shamed.

I’ve realized that a lot of people have learned offense or defense as their first language.

But what I’ve also realized is that whether it’s a laughing emoji thrown at something serious, or lashing out before even trying to understand—other people’s reactions rarely have anything to do with me.

Instead, their reactivity stems from not knowing there’s any other option.

I notice the same triggers in myself.
When someone demeans me or lashes out, my first instinct is to reach for that same weapon.

The people I admire, however, have a much different relationship to their triggers and their trauma, even under provocation.

Instead of shifting into reactivity, they pause. They soothe themselves and recalibrate back to communicating what’s most meaningful to them.

They recognize how impossible it is to be in survival mode and problem-solve at the same time. And problem-solving is always their priority.

So I try to practice this myself when I’m triggered.

Before I move to protect myself, I try to remember to soothe my wounded parts and then access the part of me that’s healing.

And from this place, when someone triggers me, even though I can still feel the contraction, the embarrassment and the intense urge to defend, I can remind myself that other people’s issues aren’t mine to carry.

Their strategies for winning an argument aren’t mine to adopt or recirculate.

And nobody has the power to erase my perspective—only expand it.

Sometimes, if I have the energy, I’ll ask: What do you mean by that? Where’s this coming from? What happened to you personally that gave you this belief system?

And many times, it’s like handing someone a door they didn’t know was there. Maybe no one ever asked. Maybe being a jerk is the only way they’ve ever been seen.

That said—I’ve also realized it’s not my job to try and get through to every reactive person. I’ve realized that some people in survival mode are too constricted to reach at all.

I still get upset when I cross paths with a reactive person, especially someone who laughs at the violation of other people’s human rights.

I wonder, do they not see that we are each other in different bodies with different circumstances? Do they not understand that it’s impossible to truly care for ourselves while being ok with the dehumanizing of others?

And yet, when I listen to their reactivity through my healed self, I can understand that they developed this callousness because in their experience, no one ever protected their humanity—so why would they extend that to a stranger?

And I also realize, that when someone’s whole worldview has narrowed to “what about me,” there’s often no conversation to be had.

I don’t give up sharing my perspective—I just give up trying to change theirs.

And every once in a while, without my own reactivity in the way, the space opens up—making room for curiosity to step in where self-defense used to sit.

JLK

(Image is a woman whose head is a toilet. Words say: Your mind is not a toilet.
Other people's crap doesn't belong there.)

08/04/2026

Reading is self care! Check out this map such a great resource 🫶

06/08/2026

Once, there was a girl who wanted to say no, but kept saying yes.

What she didn’t realize though, was that all those no’s she had always wanted to say didn’t just go away.

They were stored in her uterus.

And by the time she was a woman, she had collected so many no’s, that when she got pregnant, the child in her belly barely had room to grow.

So to make room, he filled himself with every single no.

And when he was born, all those no’s were born as well.

And the little boy began to use all those no’s that his mama buried inside.

And his mama didn’t know what to do…

It didn’t matter if it was time to try on shoes or talk with a new friend or do his homework or go to the doctor—over and over, the little boy said no. Without apology.

If she asked if he wanted a little bit of soup, he’d say, “How ‘bout a little bit of no.”

When she told him it was time to go to school, he’d say, “No thank you. Not today.”

Grandparents and teachers began to express their concern along with their judgment.

“Aren’t you going to do something?” they all asked.

“I’m trying,” she said.

And she was.

She tried to be soft. She tried to be stern. She tried to be funny. She tried to be inspirational.

She even tried shaming him the way those others from her past had done to make her say yes.

But her son stayed strong.

“Why can’t you just say yes like I always have,” the mama asked her son.

“Because I know better.”

“Maybe so,” his mama muttered, walking away.

“Maybe he really is onto something,” she thought to herself.

Because the more she paid attention, the more she noticed that his no’s made him happy.

Happier than she seemed saying yes all the time.

And at some point, she waved the white flag and stopped trying altogether and just stayed home.

But after awhile, something interesting happened.

She realized, “Life is kind of peaceful when you say no.

“And comforting.

“And dare I admit it, a lot less stressful.”

In that space with her son, she found herself saying yes to things she’d always wanted to do.

Creative stuff, rather than all the things she was told to say yes to, which never did much, other than to keep the peace with everyone but herself.

And she realized, “When you say no to the things that don’t feel right, a space opens up to say yes to the things that do.”

Even her son was discovering things he wanted to say yes to.

“It’s a stressful world,” she thought to herself. “But it’s a lot more stressful when you lose the connection to what gives you a sense of wholeness.

“And I think that's what I’ve been missing by saying yes all the time… I never got to consider for myself what I wanted to say yes to.

“And I never felt comfortable inside my body carrying the weight of all those no’s that had only been trying to help me understand who I was. And who I wasn’t.”

And she felt gratitude towards her son, for introducing her to that word she had ignored so many times.

‘Yes’ is sacred.

But ‘no’ might be a little more sacred.

Because ‘no’ creates the space so that you can discover what you want to say yes to.

-JLK

03/30/2026

Fidgeteers Motto
*Fidgets are not toys they’re TOOLS*

This is my first semester teaching this class and it’s been a blast! I have learned so much! The students are gaining insight into how to balance their own sensory needs. Next week we are forming our Fidgeteer Code/Rules/ Guidelines? Will be fun to brainstorm! Any ideas?

My #1 Always maintain control of the ——- slime, sand, water, glue etc etc etc

02/10/2026

Packed up for class—Any guesses on today’s activities?

02/05/2026

Play Therapy is not magic, but it can be *Magical*

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