Stone and Vine Design

Stone and Vine Design We all move through patterns we didn’t consciously choose. I help you see the triggers and unconscious patterns shaping your life and home.

Meeting you in a way that actually shifts how you live and connect.

8112 State Route 12, Suite 4, Barneveld NY

Not all abuse is obvious, and not all abusive behavior is consciously planned. Sometimes people repeat what was modeled ...
09/13/2026

Not all abuse is obvious, and not all abusive behavior is consciously planned. Sometimes people repeat what was modeled for them. They may act from unhealed trauma, fear, shame, or survival patterns without fully understanding the harm they are causing. They may genuinely love you and still use control, manipulation, anger, silence, blame, or intimidation when they feel threatened.

Understanding where behavior comes from does not mean excusing it. Intention matters, but so does impact.

Sometimes you recognize an unhealthy or abusive pattern by who you have become around someone:

* You monitor their mood before expressing your own.
* You rehearse your words to prevent a reaction.
* You make yourself smaller to keep the peace.
* You question your own feelings or memory.
* You call it a good day because nothing bad happened.
* You feel responsible for regulating everyone around you.

And if abuse has been part of your life, chances are some of it still lives within your nervous system, body, and subconscious. It may continue influencing your relationships with partners, friends, coworkers, or your children. You might overexplain, people please, shut down, become controlling when you feel unsafe, or react to the present as though the past is about to repeat itself.

At Stone & Vine Design, the work is not about labeling someone as good or bad. It is about bringing unconscious patterns into awareness, understanding the protective parts beneath them, releasing what the body is still carrying, rebuilding boundaries, and learning how to feel safe without controlling, abandoning, or shrinking yourself.

Whether you have been harmed by these patterns or recognize that your own unhealed pain is affecting the people you love, awareness is where the cycle begins to change.

ATTENTION ALL HEALERSEveryone can benefit from shadow work in deeply personal and unique ways, but I especially encourag...
09/12/2026

ATTENTION ALL HEALERS

Everyone can benefit from shadow work in deeply personal and unique ways, but I especially encourage healing practitioners to experience this work for themselves.

Healers are often so gifted at seeing, holding, and guiding everyone else that they unconsciously push down their own need to be seen and held. And knowledge which practitioners usually have so much of can sometimes become the very thing that gets in the way. We can mistake understanding a pattern for healing it, or believe that because we know the tools, we should be able to do everything alone.

But knowledge is not the same as embodiment, and self-awareness is not always the same as integration.

Healers, notice where you believe you have to do everything yourself and become curious about where that belief began. Who taught you that needing support made you less capable? Who did you have to become when no one was there to hold you?

Believe me, I’ve been there. 😉 Now I have an entire team of healing support around me. I regularly do this work with trusted colleagues and energetic practitioners because I respect the responsibility of what I do. The more supported, integrated, and emotionally spacious I become, the greater my capacity to hold others and the deeper I can safely go with my clients.

The healer deserves a place to remove the role, surrender the answers, and be held too.

My Montana trip ⛰️ coming up is solely for me, my own healing but this healing trickles down to my clients. I can go even deeper. Our own shadows block our capacity of truth without being integrated. I have clients that come in and say I do this work by myself I’m not even sure why I’m here and then leave with the answer of why they were there. We have blocks and blinders on our patterns otherwise life would be a little too easy if we could see them clearly.

We don’t just magically acquire patience, as if some people were handed an extra supply at birth and the rest of us miss...
09/09/2026

We don’t just magically acquire patience, as if some people were handed an extra supply at birth and the rest of us missed the shipment. What we call impatience is often a trigger trying to tell us something.

When a child is loud, slow, emotional, messy, demanding, or asks seventeen questions before breakfast, their behavior may be touching a place inside us that already feels overwhelmed, powerless, unseen, or out of control. The qualities that frustrate us most in children are often connected to parts of ourselves we were once forced to hide. If we were not allowed to be needy, curious, emotional, imperfect, or fully expressed, watching a child freely be those things can stir something within us. Or when a child is “disrespectful” which is most of the time what they can’t say freely or even have the language to express can also be one of the biggest parental triggers. Having a conversation with them can trigger us in a way where we will take their feelings as hit to our parenting skills.

I don’t “teach” you to separate it or tricks to parenting I allow integration in my space so that you heal naturally.

People do not always look obviously “triggered.” When triggers are ignored or misunderstood, they often come out sideways as:

* Yelling, name calling, swearing, or harsh punishment
* Blaming someone else for how they feel
* Sarcasm, criticism, teasing, or humiliation
* Slamming doors, throwing things, or becoming physically intimidating
* Giving the silent treatment or emotionally withdrawing
* Withholding affection, attention, or warmth
* Becoming controlling, rigid, or overly critical
* Guilt tripping or making the child responsible for the adult’s emotions
* Overexplaining, lecturing, or needing to prove they are right
* Pretending everything is fine while quietly keeping score
* People pleasing until resentment builds and eventually explodes
* Numbing through scrolling, drinking, food, shopping, work, or distraction

Feeling triggered does not make us bad, but what we do with that trigger is still our responsibility. So our children do not pay it forward to their own lives, relationships and their own children.

This is the work I’ve come here to do, not from a place of perfection, but from lived experience, deep self examination, and a fierce commitment to stop passing pain forward. I don’t do this work because I always get it right. I do it because I am willing to look at what I inherited, take responsibility for what lives in me, and consciously choose what continues through me.

-Stone and Vine Design

The areas of your home that keep asking for your attention may be connected to the parts of your own energy that are ask...
09/09/2026

The areas of your home that keep asking for your attention may be connected to the parts of your own energy that are asking to be seen.

Cleaning out a closet or clearing a particular area of your home is about so much more than changing the physical space. Different areas of the home can reflect different parts of our energy, our lives, and the unconscious patterns we carry.

The kitchen is the heart chakra of the home. It can show you how you nourish the people around you, how you nourish yourself, and whether there is a balance between the two. Do you naturally take care of everyone else while forgetting yourself? Are you able to offer yourself the same care and nourishment you so easily give to others? The way your kitchen feels and functions can offer insight into those patterns.

The bedroom represents how you receive in your life as a whole. It is not only about romantic relationships. It can reflect how comfortable you are receiving rest, intimacy, support, pleasure, safety, love, and care. What is happening in this room may be telling you much more than you realize.

Your closets, recurring piles, and unfinished household tasks can also carry meaning. Maybe there are certain closets you avoid opening. Maybe piles return almost immediately after you clear them. Perhaps you dislike doing laundry altogether. Or maybe you have no problem washing and drying it, but putting it away feels nearly impossible. Even these differences can tell us something about beginning, completing, integrating, deciding where things belong, and the responsibilities we are carrying in other areas of our lives.

We can clean these spaces, reorganize them, make intentional changes, and shift the energy within the home. That physical movement can absolutely begin to create movement within us.

But unless we reach the root of the issue, whether it is an original trigger, trauma, belief, emotional wound, or protective pattern, the energy can quickly return. The piles begin forming again. The closet fills back up. The laundry remains unfinished. Sometimes the same pattern simply moves into another room because we changed what it looked like without understanding what created it.

We can shift patterns through the energy of the home, but sometimes your body and unconscious are asking you to go deeper. They want you to understand why the pattern exists, what it has been protecting, and what you truly need in order to change it.

Your home, your body, and your mind are always giving you information. Our job is to learn how to listen and become curious about what they are saying instead of judging what we see.

This is where I can help.

I can help you understand the language of your home, connect the physical pattern to its deeper emotional and energetic root, and create change that does more than make your home look different. It can allow your entire life to feel different.

Your home is not only where your patterns appear. It can also become part of how you heal them.

When I created Stone & Vine, I knew I didn’t want to choose between helping people understand their inner patterns and h...
09/08/2026

When I created Stone & Vine, I knew I didn’t want to choose between helping people understand their inner patterns and helping them create homes that support who they are becoming.

Our environments often reflect what is happening within us. The rooms we avoid, the clutter we cannot release, the projects we never finish, and even the places where we struggle to rest can reveal what needs our attention.

Stone & Vine is where personal insight meets practical change. Through shadow work, intuitive conversation, and thoughtful home design, we uncover what is no longer working and create a life and environment that feel more honest, supportive, and aligned.

The stone represents the strong foundation we need to feel safe. The vine represents the growth that becomes possible from there.

This work is not about “fixing” you or creating a perfect home. It is about understanding yourself more deeply and building a life that finally reflects that understanding.

Stone & Vine Design
Healing for your life. • Clarity for your home.

The biggest turn-on for me has nothing to do with appearance; it’s growth.It’s someone who is genuinely interested in be...
09/05/2026

The biggest turn-on for me has nothing to do with appearance; it’s growth.

It’s someone who is genuinely interested in becoming closer to who they actually are. Someone who wants to understand themselves, their partner, their patterns, and the life they’re creating. They aren’t allowing life to happen to them they have the type of control that is admirable and safe.

I find it incredibly attractive when someone wants to grow within themselves, their career, and the different roles they hold in life; as a partner, parent, friend, leader, or human being. When they become more intentional about what they’re building, how they’re showing up, and who they allow access to their time and energy.

All of it means something…there is an underlyimg simple pattern and they are telling you without using their words.
Who receives their attention.
What they’re willing to tolerate.
Where they invest their energy.
Whether they protect what they say matters.
Whether they keep choosing growth when comfort would be easier.

How attractive is it when someone says, “I want to know you better,” even after years together? When they’re willing to question an old belief, recognize a pattern, try something new, or learn how to love you in a way that actually reaches you?

The biggest ick for me isn’t imperfection. It’s refusal.

“I’m too old to change.”
“This is just how I am.”
“What you see is what you get.”
“I’m set in my ways.”
“Take me or leave me.”
“I don’t need to work on myself.”
“Why do we have to talk about everything?”

Those statements don’t feel confident to me. They feel like closed doors. Like choosing familiarity over possibility. Expecting everyone else to live inside the limitations you’ve decided not to examine.

I don’t need perfection. I need movement.
I don’t need someone who knows everything. I need someone who still wants to know more because we are forever shifting. This is a big part of divorce using an old narrative of the person as facts. This makes partners feel unseen and stagnant. STUCK is what I hear so many clients say.
I don’t need constant excitement. I need a shared desire to keep life alive.
I don’t need someone who never gets uncomfortable. I want someone who understands that discomfort is often the doorway to expansion.

Growth is intimate.
Curiosity is magnetic.
Discernment is attractive.
Self-awareness is sexy.
Protecting your energy is powerful.

And someone who refuses to stop becoming?
What’s the point?! Where is the adventure? You get one chance in this particular body. Own it, don’t allow life to just happen and get lost inside it.

That is the energy I want beside me. And how I help clients see the life the yearn for. 🔥

POSITIVE VIEW OF SELF + NEGATIVE VIEW OF OTHERS = DISMISSIVE AVOIDANT ATTACHMENTLet’s talk about the attachment style th...
08/26/2026

POSITIVE VIEW OF SELF + NEGATIVE VIEW OF OTHERS = DISMISSIVE AVOIDANT ATTACHMENT

Let’s talk about the attachment style that says, “I’m fine. Everyone else is a lot.”
A positive view of self sounds healthy, but it does not always mean someone has secure, grounded self worth. Sometimes it is protective self reliance.

“I’m fine on my own.”
“I shouldn’t need anyone.”
“My feelings aren’t the issue.”
“Why is everyone so emotional?”

Often, this person learned that needing people leads to disappointment. So they became independent. Capable. Logical. Completely fine. Just ask them. Then their partner asks for reassurance, clarity or for them to actually talk about what just happened.
Their partner is saying, “Please come closer.”
The dismissive avoidant nervous system may hear, “You are failing me,” “You are the problem,” or “I am about to take away your freedom.” When in actuality if the avoidant mind had more clarity they would know giving more information actually gives you MORE freedom. More accountability equals more freedoms because the anxious or fearful avoidant would have more trust.
So…Instead of risking vulnerability, they hand the problem right back.

“You’re too sensitive.”
“You’re always upset.”
“Nothing is wrong.”
“Why do we have to keep talking about this?”

Then comes the silence, minimizing, distance and sometimes a full invisible PowerPoint presentation explaining why the person asking for connection is actually the entire issue.
Anxious, fearful and dismissive avoidant relationships can feel so painful.

The anxious partner thinks, “If I explain it one more time, maybe we can repair this.”

The dismissive partner thinks, “If we stop talking about it, maybe it will stop being a problem.”

One moves closer to feel safe.
One moves away to feel safe.
Meanwhile, the relationship is sitting in the corner like, “Hello? I also live here.”
Neither person is necessarily trying to hurt the other. Both are using the protection that once made sense. But protection without awareness can create the exact disconnection both people fear.

Healing together is NOT one person learning to need less so the other person never has to feel uncomfortable.

It is both people learning to stay present and one without abandoning themselves to chase connection. The other without abandoning the relationship to avoid discomfort.

Attachment patterns are not identities. They are protective strategies. What was learned for survival can be met with curiosity, safety, awareness and repair.
Which attachment style calls to you? Remember these aren’t our whole selves just part of us that may give us patterns that aren’t truly giving us our best life.

Hi, this is for the people who don’t have boundaries. If you already have healthy boundaries, you can move along or stay...
08/26/2026

Hi, this is for the people who don’t have boundaries. If you already have healthy boundaries, you can move along or stay for a little vindication.

Boundaries come in all shapes and sizes, but if you find yourself angry, offended, or hurt because a family member, friend, or coworker has set one with you, If someone else’s boundary lands as rejection, pause and get curious about what it touched in you. Sometimes another person’s boundary presses directly against one of our own patterns. For example, imagine a friend tells you, “I can’t answer late at night anymore.” You immediately feel rejected and think, “Wow, I would always be there for them.” But is the anger really about their boundary, or is it about the fact that you make yourself endlessly available, even when you are depleted, and quietly resent that no one protects you in the same way?

That is where the work is. The next time someone’s clear boundary triggers you, pause and ask yourself: Is this boundary actually harmful, or is it simply unfamiliar? What story am I attaching to it? Where am I allowing something similar in my own life? What boundary do I need but feel afraid to set? Let your conscious awareness answer before your subconscious wound takes over. Boundaries are our friends. Relationships without boundaries often create resentment, confusion, and anger that eventually leaks out. A romantic relationship without boundaries is even juicier. 😳

Signed, a formerly boundary impaired person.

P.S. When I first started setting boundaries, some people in my life were absolutely shocked and appalled, and then I felt guilty. Can you believe it? I felt guilty for protecting my own heart. But that is what happens when we associate boundaries with rejection, selfishness, or conflict. We avoid the discomfort, stay silent, and eventually our anger leaks out through sarcasm, irritation, resentment, passive aggression, and gossip. Gossip can be some very loud, leaky anger. So let’s forgive ourselves for all the times we didn’t know how to protect our hearts and move forward knowing that the right people may not always like our boundaries, but they will not require us to abandon ourselves to remain in their lives.

*obsessed with the moon 🌕 this pic was when we took a trip to Croatia. Many more moons to share! 🌜

I used to think healing would make me better at explaining myself. Instead, it made me need to explain myself less. Ther...
08/17/2026

I used to think healing would make me better at explaining myself. Instead, it made me need to explain myself less. There is a particular kind of exhaustion that comes from constantly building a case for your own experiences. Why you feel quiet or why you feel you may need space before you are even ready to answer that for yourself.

Eventually this work takes the parts that are quiet that we need to fill the space with noise. It taught me that silence can be safe too. It gives your mind space to regulate around what you actually need, not what everyone else needs in order to feel comfortable.

*pics of our cat my son took feel like what I'm trying to explain.

In the first picture Ranger is quiet, resting but still alert, eyes open ears up, watching what's around him. He is physically still but part of him is paying attention. He is still trying to fill the quiet. (you aren't fooling anyone with your "peace")

In the second he completely lets go. Eyes closed, head down, body softened into the sunlight. Nothing to watch. Nothing to anticipate or respond to.

I’m asking you to notice how difficult quiet can actually be. What do you fill it with? And which picture feels more like the trust you’re trying to create within yourself and in the life around you?

People sometimes ask me, “What exactly do you do?”And the answer has grown.Stone & Vine was never meant to fit neatly in...
08/11/2026

People sometimes ask me, “What exactly do you do?”

And the answer has grown.

Stone & Vine was never meant to fit neatly into one box.

I work with the shadows we carry within ourselves, the patterns that show up in our relationships, and even the stories our homes can quietly hold.

My current offerings include:

1:1 Shadow Work • Somatic + Inner Parts Work • Couples Relational Resets • House Shadow Sessions • Home + Shadow Design • Past Life Regression • Higher Self Letters • Shadow Work Letters • Home Numerology • Private Immersions • Retreat + Group Experiences

Some people come to me because they keep repeating the same relationship pattern.

Some because they feel disconnected from themselves.

Some because their home no longer feels like them.

Some don’t even know exactly what they’re looking for yet. They just know something is ready to shift.

That’s the space I love working in.

Stone & Vine Design
Healing for your life. Clarity for your home.

Address

8112 State Route 12 Suite 4
Holland Patent, NY
13304

Telephone

+13157651699

Website

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