Shiloh Counseling LLC

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Shiloh Counseling LLC Dr. Clay Brigance is the founder, clinical director and lead counselor at Shiloh Counseling, LLC. Clay is also able to see couples.

Clay's passion in therapy is to join you on your life journey to finding wholeness again. Clay is a doctorate level counselor who is able to see pre-teens and teens age 10 and up, as well as adults. Clay is also uniquely qualified to do psychological evaluations for children age 6 to 17. With nearly 10 years of experience as a school psychologist in the public schools, Clay can provide an informative evaluation for your child to help you find answers as well as guide you through the IEP process in plan language. However, Clay's ultimate passion is counseling individuals and couples who are navigating infertility and reproductive loss. Clay has become a leading researcher and therapist for this special population, being a featured speaker for the Institute of Reproductive Grief Care, The Crossing Church, and The American Psychological Association for how to counsel couples navigating infertility.

10/13/2026

I’ll be honest: memorizing this TEDx talk has been brutal.

And not just because of the words.

Rehearsing at least three times a day means revisiting my own infertility experience at least three times a day. The uncertainty. The grief. The questions I carried about myself. And what my wife and I went through together.

It’s one thing to write about those memories. It’s another to speak them out loud, again and again, while preparing to share them with a room full of people.

Some parts are still hard to say.

But today, I’m ready.

Not because the story has stopped being emotional, but because I know why I’m telling it.

My hope is that someone hears it and feels a little less alone. That someone reconsiders what being “strong” has cost them. That a couple realizes they don’t have to hide their pain from each other to protect their relationship.

On October 17 in Billings, Montana, I’ll be sharing:

The Silent Shattering: How We Redefine Strength When Life Doesn’t Go as Planned

I’ve put a lot of myself into this talk. I’m excited—and ready—to share it. ❤️

Learn more about TEDxBillings:
https://tedxbillings.com/2026-presenters/

10/12/2026

I’d love to bring you along as I get ready for TEDxBillings. ❤️

On October 17 in Billings, Montana, I’ll be sharing:

The Silent Shattering: How We Redefine Strength When Life Doesn’t Go as Planned

This one has a lot of my heart in it.

Before infertility became something I researched and spoke about, it was something my wife and I were trying to find our way through. Preparing this talk brings me back to our own story—and to why helping couples stay connected through infertility means so much to me.

I’m excited to share it. And there’s something vulnerable about standing on a stage and talking about an experience you once struggled to find words for.

At the heart of this talk is a question I keep coming back to: What does strength look like when we can’t fix what’s happening?

For me, part of the answer has been learning that we don’t have to carry the hard things alone. We can grieve, ask for support, and let our partners see what we’re really feeling.

I’ll be sharing a little of the preparation, the rehearsals, and the moments along the way. I’d love for you to follow along—and I’m grateful you’re here.

Learn more about the event:
https://tedxbillings.com/2026-presenters/

10/08/2026

Going through infertility or miscarriage? Send this to your support system. ❤️

Sometimes it’s hard to explain what you need when you’re already carrying so much. Let this help you find the words.

To the friends, family members, and partners watching: we know your advice often comes from love.

But “at least…” and “have you tried…” may not be what someone needs right now.

Instead of looking for a solution, start by acknowledging the emotion.

“I’m so sorry. This is really hard.”
“It makes sense that you’re feeling this way.”
“I’m here to listen. You don’t have to pretend you’re okay with me.”

You don’t have to understand every part of infertility or miscarriage to take someone’s pain seriously. And you don’t have to turn sadness into hope before the conversation ends.

Before offering advice, ask: “Would you like ideas, or would it help more for me to just listen?”

Support isn’t always helping someone feel differently. Sometimes it’s helping them feel less alone in what they’re already feeling.

Send this as a gentle way to say: “This is how you can be here for me.”

09/30/2026

WE’RE NOMINATED—AND WE NEED YOUR VOTE! 🎉🎙️

Love and Infertility has been nominated for a 2026 Signal Award, and Ginny and I are SO excited!

We started this podcast to have honest conversations about infertility, grief, relationships, and mental health—and to help people feel less alone. Seeing those conversations recognized means so much to us.

Now we need your help to bring home the Listener’s Choice Award!

Voting closes October 15, so please don’t put it off—cast your vote today. ❤️

Choose Love and Infertility using the link below, and make sure to complete any email verification so your vote counts.

👉 VOTE HERE:
https://vote.signalaward.com/PublicVoting?utm_campaign=signa5_entrant_finalistnotification_092926&utm_medium=email&utm_source=cio #/2026/shows/genre/family-child-raising

Then send this to a friend or share it to your stories and help us spread the word!

To our guests, listeners, and everyone who has supported this show: THANK YOU. We’re incredibly grateful to be doing this with you.

Let’s bring more attention to conversations that deserve to be heard.

09/28/2026

Walking to my therapy office today, I found myself thinking about how much pain I’ve heard lately surrounding infertility.

The waiting. The disappointment. The exhaustion of making another decision when you’re already worn down. And the loneliness of wondering whether anyone really understands—even the person beside you.

My prayer and hope for everyone reading this is that you don’t have to carry all of that by yourself.

That you have someone who asks how you’re doing and makes time for the honest answer. That you feel supported without having to pretend you’re okay. And that you and your partner can find ways to reach for each other, even when you’re hurting differently.

Infertility doesn’t have to destroy your relationship.

That doesn’t mean love makes it easy, or that struggling means you’re doing something wrong. Sometimes staying connected takes help, practice, and conversations you don’t yet know how to have.

You can start with something as simple as:

“I don’t need you to make this better right now. I just need to know you’re here with me.”

You deserve support as a person, not just as a patient. And your relationship deserves care alongside everything else you’re navigating.

You don’t have to do infertility alone. ❤️

09/24/2026

The answer?

Accepting influence.

That’s the fancy couple-therapy term.

A simpler word for it is humility.

Accepting influence means being able to say:

“Maybe I don’t have the whole picture.”

“Your perspective matters too.”

“I can understand why that hurt you.”

“You might be right about part of this.”

“I can adjust.”

And honestly, this is one of the biggest things I see couples needing to work on.

Not because they don’t love each other.

But because conflict gets dangerous when both people are trying to prove that their version is the only valid one.

Healthy couples are not couples who always agree.

They’re couples who can stay open to each other even when they disagree.

They can be influenced.

They can soften.

They can admit impact without immediately defending intent.

They can let humility matter more than winning.

If more couples practiced this before things became deeply stuck, I think a lot of relationships would feel very different.

09/23/2026

What’s the number one skill that could help couples BEFORE they feel like they need couple therapy?

I’m curious what you think!

And let’s get more specific than “communication.” What does that actually look like when you’re tired, frustrated, or seeing things differently from your partner?

What’s the skill you wish you’d learned earlier in your relationship?

You don’t have to wait until things feel overwhelming to start caring for the way you connect.

Drop your guess in the comments—I’d love to hear your take before I share mine. 👇

❤️

09/22/2026

A huge thank you to my church, The Crossing in Fenton, for letting me practice my upcoming TEDx talk on their stage this morning! ❤️

There’s something about moving from rehearsing the words to standing on a stage and sharing them. After all the writing, refining, and preparation, I’m feeling ready—and really excited.

On October 17 in Billings, Montana, I’ll be presenting:

The Silent Shattering: How We Redefine Strength When Life Doesn’t Go as Planned

This talk is deeply personal. It’s about what happens when the life we imagined changes, and we have to reconsider what being strong actually means. Not just holding everything together, but allowing ourselves to grieve, letting people in, and finding the courage to move forward differently.

I’ve put a lot of myself into this message, and I’m ready to share it with the world.

Grateful for a church community that supports me along the way. Billings, I’ll see you soon!

09/14/2026

Here’s your homework for tonight. ❤️

Put your phone down, turn toward your partner, and ask:

“What is the number one thing that is stressful for you right now?”

“How can I love you better?”

Then comes the most important part: make room for the answer.

Listen without preparing your defense. Get curious instead of correcting. Before jumping into solutions, try saying:

“That sounds really heavy. I’m glad you told me.”

You don’t have to agree on every detail to care about what your partner is experiencing.

Then switch roles. Both of you deserve to feel heard.

I’d love to see more couples make this a habit. Not another task to check off, but a genuine invitation to understand each other—and follow through with care.

Two questions won’t solve everything. But asking them regularly, receiving the answers gently, and responding with love can be the beginning of a meaningful change.

Don’t assume you already know what your partner is carrying. Ask.

More resources for your relationship:
https://www.drclaybrigance.com

🎙️ Listen to Love and Infertility:
https://www.drclaybrigance.com/podcast

💍

Address

15480 Clayton Road Suite 103
Ballwin, MO
63011

Telephone

+13142469126

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