BFF Therapy

02/04/2026

Today at 8am if you are noodling at your computer and want to nerd out with us. Delighted to be in conversation with

02/01/2026

We have snow in North Carolina. My nervous system is delighted. Nothing like shoveling heavy snow to exhaustion followed by sledding and watching the birds. Brings on a deep reset for me.

Happy First Day of Black History Month ! How are you celebrating ✊🏽

01/29/2026

Come hang out with Dr. J on Wednesday, February 11th from 12 pm to 2 pm to talk about all things DBT. Excited to share what I’ve found most effective over the last 15 years working with adolescents and young adults with high-risk presentations in hospital-based settings, community mental health centers, residential treatment, and private practice.

12/31/2025

Screenshot these reflection questions for when you are ready. When your system can slow down.

Voice memo them or use (not sponsored just recommended often) - writing things out is a different process and studies show big impact when we talk it out! I’m a verbal possessor but that doesn’t mean everyone needs to join me in that 🤦🏽‍♀️😂 SO voice memos are magical.

12/18/2025

For AuADHD minds, control is not a flaw. It is a regulation strategy.
When we do not understand why a behavior is regulating, we try to remove the behavior instead of replacing the need it is meeting. Spending, scrolling, hyperfocusing, and overplanning often create predictability, choice, completion, and reward. When you remove the behavior without replacing the regulation, the nervous system does not calm. It compensates.

Think of control like a volume k**b, not an on and off switch.
You do not remove regulation. You tune it. The work is not to stop controlling, but to move regulation toward choices that support deeper well being. This becomes especially important during holidays and overstimulating weeks, when routines change and the nervous system is already under more load. Regulation is not something you earn. It is something you design.

If you notice spending or impulsive control increasing, try swapping in regulation that still offers structure and payoff:
• planning a small event or hosting instead of attending
• volunteering for a scheduled role, movement work can be regulating because it’s helping your be in action toward a deep value. Sitting on your hands watching injustice can cause even more damage internally to your nervous system.
• puzzles, crafts, or cooking with a clear beginning and end, process and predictability.
• rearranging a space or organizing one contained area, define what done means here is key.
• creating playlists, plans, or designs without purchasing- sooth via is your friend

Same need. Different outlet.

Before you change the behavior, ask yourself these three questions:
What is this giving me right now?
Is it predictability, choice, completion, relief, or reward?
How else could I meet that same need with less cost to my future self?

And do compassionately keep in mind you need regulation, so it might not be the time in the moment to expect executive functioning.

This is why having easy swaps in a notes space on your phone or up on a chart on the wall really helps. Past you can help future you out to regulate like a boss this holiday. You got this.

02/21/2025

12/26/2023

For all of us navigating our mental health this holiday season (that's every single one of us), may my monthly column help you do it with compassion for yourself and your loved ones. Merry Christmas!

In this month's Can We Talk?, Moraya helps a Refinery29 reader who enquired about how to support her partner who is experiencing the same anxiety disorder as her.

09/27/2023

Thank you Arlington High School for hosting this morning. We were so happy and grateful to be able to talk mental health and su***de prevention with the senior class and can’t wait to come back!

09/12/2023

Back to school is Dr. J’s favorite time of year. It’s a chance to restock on BFF’s fave fidgets, featuring cubes, dough balls, sugar balls, and the new addition,