Oakland Hills Counseling, LLC

08/04/2026

When we’re stressed and in a dark “winter” season, we’re usually in survival mode. But if you’re in a lighter “summer” season, then you’re uniquely postured to proactively set goals, build healthy habits, and leverage your energy to prepare for other future seasons! It’s helpful to take inventory of your current season’s assets and consider what you can re-invest for future seasonal gains. How will you leverage this summer for the long-haul? Link in bio for a FREE resource on leveraging your summer!

05/15/2026

We want to say “Happy Mother’s Day” to all of the moms in our community! Your role is irreplaceable, and we’re incredibly thankful for all that you do!

04/27/2026

04/14/2026

How safe are your children when they use phones or screens online or scrolling social media?

Join Erin Bankowski, MA, LLPC, one of our staff therapists who specializes in working with children, adolescents and families as she shares her personal and clinical experience in helping keep kids safe. She’ll share research and practical strategies and tools to keep up with this ever-changing and sometimes dangerous “portal” to the online world.

04/08/2026

What are you up to this Monday night? Come join us for the second session in our three-part series on building healthy marriage relationships! We’ll be exploring how the conflict cycles we default to can actually be leveraged to increase our connection with each other. Come with your spouse, or come on your own! We’re counting down the days, and seats are limited. See link in bio to register!

04/03/2026

In closing out our series of posts on Emotional Gridlock, let’s consider some practical application steps!

In order to break out of negative reciprocity in our emotional responses, we need to slow down when we find ourselves caught in conflict. Identify your repeated reaction patterns, and instead of blaming your partner, be the first one to name your own impact. Consider your partner’s emotional needs, and be brave enough to ask about their underlying fears. Finally, step in to offer repair attempts early and often!

Remember, the way to break out of gridlock requires a discipline of humility and courageous responsibility in addition to the commitment to ongoing repair! No relationship is perfect, but the best ones are those that are committed to the ongoing work of connection amongst the conflict!

03/27/2026

When conflict erupts, if your FIRST MOVE is humility & a willingness to take personal ownership of your responses, you’ll reinforce positive emotional reciprocity! But what does this look like in real time?

Instead of focusing on at your significant other is doing, start by looking at yourself. Reactive self-protection or blame-shifting don’t work. What works, even though it’s harder, is a humble choice that starts with our commitment to acknowledging what is true. Speaking the truth will help to rebuild emotional safety, which will increase trust. The more trust you’ve established, the stronger base you’ll have for secure attachment!

See link bio for more information on how to get out of “emotional gridlock.”

03/26/2026

What are you up to this Monday night? Come join us for the first group in our three-part series on building healthy marriage relationships! We’ll be exploring how strong communication skills are the foundation for reinforcing emotional connection. Come with your spouse, or come on your own! We’re counting down the days, and seats are limited. See link in bio to register! 📋

03/20/2026

One of the bravest questions you can ask yourself is “What am I like when I DON’T get what I want? It takes courage to reflect on our own reactions, especially if we’re not proud of them.

But have you considered that being honest about your default reactions may be the key to breaking out of the emotional gridlock you face in your relationships?

Having the courage to be honest about our weaknesses requires humility, humility requires courage, and courage requires maturity. But in the end, happy couples are the ones who are willing to empathize with their spouse’s perspective, take personal responsibility for their part, and are willing to forgive. Instead of falling into the two extremes of blame-shifting or resentful acquiescence, growing emotionally and spiritually means being willing to risk honest self-assessment and then lean back into relational connection.

Would you like to read more about the power of humility and truth-telling in untangling emotional conflict? See link in bio for the full article on emotional gridlock!

03/18/2026

When you experience conflict in your relationship, your initial response or FIRST MOVE will fuel either a positive or negative cycle. If you quickly move into self-protection and blaming, then the conflict will spiral into disconnection and broken trust.

But if your FIRST MOVE is one of humility and taking ownership, then you’ll lean into emotional connection and strengthen your sense of safety & trust with each other! The safer you feel, the more likely you will be willing to respond with humility the next time conflict comes around! To escape emotional gridlock, make the FIRST MOVE of humility!

See link in bio for more insights on Emotional Gridlock!