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That Clay Couple Providing life-changing relationship renovation to get you closer to relationship goals w/ Bae & self

You know what she sacrificed. You understand she had a difficult life, too. But sometimes you see how other mothers spea...
10/15/2026

You know what she sacrificed. You understand she had a difficult life, too. But sometimes you see how other mothers speak to their children, celebrate them, or comfort them when they’re hurting, and something in you aches.

Not because you want somebody else’s mother. You wanted yours to love you like that.

Maybe you’re not wishing for a different mother. You’re grieving the relationship you never got to have with the one you have.

That’s a painful thing to admit when you’ve been taught that being grateful means you shouldn’t have anything to complain about.

You can grieve what you needed but didn’t receive. That’s one of the experiences we’re exploring in my Mother Wound class, October 22 & 29. Registration is through the link in my bio.-Auntie Ny

Some of y’all grew up wanting just one thing. A home where you felt safe and loved without worrying about what might hap...
10/11/2026

Some of y’all grew up wanting just one thing. A home where you felt safe and loved without worrying about what might happen next. Now you’re grown. You have your own home, pay your own bills, and no one can tell you what to do. So why are you still afraid of upsetting people?

When your mother was upset with you, could you still go to her for love and comfort? Or did you have to wait until she was in a better mood or do something to get back on her good side? You may not have realized it, but you were learning that keeping someone happy was how you kept their love.

You might still be doing it. Apologizing when you haven’t done anything wrong. Saying yes when you want to say no. Getting anxious when somebody becomes quiet because you think you’ve upset them.

Now, you’ve got your own home now, but you’re still living by rules you learned in someone else’s house.

I made you a FREE Mother Wound Workbook to help you recognize what you learned growing up and how it’s affecting your life today. Get yours through the link in my bio. -Auntie Ny

10/08/2026

You know what can mess with you for years? Being proud of something that cost you mentally.
Maybe people admired how self-sufficient you were. Maybe they called you responsible, dependable, low-drama, strong. You wore that like a badge.
Sometimes those traits came with a price.

You got really good at noticing everybody else. Their moods. Their needs. Their disappointment. Their expectations. But never good at noticing when you were overextending yourself, swallowing resentment or accepting relationships where you did most of the emotional work.

Sometimes you don’t notice until you crash out. Your blood pressure is up. You can’t sleep. Your anxiety is through the roof. Your body is saying what you kept refusing to say. That’s what folks get confused. They think the problem is, “I need better boundaries” or, “I need to go vegan.”

Sometimes, yes. Do that AND deal with the deeper problem. You were trained to pay attention to everyone else before you learned how to pay attention to yourself.

This pattern will follow you into friendships, marriage, parenting and work if you don’t catch it. You’re not stuck. You’re solving the wrong problem.
If this hit a little too close, grab my Mother Wound Freebie in the link. You’ll see the patterns underneath the patterns in my live class coming this month. DM or comment LIVE for info. -Auntie Ny

10/07/2026

Everyone thought Mother loved you well.
She showed up looking good. Kept your hair done. Bought the clothes. Bragged on you. Maybe she told folks how proud she was of you.

Then, y’all went home and no one saw what you felt.

The criticism. The coldness. The competition. The affection you had to earn. The way she could compliment someone else’s daughter and somehow leave you wondering what was wrong with you.

Blind spot pivot coming! Your mother loved you publicly. You can spend years arguing with yourself about what you got from her cause she ain’t listening to you!

“She did a lot for you.”
“She wasn’t a bad mother.”
“Other people had it worse.”

All of that can be true and you still have a mother wound. Recovery doesn’t require you to make her a villain. Start by stopping the argument with yourself.

When an old memory pops up, don’t ask, “Was she a good mother or a bad mother?” Find out what you needed in that moment, and did I get it.

The answer will take you somewhere guilt and blame never will.
This is the conversation you get in my Mother Wound work. We’re not sitting around blaming mothers. We’re looking at what happened, what you learned because of it, and what you carry into your relationships with yourself and everybody else.
If this hit your body somewhere, grab my Mother Wound freebie in the link. -Auntie Ny

10/06/2026

Your nervous system isn’t getting what it needs to feel secure. You know ya’ll are together, but the distance between you is loud!
Emotional safety is built through consistent actions. The small stuff matters. The grand gestures or apologies after damage won’t do it for you. You wanna feel confident about ya’ll on a routine basis, in the absence of selfies, other folks or events.

You keep trying to regulate you instead of noticing the relationship itself is unregulated. You’d be fine if your connection would recalibrate.

If you’re in North Carolina, I provide therapy for adults and couples and accept insurance. Support doesn’t have to be a luxury to be effective.

Save this if it gave voice to something you’ve been feeling. Share it with someone who keeps blaming themselves. -Auntie Ny

Everybody keeps saying Tyler Perry’s “Doing Life” is a beautiful story about humanity and not judging people by their pa...
10/05/2026

Everybody keeps saying Tyler Perry’s “Doing Life” is a beautiful story about humanity and not judging people by their past.
I wonder would folks feel the same if this wasn’t a movie?

If your friend was a single mom and told you she met a man who had done time for attempted murder, lived in transitional housing and was rebuilding his life, most people would say:

“Girl, you have a child. Have you lost your mind?”

“He already tried to kill somebody once.”

“Are you that desperate for a man?”

Most people would hear prison, attempted murder and transitional housing and stop right there. Put that same man on a screen. Let us see how he treats people when nobody is watching. Let us see his accountability, restraint and humanity.

Now we see a person.That’s what got me.

I do premarital counseling, and I see two major blind spots. We screen the past and ignore the present.

You’ll check somebody’s record, job, credit and exes. How do they handle being wrong? What happens when you tell them no? Can they take accountability without blaming everybody else? Where does their anger go now?

A record tells you what somebody did.
It does NOT automatically tell you who they are today. A clean background does not automatically mean somebody is safe.

Folks will look excellent on paper and have never learned accountability, repair or self-reflection.
Meanwhile, somebody with a terrible past may have faced exactly who they were, what they did and what needed to change.

I’m not saying ignore red flags. I’m definitely not saying marry somebody because they have a redemption story.

I’m saying pay attention to how quickly you decide who is dangerous simply because their danger is documented.

People can change. Patterns can repeat.

Before you marry somebody, figure out whether you’re looking at real change or the same behavior dressed differently.

Before the ring and before the paperwork, we look at what y’all can’t see, what the Imam or Pastor may not tell you and what you may be afraid to ask. -Auntie Ny

10/04/2026

You’re tired of being told to let it go.
“To move past it.” If you knew how, you would.”

Knowing somehow happened years ago doesn’t tell you what to do when it still bothers you today. Your whole body searches for answers you don’t have.

When you catch yourself replaying whatever happened to you, put your feet on the floor and answer, “What am I responding to right now, and what am I remembering?” Keep it on your phone for the moments you need help knowing where to start.

Your Emotional Reset Freebie is waiting at the link in my bio. -Auntie Ny

Your nervous system pays attention to the little things. Food in your stomach. Warmth. Slower movement. A familiar smell...
10/03/2026

Your nervous system pays attention to the little things. Food in your stomach. Warmth. Slower movement. A familiar smell. Sitting somewhere comfortable without immediately getting back up to handle something.

None of those things erase trauma, stress, or anxiety. It will give your body information.

Nothing is chasing me and I ain’t gonna run behind nothin’ right now. Come down and calm down.
I’m all for some deep healing clinical work. And sometimes therapy looks like homemade cookies made with almond flour, hot tea, and allowing yourself to sit your behind down.
What will you do within 24 hrs for your nervous system? -Auntie Ny

10/03/2026

Some moms and dad’s grieve in silence. Not because they don’t love their child, but because the life they thought they were stepping into changed on them.

And the judgement. Folks will shame you for speaking this way. The grief sits heavy and makes you question yourself and for having the thought. Nothing is wrong with you. You’re human.

Here’s something to do when grief kicks in. Sit with one truth at a time. Don’t overwhelm yourself.

Repeat after me, “My love for my child is real. My sadness is real. Both can be truth at the same time.” Let that settle in your body instead of fighting it. Take the war out of your chest.

If this hit home for you, share it with another Parent who’s been holding their breath. And follow for more conversations that don’t make you feel crazy for being human.-Auntie Ny

10/02/2026

Sometimes you want connection, conversation, and somebody who genuinely gets you all at the exact same time. The thought of going somewhere, having to meet new people, or being “on” gets exhausting.

That is where loneliness gets sneaky.

You can enjoy being alone and still want meaningful connection. Both can be true.

Your question may not be, “Why don’t I want to be around people?”

It may be, “What kind of connection actually feels good to me?”

What do you do when you’re lonely but don’t actually feel like socializing?-Auntie Ny

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