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Stone and Vine Design, 8112 State Route 12 Suite 4, Holland Patent, NY (2026)

06/23/2026

Some days survival is all you can do
Life is exhausting when taking it one day at a time.

Freedom is still possible!

Healing will be much longer than you hoped.
It can feel overwhelming and endless.

It’s just your body remembering suppressed trauma. There is hope, so much hope!

One day when you felt it was impossible to recover; you will feel bits of you come back. Those are the glimmers that will help you find your way.

The way to trust yourself again. ❤️

And if you need help finding your way I’m here to help.

-stone and vine design

06/22/2026

Boundaries are not just about protection.
They are often an invitation into grief.
The grief of what was familiar.
What you hoped would change.
Of the patterns you’ve outgrown.
And of the version of life you kept trying to make work.

06/22/2026

Sometimes the hardest part of healing isn’t leaving the pattern.
It’s realizing the pattern feels like home.

If you grew up earning love, over-explaining yourself, shrinking to keep the peace, or carrying blame that was never yours, narcissistic dynamics can feel familiar long before they feel harmful.

Especially if your imperfections, emotions, or even the projections of others were used against you or shamed.

It often happens slowly. So slowly that it’s hard to name. Hard to pin down. Hard to call it abuse.

This kind of abuse is rarely loud at first. It’s confusing. Distorting. Subtle enough to make you question yourself before you ever question them.

That’s what makes them so hard to see.

Not because you’re weak.
Because your body learned survival and now your unconscious patterning is leading the way.

Healing often begins when you stop asking,
“How do I make them understand me?”
and start asking,
“Why do I keep abandoning myself to be understood?”

— Stone & Vine Design

06/20/2026

Throw out anything I’ve ever said about communicating, communicating boundaries, vulnerability within a relationship and repair within a narcissistic relationship dynamic.

In a narcissistic relationship, those same things can become weapons.

For example:

• Taking accountability
Healthy: creates mutual softness.
Narcissistic: becomes proof that you’re always the problem.

• Explaining your feelings
Healthy: builds understanding.
Narcissistic: gives them a map of your wounds to use against you later.

• Being patient and compassionate
Healthy: allows space for growth.
Narcissistic: teaches them your boundaries are flexible.

• Apologizing
Healthy: repairs rupture.
Narcissistic: reinforces their superiority and often bypasses their accountability.

• Trying harder
Healthy: deepens the bond.
Narcissistic: often feeds the cycle because effort is rarely reciprocated.

The biggest distinction:

A wounded partner may hurt you and care.
A narcissistic partner may hurt you and care more about controlling your perception of the hurt than repairing it. Coming to them about the pain will just keep you chasing your tail and circling where you won’t even know what you were trying to communicate anymore

That’s where things like DARVO show up:
Deny. Attack. Reverse victim and offender.

And this matters because your nervous system will feel the difference before your mind admits it.

Ask yourself:

* When I bring pain, do they become curious or defensive?
* Do I feel clearer after conversations, or more confused?
* Does accountability flow both ways?
* When I set a boundary, do they respect it or punish it?
* Am I shrinking to keep peace?

That last one is the tell.

Not every avoidant person is narcissistic. Which also can be confusing because they may have narcissistic tendencies in conflict. The difference is the avoidant has feelings they may not be showing. A narcissist has zero empathy.

Not every selfish person is narcissistic.
But if your healing keeps making the relationship harder instead of healthier, pay attention.
Growth threatens control.
Control and your negative emotions are oxygen to narcissistic systems.

06/16/2026

Life reveals us through other people, not in isolation. Isolation can feel peaceful because nothing is pressing on the wound, but that doesn’t mean the wound is gone, it simply means nothing is touching it. Relationships, friendships, family, marriage, and even our children bring things to the surface that we may never see on our own. When someone disappoints us, abandons us, misunderstands us, controls us, betrays us, or dismisses us, it often activates something deeper. The pain is rarely just about the present moment. More often, it touches something older.

A trigger is rarely random. It can point to an unmet need, an old wound, a buried truth, or a boundary we have not yet honored. That does not mean the other person is always right or that their behavior should be excused, but it does mean there is something there for us to look at. Sometimes the people who hurt us are still gifts, not because the pain was okay, but because they revealed the pattern. And patterns matter, especially when different people keep bringing us back to the same feeling. That is often life showing us where healing is still needed. If we stayed untouched and unchallenged, safe in our homes, we might feel calm, but we would not truly know ourselves.

Relationships are mirrors. They show us what we fear, what we tolerate, what we chase, what we long for, and where we still need to grow.

The work is not to blame ourselves for every wound or blame others for every pain, but to become curious. Why did this hit me so deeply? Why does this feel familiar? What is this trying to show me? Not every relationship is meant to stay, but every relationship has something to teach. The pattern is not there to punish us. It is there to wake us up.

06/15/2026

Sometimes healing isn’t about “doing more.”

It’s about finally seeing what has been running underneath it all.

The pattern.
The protection.
The survival strategy.

The Rise is a 3-session container for the person ready to go deeper.

Not just into awareness,
but into the body.

Because insight alone doesn’t change a pattern.

Integration does.

Together we uncover what’s beneath the anxiety, overthinking, emotional eating, chronic stress, weight retention, relationship cycles, and physical symptoms your body may be carrying.

Because the body often holds what the mind has had to suppress.

When the nervous system begins to feel safe, so much can shift:

• weight loss resistance
• chronic tension
• digestive issues
• inflammation
• fatigue
• hormonal imbalance
• emotional overwhelm

This work is not about fixing you.

It’s about understanding what your body has been protecting and giving it another way.

This is where we stop managing symptoms and start meeting the root.

3 sessions
$297 total
or 3 payments of $99

You are not stuck.
You are patterned.
And patterns can be unwound.

Message me “RISE” for details.

06/11/2026

Worry often disguises itself as love because it feels active. It feels like we’re doing something. Preparing. Protecting. Staying vigilant.

The people we love don’t need us to constantly imagine their failures, losses, or pain.

They need us to believe in their capacity.

Because every time we relate to someone through worry, we are subtly telling them:

“I see your vulnerability more than I see your strength.”

Love looks at your partner, your child, your business, your dream, and says:
“I want to experience this.”

Worry looks at the same thing and says:
“How do I make sure this doesn’t get taken away?”

The irony is that what looks like care on the surface is often an attempt to manage our own discomfort underneath.

People worry about their children, their partner, their success in business.

But beneath the worry is often an unspoken fear:
“I don’t know if I could survive the pain if this goes wrong.”

When this remains unconscious, worry can begin to shape how we see others.

Instead of seeing capability, we see vulnerability.

Instead of seeing resilience, we see risk.

Instead of seeing possibility, we see what could be lost.

The shadow isn’t the worry itself.

The shadow is the illusion that control and vigilance create safety.

Many people learned early in life that being on guard was necessary. They became the one who anticipated problems, managed emotions, read the room, prepared for disaster, or carried responsibility that wasn’t theirs.

Years later, that same pattern gets mistaken for love but love and vigilance are not the same thing. Love allows people to become.
Vigilance tries to protect people from becoming.

One says:
“I trust your journey.”

The other says:
“I need to monitor your journey so I can feel safe.”

The deeper work is recognizing that worry is often an attempt to avoid our own feelings of powerlessness.

Beneath the urge to protect everyone is usually a wound that whispers:

“I wasn’t protected.”

“I wasn’t safe.”

“I wasn’t prepared for what happened to me.”

The invitation isn’t to stop caring.

It’s to stop confusing fear with care.

To stop calling hypervigilance love.

To stop carrying responsibility for outcomes that were never yours to control.

And to trust that the people you love are not made stronger by your worry.

They are made stronger when they are seen as capable, resilient, and able to meet life on their own terms.

06/09/2026

This is something I’ve never shared publicly.

In 2017, I was diagnosed with atypical migraines and pseudo-dementia—my body’s way of saying, “I can’t hold this anymore.” Years of chronic stress, decades of trauma, and emotional suppression had caught up with me.

I used to have panic attacks so intense I’d drive myself to the ER in a dissociated state.
One time, the nurse couldn’t find me. I had wandered into a janitor’s closet and sat there, completely unaware of where I was. That was the only place my body could finally let go, just a little.

Back then, I was so focused on being “in control” that I couldn’t even allow myself to fall apart because how would I ever pick up the pieces for my kids. I had to be "strong" for them.
I'm all they had.

But something shifted recently.

I felt a panic attack coming on my heart and stomach vibrating last week, my chest tight, my solar plexus pulsing.
I could feel it building all week.
This feeling that I never thought would pass.
But this time, I didn’t fight it.
I didn’t label it “bad.”
I didn’t override it.

I named the unseen.
I heard the language of my shadow screaming what my unconscious mind couldn’t say.
I reclaimed my fragmented self.
I was in a state of survival,
and I’ve been shedding those layers ever since.
My panic wasn’t regression. It was reunion.
A sacred remembering.

I rewrote the narrative. I made it into a different story,

One where my body is wise, not broken.

One where anxiety isn’t a flaw, but a signal.

One where I trust that my body knows what to do.

People label panic attacks as “bad.”

But what if they’re just information? What if they’re sacred messengers, showing us what needs to be integrated, what’s ready to be released?

When I texted my husband "please come home, I need you"—who was out with friends—he came home, barely got his shoes off, and just held me.
And I let him.
I let someone see me in that space.
Especially someone I want to see me as
the most capable.
Not polished.
Not “capable.”
Just real.

And you know what?
The anxiety left.
That tight terrifying feeling.
It hasn’t come back.
Because I didn’t suppress it.
I released it.
I let my body do what it knew how to do.
It wasn't mine to hold.
It was projection and protection; that I held on to that kept me safe at the time.
OLD news.

This is what healing looks like now:

Not perfection.
Presence.

Not control.
Trust.

I feel more at home in my body than I have in decades.
And that feeling? That remembering?
That’s what freedom tastes like.
That’s what home feels like.

06/02/2026

I’ve noticed quite a few clients coming in lately confused about attachment styles and narcissistic tendencies.

Honestly, it makes sense.

The behaviors can look surprisingly similar from the outside.

A dismissive avoidant, fearful avoidant, and narcissist can all leave someone feeling confused, rejected, lonely, unseen, and questioning themselves.

The difference is often found underneath the behavior.

A dismissive avoidant is typically protecting themselves from vulnerability and dependence.

A fearful avoidant wants connection but is often terrified of being hurt, abandoned, or engulfed by it.

A narcissist is often protecting their self-image and may struggle significantly with accountability, empathy, and self-reflection.

One of the biggest questions I get asked is:

“Can they heal?”

In general, attachment styles can absolutely heal.

I’ve seen people with avoidant attachment become some of the most emotionally available, self-aware, and secure partners because they learned how to move through the very fears that once controlled them.

Narcissistic patterns are often much more difficult to change because healing requires a willingness to take accountability, tolerate discomfort, and examine the impact of your behavior on others.

The label itself isn’t always the most important question.

The better question is:

Can this person acknowledge the impact of their behavior, take responsibility, and participate in repair?

That answer will usually tell you more than any label ever could.

Stone & Vine Design
Clarity for your home. Healing for your life.

06/02/2026

June 1 | Narcissistic Abuse Awareness Day

A narcissist often doesn’t look abusive from the outside.

They can appear charming, successful, funny, helpful, or even admired by others.

Behind closed doors, however, daily life often feels like walking on eggshells.

There may be constant criticism disguised as jokes, subtle put-downs, shifting standards you can never quite meet, blame for problems they create, emotional punishment when you have needs, and a refusal to take accountability for the harm they cause. They may twist conversations, rewrite history, deny things they clearly said or did and leave you feeling confused, guilty, or responsible for their behavior.

Over time, you stop focusing on what you think, feel, or need and start focusing on how to avoid their reactions.

The goal is not love, it’s control and manipulation.

And the damage often comes not from one explosive event, but from thousands of small moments that slowly teach you to doubt yourself while trusting them more than your own reality.

The hardest part of narcissistic abuse isn’t always the abuse itself.

It’s what happens afterward.

It’s the way you start collecting evidence for your own reality because somewhere along the way you stopped trusting yourself.

You learn to abandon your needs before someone can reject them.

You become so focused on keeping the peace that you no longer know what peace actually feels like.

And the most heartbreaking part?

Many survivors don’t leave thinking:

“I was abused.”

They leave thinking:

“I am too sensitive.”

“I ask for too much.”

“I am difficult to love.”

“Maybe if I explained myself better…”

The abuse often ends long before the self-abandonment does.

That is why healing can feel so complicated.

Because healing isn’t grieving the relationship.

It’s grieving the version of yourself that learned to survive it.

Stone and Vine Design

06/23/2026

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